The Problems of Success

There are problems that come with superficial success. Successes like becoming powerful, famous, or wealthy have their consequences. For instance, if you become famous, you cannot go anywhere without people knowing you. You would live in a fishbowl in which many people you don’t know are watching every move you make.
Maybe some people like all the attention. All I know is that I certainly wouldn’t. I want to go onto Wal-Mart to buy some cookies without people all over me asking for my autograph thank you very much. Your opponents or people who hate you might even threaten you. Also, many people who become successful become full of themselves and think that there are so great and awesome that nothing can stop them. This mentality could lead to their downfall. For instance, take Tiger Woods. He became very successful at a very young age. He never really had any time to be a kid. Now, look at him. He might have ruined his life, let alone his career. There are definitely problems with success.

I wouldn't want to be famous either. It's too much pressure, and I don't like being watched. You have to think and re-think your every move. Some people as kids say they want to be famous, but in reality fame drives people insane. It forces them to become-to a certain degree- paranoid, skeptical, and conceited on many accounts. Take this question into consideration: Who would last longer? A poor drug addict, or a rich drug addict. The rich drug addict has the money to A. Buy the drug, and the money to B. Check into a rehabilation facility when they get out of hand. Money is dangerous which is why being famous-and often times when you're famous you're rich- is also dangerous. Some famous people are also very depressed, I imagine you would be depressed also if you couldn't go to the mall without being attacked by papparazi and fans. This causes some famous people to give into sucide. All together, being famous can be deadly if you don't have the mental strength to deal with the problems that come with it. I can't even handle people watching me eat in the lunchroom-which is why I don't eat at school-, so I doubt i'll be able to handle being famous.

Thanks for the comment!

-The Minister

Hey there Minister!

I love this piece and I need to congratulate you on the structure of it. It's written very well in the sens that you've kept control of your writing throughout and haven't particularly gone off on a tangent.

I also enjoyed the style of the piece, it's very personal and heavily opinionated- something generally associated with writing columns. (Which are brilliant!). It's very good you've also given us the "on-the-other-hand" viewpoint as well because if you hadn't it would've been a disaster. As you probably know it's extremely important to argue both ways.

One nitpick?

It would be with your generalisation. Even though you refer to them as "Many" and don't have the naivity to suggest "all", it does seem a little generalised.
Here's what I'm talking about:

Also, many people who become successful become full of themselves and think that there are so great and awesome that nothing can stop them.

If I were you, I'd reword this as, At times of success, some people can become full of themselves and portray a vast sense of self-pride and arrogance.
This way you sound more formal, in control and appeal to a far favourable audience as you would've cut out the feeling of it being generalised.

Anyway, this is good work so keep it up!
~Ben

Thanks Ben!

I will be sure to keep that in mind when I write more.

Thanks for commenting.

-The Minister

Message me when you put up more works.

Sure thing.

-The Minister

Please do the same for me.


Thanks, Minister