The Unfamiliars

This is the flash fiction I wrote for the second contest of the Writer's Olympics. It's a story about a zombie invasion and how the people of the town is affected by it.

The Unfamiliars
Written by Efrain Hernandez

Widow Woods is a small town in a woody isolation that had quickly grown in just a day with an astonishing and unfamiliar population. Such “unfamiliars” was thought of by townsfolk as harmful and malignant. Most alarming of all, no soul could clarify what was going on or to how a rush of population was occurring in just an hour. “Unfamiliars” could find Widow Woods in all ways: though Widow Wood’s thorny North Hills to its south-bound rocky woods. But watching “unfamiliars” talk amongst various townsfolk by snapping gums and jaws was a pain only a townsman could think of. Widow Woods did not warm up to its visitors and found no comfort in wishing for a short stay. Mayor Solomon was untrusting to all that was unusual to him and thought it smart to affirm all townsfolk in staying indoors, shutting all windows and doors and waiting until its growth had found control. Solomon could admit a shock to all “unfamiliars” and just as unusually would distinguish no soul in any visitor. Knowing how frightful such a sight was to any man and wanting to halt any coming arrival, Solomon thought of a first try to talk with an “unfamiliar” but in turn found no warmth in its confusion. It’s “chat” was a blab and a drawl in a fashion that Solomon could not fathom.
“What do you want with us? Talk!” Trusting his instincts to what was fact and straightforward, Solomon’s ask was faithful to all of Widow Wood’s agitation. That “unfamiliar” whom Solomon had put all of his optimism and anticipation in, only had a grin as bloody as a raw brain.
A final antiphon had put Solomon on his back, turning and twisting wildly with a bloody gap in his throat. Instantly all “unfamiliars” was filling Widow Woods with chaos and panic, hungrily looking for any and all to attack. It was instinct not provocation that was cracking in townsfolk’s skulls; it was “unfamiliars” who had no say but to munch and rot as passing hours was turning into Widow Wood’s agonizing infinity.

Hello, I'm Peanut.

Okay, so this story kept me reading. I loved the word choice and the way you described everything vividly. I myself have never written a flash fiction story before, but if I ever do, I hope it reads somewhat like yours.

Now onto my critiques;

Mayor Solomon was untrusting to all that was unusual to him and thought it smart to affirm all townsfolk in staying indoors, shutting all windows and doors and waiting until its growth had found control.

Perhaps instead of "untrusting" (which may or may not be an actual word...) you should replace it with "distrusting". They mean the same thing except Spell Check seems to like it much better XD

Also, I thought there was a tiny mistake here;
"to affirm all townsfolk in staying indoors, shutting all windows and doors [comma] and waiting until its growth had found control."

Instantly all “unfamiliars” was filling Widow Woods with chaos and panic

"Was" should be "were".

Other than that, I loved it. Science fiction can be hard to pull off with minimum cliches, but you managed it, probably due to the original description. I could only find minor grammar errors! Cool!

Good luck in the Olympics!
~Peanut

Thanks, I really wish I could add that in but in the contest we could not use any letters e's.