Another generic love song

Ok it's all like this ;D

I know it's simple and very basic, but when it comes to love songs, i think it's much sweeter to just write very basicly and get the point across as well as possible. I hope you can pick up a rythm to this song


Intro
I'm just a fool who fell in love
And thats all i'll ever be
And i know thats not enough
Nor will it ever be

Verse 1
But i'd go through hell for you
And sail the seven seas
Anything you want me to
Just to have you here with me

Chorus:
But i'm just a man and I can't be yours
Because you deserve much more

Verse 2
I'll love you more then love can be
Untill the day i die
And then through eternity
Even though you can't be mine

But my hearts locked in this cage
And you can set it free
But if you don't then thats okay
Yeah thats just fine with me...

Chorus aaggaiiiinnn

Bridge:
Well i know that someones watching
Is it from up or down?
And i know that someones listening
And they can hear me now
So i'll pour my heart into a song that goes alot like this
Just in the hopes that maybe you would spare me one short kiss


Ending/outro (verse reprise):
I'm just a fool who fell in love
And thats all i'll ever be
And i know thats not enough
And that you don't love me

Hey! Welcome to YWS!
Whoa, I really likes this! Just a few nitpicks;
a) there were no capital i's
b) The chorus was a bit lacking. Maybe say that it should be repeated?
c) I didn't really pick up on the beat, just enough to get me through.
Overall, this was brill! Certainly something I'd download, keep at it!

~Durr

Hey there, welcome to YWS! I hope you like the site so far.

This song was a bit cliche. Like we've heard it all before kinda deal. But the words are still good. The chorus is a bit small, so I actually love the verses more than the chorus. Maybe you could convert one of the verses into a chorus. I also like how you repeated the first verse at the end, but changed it. That was very creative. Keep working on it and it could be a really sweet song.

Chrissie

Yeah, some of the lyrics actually made me cringe abit while writing it since they were so cliche, but i couldnt really botherd to change them. I'd have liked to change the begging of the second verse to this though;

"Throw a dime in a wishing well
And whisper all my dreams
But i know my love to well
And i know she won't love me"