The Mark of the Stones Chapter 4

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“Are you sure?” asked Myrina with a half smile on her lips.

“Positive.” replied Joshua with an expression of anger on his face.

“No,” said the one in the green cloak as she put down her hood.“she meant about me being a man.” He couldn't take his eyes off of her. She was the most beautiful creature he had ever beheld. Then she raised her brow at Joshua.

“I’d like you to meet Kaladriel, my daughter.” said Myrina.

"Daughter?" Josh whispered to himself.
“Pleased to finally see you conscious.” said the girl with a straight face “You may call me Kala instead of Kaladriel.” she said while looking at Myrina.
She had long, brown and unkempt curly locks and slightly pointed ears. Her piercing brown eyes were staring coldly at Joshua while he was staring at her. Her clothes were that of a huntress’, a white sleeveless blouse which was bare at her abdomen, and a short skirt and holsters with daggers on both thighs and shoulders.

“And I’m Milhad.” said the one in glasses, smiling intently.

“Wow! You must be really excited to have a smile like that on your face. Or, you just need to go to the bathroom.” Joshua spoke to Milhad, trying to break the ice.

“Indeed I am. It is not everyday you meet the hero of Pelianor.” said Milhad, now grinning wider. “And… I have to go to the toilet.” said Milhad as he rushed out of the room.

“Cute little fella ain’t he?” chuckled Joshua to Kala, but she still kept a stern face.

“These guardians will be joining you on your quest. When you complete the task shall you return to Earth.” said Myrina.

The one called Kala had an eyebrow raised and an irritated look on her face and was trying to snob Joshua all throughout his tour of Olympus.
That evening, a grand banquet was held. Milhad sat next to Joshua and they talked about Pelianor. A million questions were swimming in his head. And set on the table were foods that seemed bizarre, like a roasted and stuffed pig-like animal with six feet and a strange purplish fruit that looked like a pineapple.

Milhad and Joshua were having fun talking and having their conversation while Kala was with her other friends, all the while staring strangely at Joshua. He looked back at her when he sensed someone watching. Then, Kala suddenly left the table. She approached her mother and Myrina stood up and proceeded with Kala to a private room.

"Hey Milhad," whispered Joshua as he leaned in closer to Milhad, "What does the weapon look like? Is it a secret?"
"I'm not sure if it's a secret. Nobody has seen the weapon in thousands of years. The need for it never came. So I guess, we'll just have to find out on the way." Milhad said. This left Joshua even more worried than before. If he couldn't find the weapon, then he wouldn't be able to return home.
"So, we're supposed to leave tomorrow right? Well, where are we off to first?" Joshua said while brushing off some cake crumbs from his shirt.
"The floating city, Aether Terranum." said Milhad casually.
"It floats? How?" Joshua asked with wide eyes.
"Oh, you'll see." Milhad bit into another chicken leg.
When Myrina and Kala came out of the room, Kala glanced at Joshua and then gave him a cold stare.

“I hope first impressions don’t become lasting ones around here.” commented Joshua after seeing Kala.

“Don’t worry Joshua. Kala is a great person once you get to know her.” Milhad said, “In fact, she is my best friend.”

“Really? How did you two become friends?” asked Joshua interestedly, “She seems so cold.”

“She’s just shy. And I think she has a thing for humans. She became my friend because she used to stick up for me when kids bullied me when I was little. She really is nice. You’ll see.” answered Milhad.

Joshua couldn’t help but stare at Kala who had now diverted her attention to her friends. He couldn’t think of a reason why she would dislike him so he tried to observe her. The whole night passed and no words were exchanged between the two.
Last edited by TreeHugger12 on Fri Mar 05, 2010 4:13 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Yay, you've posted more!

Okay, I really like the introduction of Kala here; go tough female fighters! :D Something I'd like to have more of, though, is character development and more descriptions. I'd like to get inside Joshua's head; what's he thinking, what's he observing and feeling, details like that.

Also, I'd like to have a better picture of their surroundings; that being said, I don't like overly long descriptions; I'd like to be able to picture the setting, but not have paragraphs of it (short attention span). ;)

TreeHugger12 wrote: “Wow! You must be really excited to have a smile like that on your face. Or, you just need to go to the bathroom.” Joshua spoke to Milhad, trying to break the ice.

“Indeed I am. It is not everyday you meet the hero of Pelianor.” said Milhad, now grinning wider. “And… I have to go to the toilet.” said Milhad as he rushed out of the room.


Oh man, I love this! Great job. :lol:

All right, there you go! I'm off to read the next part! :D
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I'm the kind that pays better.
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TreeHugger12 wrote:The one called Kala had an eyebrow raised and an irritated look on her face was trying to snob Joshua all throughout his tour of Olympus.

There's something missing here, or you didn't word it right, 'cause it's not making sense

Okay the chapter is good, but the dinner scene is going by a bit too fast. He's supposed to have millions of questions, but we don't see him ask any or get any more answers to where he is and what he's going to do. Normally at a banquet, it would be the perfect opportunity to tell Joshua everything, and that they don't is weird.

Except for that, everything was good for me :D
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