Pandora

Yeah yeah, most people might know by now I'm a big Avatar fan! I just wrote this in my citizenship lesson after i finished my work.

I stared at the tall tree coated in thick green moss. It was my only escape and if I couldn’t get up there, I would die… The soft pad of paws on the forest floor behind me startled me, making me squeak. I decided that my only way of escape was up the tree, I began to move towards it. Firmly, I gripped the tree with both my hands and wrapped my legs around. Pull! I thought, and I pulled myself up with my arms, grimacing in pain as I pulled myself up again. The moss was making it harder, but it was a good job that I had sharp nails. Stopping for a breath, I glanced around me, thick green trees clouding my sight. I could not see beyond them. Tropical flowers, trees and grasses covered the forest floor.
‘New to me,’ I whimpered to myself.
I squealed as I heard the Thanator growl beneath me angrily, scratching the bottom of the tree and shredding the bark. Pandora was no place for me, I was just a simple experiment; if they pulled me out of that link chamber my avatar would be as good as dead. The Na’vi had been with me, and I watched as I saw them die one by one, killed helplessly by humans. And I myself was a human, well… in spirit. What where the RDA thinking trying to get me to make friends with the Na’vi? They were insane! The Na’vi was vicious ten feet tall blue people with a knack for wanting to kill me. Yeah, I had four fingers and one thumb on each hand and they had three fingers and one thumb. But what was the difference? Just because I was not original they couldn’t accept me.
If I can make it to the top of this tree before they pull me out, I thought to myself as I pulled myself up once more. Then I’ll be safe…‘Na’vi!’ I heard a voice from up above me. The sound of a helicopter made me look up. Startled, I saw men pointing their guns right at me!
‘Wait!’ I screeched. ‘I’m human!’
‘Sammy?’ Somebody said from the helicopter. A man pulled his gun down and nodded to the driver.
SCREECH. The Thanator was seriously mad at me… I wasn’t going to let it eat me. No way.


I'm going to right some more up at home later... tell me what you think.

Hi PenNPaper here to review!
Nice going with this, I liked it.

nodded to the driver.

Driver? Maybe pilot if you wanted it to be an helicopter.
Okay this story was short, but good. Though if you said the trees covered your sight, how would you be able to see the helicopter then?

my avatar

I do not quite get exactly what you mean by the term avatar...
Well that's all, good luck and keep writing!

it helps if you've seen the film 'Avatar'. an avatar is a man made being made by scientists... i guess i should mention that in my full version. :-/

First off, since this is based off of a another piece of work. This would be better suited for the FanFiction Forum.

The moss was making it harder, but it was a good job that I had sharp nails.

I think you mean good thing.

thick green trees clouding my sight

. Be more descriptive then green. You already used it to describe the moss.

I could not see beyond them. Tropical flowers, trees and grasses covered the forest floor.

You could be more descriptive here as well. Colors, shapes, etc.

I squealed as I heard the Thanator growl beneath me angrily, scratching the bottom of the tree and shredding the bark.

Can't remember which one that is. You should describe. For someone that hasn't seen the movie or for those who don't remember it would be nice to describe it.

The Na’vi had been with me, and I watched as I saw them die one by one, killed helplessly by humans. And I myself was a human, well… in spirit.

I don't get what you mean.

Well this was a good start. Pandora is a very visual place because of that you'll have to add a lot more description. Other than that I'd say it's a good for the length of the piece.

Hello iCarlyfan!

I really loved the film Avatar, and I assume as you are going to write more of this that it will have something before this moment, because for people who havn't seen the film this may get extremely confusing. I also think that you should move this to the Fanfiction because it's already been created by someone and you are just using the characters. I think everyone else got in the nit-picks so I will just say that I liked this, Well Done. Good luck with writing more.

Keep Writing
~Lydia

i know it's fan fiction but it's not got any of the characters from the film in it. and this was just a quick thing i did in my citizenship lesson today on the computer for fun.