Shifters: Chapter 5

6 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 19723
Reviews 225
So here is Chapter 9! I think it was my favourite chapter to write because of the action part, but I can say that from now on there's going to be more of it!!!
Enjoy :D


Chapter 9

I killed them.

The words kept reverberating in my mind. How could Tony have killed his parents? I'd spent all night thinking about it and now the next day, I still couldn't assess it. I couldn't even concentrate in class! Me, one of the most studious people in the entire school, couldn't focus because it was aggravating me so much!

The next thing I knew, lunch break had come and I found myself sitting at my gang's usual cafeteria table, thinking. There's always been people that blame themselves for other people's death, when they actually had nothing to do with it. Maybe-

"Earth to Crys, earth to Crys" CJ banged me on the head "Come in Crys. We mere earthlings wish to speak to you."

I smacked away her hand and turned to her. "What do you want?" I barked.

She moved around the circular table and sat opposite me. "Sheesh. What's up with you?"

"Nothing"

"Doesn't sound like nothing" she spoke in a fake Texan accent. "It sounds like you need some CJ time. Oh right, you don't want CJ time." She glared at me.

"Look, I told you, I'm busy working." I'd made up that I'd gotten myself a job at a training center, so they wouldn't wonder why I never went out with them. Plus it explained why I was in better shape. Best lie ever. "I know it's cutting into our Girl's Night, but Fridays have been busy. Plus, I just started, so I get the lousy shifts." I gave a small smile. "But I'll ask for them off, just for you. Okay?"

Her face lit up slightly. "All right, all right... You're lucky I've got a soft spot for you."

"Yeah yeah, you say that to everyone" I stuck my tongue out at her playfully. Just then the rest of the gang came over, along with a very remote Tony. It was completely out of character for him to be quiet. I guessed he felt awkward about having told me about his family. He probably wouldn't want to talk about that again. Oh well.

I'll just have to get the information elsewhere.

* * *

"Say Greg, how well do you know Tony?" I asked later on in the day. After having done my French homework, Greg had told me to meet him in the gym, which I did. As per him, I was going to learn how to properly use weapons. Properly being the word that concerned me.

"That depends. You mean normally or intimately?" He grinned and then burst out laughing, as if he'd mentally pictured himself and Tony being intimate.

One of the things I'd figured out about Greg was that he was a kid at heart. Maybe a little mentally too. He loved games, playing tricks and anything else you could think of. His main priority in life was to have the most fun possible, no matter with what or who. That's why he was doing my weapons training; he loved to play with "toys".

I so had to present him to CJ.

"I meant as a guy who's spent lots of time with him... Particularly about his family."

His eyes sparkled. "So that's why! I thought it was because of..." he looked at me seriously for a second, before plastering a smile on his face. "Never mind. What do you want to know?"

I frowned but decided to not pursue the subject. "He....He told me he killed his parents."

"Just them? He didn't mention the rest?"

I gaped at him. "There's more!?"

He nodded, all sign of joy gone from his face. "He killed his entire family, except for his grandfather since he wasn't there." He eyed me thoughtfully. "Do you remember when you first shifted?" At my nod, he continued. "Your cocoon is ultimately made of Light. That's it. So when it bursts apart, your blowing away an enormous amount of Light. To Shifters, it's nothing; we have as much of it inside us. But to others, as much Dark Beings as humans, it can be fatal. Just like the Stone Hybrids you exterminated."

"Huh? I didn't kill the rhinos. Tony did."

He shook his head. "You did. You wiped them out with that blast. You couldn't have known, you were unconscious... Anyways, that's what happened to Tony. He'd just been put into danger, I'm not really sure how, and he Shifted. The one good thing was that he knew what was happening; his grandfather had been a Shifter. The bad thing was that his grandpa wasn't there to get the family out of the house when it happened. It was on the fourth of July, a day his entire family had reunited to celebrate."

I looked at him in horror. "Oh no"

He nodded. "He wiped out his entire family. His grandpa came home to find them all dead. Let me tell you, it wasn't easy to cover that up. But they did, and Burt, his grandpa, took him in for a while. He didn't stay long though, he decided to join the Masters and do his job, so he's been travelling around the world."

I listened to him, but I'd partly tuned out. He really had killed his family. I mean, he wasn't a murderer or anything, after all it hadn't been deliberate, but I felt extremely sad for him.

"Don't you dare!" I looked up to Greg in surprise. "He hates having people pity him. I told you so you wouldn't say something stupid, but don't let him catch you looking all sorry for him."

I nodded. He was right. Tony would be really angry if he thought I pitied him. So I shook my head widely, shaking away any remnant feelings about it.

"Good" Greg looked pleased, back to his usual self. "Now stop stalling, let's get to work!"

My groan echoed throughout the gym.

He ignored it, going into the small closet to collect two items. He threw a long stick, staff, whatever you call it, at me. I caught it and grabbed a hold of it with both hands, feeling and playing with the sturdy stick. Greg walked over to a radio that was installed on a nearby table and turned it on, starting up the song Mindfield from The Matrix soundtrack.

And then he came back, holding the stick in front of himself in a fighting stance. "Come at me"

I didn't need to be told twice. As I ran towards him, he blew on a piece of blond hair that had fallen out of the spiked crop. He acted as though I was not a threat.

I wasn't.

Seconds later, I was flat on my back, Greg's stick just below my chin. He, on the other hand, had barely moved, or so it seemed. He moved the stick away and extended his hand to lift me up when I grabbed it. He was smiling smugly. "Good. Never be afraid to jump into action. Now let's see what we can do with you."

* * *

For the next two weeks, I spent my time learning the use of weapons. Although very physically demanding, it was much more fun than to just train my body. But I was getting impatient to start using my powers. I'd asked Greg if we could practice that, but he'd flatly refused. "What's the use of being able to wield powers if you can't even fight as a human? Your body needs to be physically fit and your mind mentally stable to fight, and you haven't reached that point yet. When you're ready, we'll work on that."

And so I was taught the art of weapons. Wooden sticks, axes, bow and arrows, spears, whips, knives, ninja stars, staffs, darts and other lethal objects. But you also needed to know what body parts to strike. So we analyzed human anatomy and certain creature anatomies - which some of them were quite disturbing - to find weak points.

Some things we'd only gone through theoretically though, like bombing, and was I ever glad to.

Ben had educated me in how to turn any object into a potential weapon. Mostly like strings or telephone wires, anything made of glass, heavy objects, small metal objects, etc. He'd really enjoyed the lessons himself. It was kind of creepy to see him at it.

Jason had offered to teach me how to shoot a gun but I'd refused. There was just something about shooting a gun that I didn't like. You hear about too many accidents that happen with guns, I didn't want to become the next one. He'd been sorely disappointed at my rejection. He'd brought his AK-47 and rifle, along with some other gadgets that I didn't really want to know of.

Mostly though, I practiced fighting with a sword. First was the theory; what moves to make, block and so on. Then, it was how to do them in an actual fight. And afterwards, do that but faster. It was hard, and it was long.

I loved it, absolutely loved it.

It felt great, natural, to hold a sword. My hands would grip the hilt firmly, and I would direct it to do anything I wanted. Slash, block, strike, twirl, it went everywhere and anywhere. It wasn't long before my body started changing from all my training. Almost every day I would check myself out in my long bedroom mirror, wearing only a bra and underwear, to look at my changes. My arms and legs got firmer, the small flab at my hips disappeared and my belly turned flat. I was so happy that I didn't turn into Miss Muscle though. I always thought a woman with too much muscle was unattractive. And by the guys' talks, they thought so too.

So there I was, the Friday two weeks later, and almost finished my weapons' training. I was pretty sure that if I could just beat Greg with a sword, we could move on to something else. If being the main concern.

We stood in front of each other, each holding a sword of our own. We'd stopped fighting with the scabbards on our blades two days before, but we'd fought for educational purposes, not real fighting. Today, we finally would.

Greg had decided to skip warm-ups and go straight to fighting, as if I was in a real surprise attack. He had wanted to put me in the mood quickly and turned the radio onto the Mortal Kombat song. I had to admit, it worked. Songs like that really put me in the kick-butt ambience.

He charged at me. I blocked his blow and parried with my own. He dismissed it as well. We danced around the gym, exchanging stokes and shielding ourselves with the blades. We moved rapidly, searching for a moment to take offense. Finally I got an opening and aimed for his stomach. He stopped my offense quickly, but I was quicker. I raised the sword and stroked for his head.

He ducked just in time, rolling away and then slashing at my feet. I jumped, front flipped and landed on one knee behind his crouched form. He'd anticipated the move and gave a blind stroke behind himself. I placed the sword vertically just in the nick of time, meeting his stroke as it came right beside me. I held it there with all my might. I might've been faster, but he was definitely stronger.

He changed position in a flash, rotating on himself to bring his other arm in an attempted punch. I threw myself backwards, hitting the floor harshly to dodge his blow. Then I rolled on myself to give a little distance between us. He made it to me quickly, thinking he had the upper hand. That was his biggest mistake.

He brought down his sword on me as I raised mine. They clashed, and I rapidly lifted my left leg up to kick him in the stomach. The three seconds it took him to recover were all I needed. I kicked him in the face - dazing him - and then swept his legs from under him. He hit the floor hard, just as I came over top of him, the tip of the blade digging into his throat.

Realizing his defeat, he let himself slump completely on the cold floor. He was tired, sweaty and overall pleased. He opened his mouth to speak.

"What the HELL is going on here?" CJ screeched across the gym.
Last edited by Spitfire on Mon Aug 16, 2010 10:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Got a story you'd like reviewed?
topic75101.html

Punctuation is the difference between "Let's eat, Grandma" and "Let's eat Grandma".




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 30301
Reviews 770
Oh WOW!

You were right to love this chapter; it's freakin' amazing baby girl! HAHA It had me laughing and groaning and chuckling and everything. Wonderful!

This is all I found but -honestly- didn'T really notice any mistakes...I was a little busy devouring the lines, one after the other

"But I'll ask for them off, just for you. Okay?"
I think you mean 'time off'.

This is a real good chapter, the best so far, I think. I really loved it and I can't wait to find out what will happen to CJ LOL!

Love you xxx




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 6502
Reviews 59
Loved this one! I loved probably as much as you loved writing it! It was totally awesome!!! I sure hope you keep it up!
Repensum est canicula.

Veni, vidi, nates calce concidi!




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 370
Reviews 541
Another nice chapter. Only one or two things this time...

I'm concerned with the amount of time she spent training. Only 2 weeks? For someone who was apparently out of shape, unskilled in any fighting, unskilled with any weaponry, and generally unknowledgable about her whole Shifter ancestry and abilities this seems rather short. Personally, I'm a runner and it takes me a good 2 weeks to get back into shape after a break and I've been running for years. So it should take much longer for Crys, especially.

Also, swords are heavy. At the level of strength she was, she'd probably need more than 2 weeks to even get strong enough to lift a decent sword. Maybe I'm just thinking like way old fashioned swords since I've included them in an epic fantasy I'm writing, but it can't be much different here. And then once she was strong enough to lift one, she'd need a good deal of time to become skilled with one.

The only way to get around this how you have it now I think is to claim her Shifter powers seriously boosted her strenght, but even then gaining any athletic skill takes much more than two weeks.

This is all just for the reality of your story. I know it is fantasy, but it should have some aspects of reality to it for it to be believable. Reality is always key, even in fanasy.

Great job, though. I love C.J. appearing at the end, you have some great cliff hangers. Just keep in mind reality, and slowing things down. This chapter was better with slowing things down than some of the others, but any good peice of writing could always use a bit more polishing ;)

Keep writing! PM me when you have more up. :) Hope I've helped, and I hope I didn't seem too harsh!

-Lauren-
Got YWS?




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 19723
Reviews 225
Thanks for the reviews everyone, really appreciate it!

As for Lauren, it's not harsh what you said, you spoke your mind, that's all. As per Crys' abilities, I don't want to give away too much info, but there really was a reason why she could do all that already. I was actually going to talk about it in the next chapter :lol: It seems somewhat unrealistic for now, but there's a good explanation for that, you'll see...
Got a story you'd like reviewed?
topic75101.html

Punctuation is the difference between "Let's eat, Grandma" and "Let's eat Grandma".




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 30278
Reviews 482
Ah, this was great! I especially love the cliffhanger of CJ at the end!! There really wasn't much for me to nitpick on; all I can say is great job on the dialogue and the character development. I'm enjoying getting to know more about the individual guys. And I am so glad to hear that Anthony killed them all by accident; I was worried for a while!

Can't wait for the next chapter! :D
There are two kinds of folks who sit around thinking about how to kill people:
psychopaths and mystery writers.

I'm the kind that pays better.
~Rick Castle



Look closely. The beautiful may be small.
— Immanuel Kant, Philosopher