My Pale December

I'd like to say in advance that I thank Bloc Party (the song "Signs" in particular) for giving me inspiration. . enjoy

Your tongue,
is a like a new born cherry.
It sprouts
and bursts around mine.

Your skin,
my pale December.

Your body,
intertwines with mine
under the moons cycloptic eye.

Your voice,
is like a firecracker
that booms in the night.

Your eyes,
unbelievable.

Your love,
stretches farther than forever.
Oh,
my pale December.

I listened to that song, and a big thank you for putting it on here. I don't enjoy when people don't tell me what the song is. Sometimes hearing the inspiration while you read the piece it inspired, it makes it better, and it really does. The biggest problem I found in this piece was that it was short. I'd love to see it a little longer, because right now it feels kinda short and unfinished. Even a full extra stanza to describe each part of December could add so much meaning to it, even though it has plenty already.

Keep it up, and have a lucky day!

hey i'm kelly and i will totally be reviewing this pretty epic poem.

okay, so to start: I like this poem. "is a like a new born cherry..." i think the first "a" is a grammar mistake. The part about "your voice..." is very nice and descriptive. However, the next stanza is a little short, and it throws off the beat/rhythm of the poem.

From the sound of the other review, i guess that "pale December" is something interesting, but i don't get it. I think it's a boy, but.. maybe its really a month, that... someone... likes...?