Our Own Private Betrayal

What is a phone call?
What is a letter?
What is an email?
What are these things?
They are what separate us.
So little,
but to you,
so much.
Too much.

This is a really thoughtful, subtle poem. I had to think about it quite a bit, and I guess people could get different meanings out of it, which I love. It's like there is so much more that could be said, so much more to the situation, but you leave it open for the reader to gather whatever they want from it. I like the way it ends as well, it's so final. I can't find anything bad to say about this, but I have said why it's good, so I hope that's helpful in some way!

Hi Conrad. I don't have much to say, because this was really, really good. This poem is one of those cases where I think description would ruin the piece. Without it, the words are subtle, and come across with a punch. This poem is not meant for imagery. It's all just thought. Thought that is very controversial, and makes me think a lot. Really, why don't we just talk to face to face? I'm not sure I agree with the overall message, because these technologies help a lot, but I do agree that we shoudn't depend on them. Anyway, I'm giving this a thumbs-up.

Au Revior,
Elinor

Nice ironic twist, reminds me a of a line from the song In Thee: "Airplanes make strangers of us all, they give us distance much too easily"

The flow is just a bit choppy near the end though

This poem really makes me stop and think. It seems in this mordern day and age we hardly ever sit down and talk anymore. I love how you leave the poem open to one's own opinions. I can give no advice, because really there is nothing that needs to be improved. Great Job.

This is such an awesome little poem, Connie. I like short poems because they're quick to memorize and then you can remember them easily at times when you might need some words to encourage yourself.

It's alright the way it is -- the message certainly is clear, and a good one. Considering it, though, I also wouldn't mind, and personally would like better if it lacked some of the repetition of question words -- maybe saying just "a letter? an email?". I would perhaps fiddle with the arrangement of those questions.

Also, I think putting a line break before "Too much" might add some emphasis to the line and let it linger more with the reader.

"So little,
but to you,
so much.

Too much."

But really, I liked the poem, and I'm just trying to fiddle with it in my head and see how editing could strengthen it. Hopefully my rambling helps you in some way! XD

Long time, no review,

<3 Clo