The Amazing Talking Tree

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Note: This story is based on a writing prompt. While I could have description in the beginning of the story, the rest on the story had to be a dialogue between a human and an inanimate object.

The boy trudged slowly along the country lane, kicking at the hard ground as he walked. Every time his torn sneakers kicked, a small cloud of dust rose into the air. The only thing he carried was a book with a worn cover.
“Why did my parents have to leave the city? All my friends are there. Nobody else lives near the farm. I have nothing to do and I am lonely."
The field he was passing seemed to go on forever. His father had plowed it last week and it looked like a mess, just mounds of unsettled dirt; his father hoping to get the corn growing shortly. There was nothing, except for a single apple tree at the far end of the field.
The boy had been outside all morning. The red sky in the morning had changed into a brilliant blue, nothing like the sky he was used to in the city. On most days the sky could not be seen; a thick smog made it practically invisible.
Since his parents did not have to worry about strangers abducting their son, they allowed him to wander freely about the farm. At least they granted him this freedom. Yet he wished that he had just one friend.
He looked once again to the apple tree. Maybe he could find some apples. He would sit in the shade of the tree for a while and read his book.
He headed across the field to the tree, trying not to trip over the mounds of dirt.
He stopped in his tracks when he was close to the apple tree. He heard what sounded like a boy crying.
"I must be imaging things," the boy thought, because the crying had stopped. He bent down and picked up an apple. It was ripe, with no worm holes in it. Biting into it, he sat down with his back against the tree's trunk. The crying started again.
The boy jumped up. "Who is crying?" the boy asked. "I can hear you, but I cannot see you."
"I'm crying," a voice answered.
"Where are you?"
"You are sitting right under me, eating my apples."
"Far out, a talking tree! Is this an enchanted mystical farm, or something?"
"All trees talk. It is just some humans cannot hear us."
"Why are you crying?"
"Nobody needs me."
"Look at this apple I am eating. You gave it to me when I am hungry. If it was not for you, I would not be able to eat apple pie; my mom makes the best in the world. Plus, the shade you are providing helps me keep cool. I need you."
"Really? You would like to be my friend?"
"Yes. I need a friend."
"Would you like me to tell you stories? I have so many to share."
"Yes. I can even tell you stories. I can come down every day and read to you."
"I would love that. I want you to be my friend."
"Best friends forever."




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I liked this, it has a fresh, interesting flow to it :D

Just a few suggestions...

I have nothing to do and I am lonely.
I don't really think a boy (no matter what age) would say "I am lonely." especially the 'I am' part. But of course, still wanting to get this feeling across, you could show or tell that he's lonely in some other way- I'll give you the fun of figuring out exactly which way :). You do it a few more times, 'cannot' and 'was not'. Boys (as far as I can judge) will almost always use contractions (can't, I'm, you're) when they open their mouths, especially when they're talking to themselves, I'd imagine.

Also, I think you could have the boy show a little more surprise when the tree starts talking to him, make him believe he's dreaming or hallucinating, really make it hard for him to believe the tree can talk- because, well, wouldn't you? and I think you could have the tree give a little more of it's history, why it's crying- etc... etc... Perhaps the people who used to live there had a little kid who used to climb in the tree and tell it stories just like your MC is doing- maybe the kid fell out of the tree and broke her/his arm- really make it tragic :)

All in all, I love the story line, keep writing!

~Mel
"Don't say 'the old lady screamed'- bring her on and let her scream." -Mark Twain

Writing is like traveling- you never know what's going to happen until you get there.




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"Far out, a talking tree! Is this an enchanted mystical farm, or something?"

So forced. Completely unnatural unless the kid is a 1960's hippie. Usually a more stunned reaction exists, and besides if he can hear trees speak... which is also suspect, how come he never seen one in the city or its parks?

A good idea, expand upon it if you wish.




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Wow, that's very sweet. It reminds me of the book The Giving Tree. I hope I hear more from you! :mrgreen:
What the heck does WTH mean?!




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Another part of the prompt was to use a word like farout or groovy. My favorite is Awesome. As for contractions, I was told it is better to write the two words. Maybe I was told wrong.




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I read the Giving Tree too. I really liked it.




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Writing the two words instead of the contraction in description or other wise is all fine and dandy, and does make the work look more professional in the long run, but in dialogue -in this century at least, in boys at least- it is more natural to use the contractions :D

Never read the giving tree :smt002

~Mel
"Don't say 'the old lady screamed'- bring her on and let her scream." -Mark Twain

Writing is like traveling- you never know what's going to happen until you get there.




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The boy trudged slowly along the country lane, kicking at the hard ground as he walked. Every time his torn sneakers kicked, a small cloud of dust rose into the air. The only thing he carried was a book with a worn cover.

“Why did my parents have to leave the city? All my friends are there. Nobody else lives near the farm. I have nothing to do and I am lonely."

The field he was passing seemed to go on forever. His father had plowed it last week and it looked like a mess, just mounds of unsettled dirt; his father hoping to get the corn growing shortly. There was nothing, except for a single apple tree at the far end of the field.

The boy had been outside all morning. The red sky in the morning had changed into a brilliant blue, nothing like the sky he was used to in the city. On most days the sky could not be seen; a thick smog made it practically invisible.





I love these first couple of paragraphs! I can really visualize the scenery. The way you describe the field I felt like I could smell the fresh dirt.

This was really good. Thank you so much for sharing this! Like someone said before it reminded me of The Giving Tree. I loved that book as a child.



A person is a fool to become a writer. His only compensation is absolute freedom. He has no master except his own soul, and that, I am sure, is why he does it.
— Roald Dahl