bigger meanings - prologue

I think this is a very good start. What i would like to note has already been noted before, in the other critiques. Continue with this. The way you wrote it is cool. Hard to explain, but it seems to flow, and it's comfortable read. (If that didn't make sense, it's okay.) Love it.

thanks, yes it makes sense! i try to make my stories easy to read, i love the tolkien style but its just so darn hard to read, soo, i make mine, or try to, easier on the mind.

Hey there, here I am as requested!

Everyone else has already addressed the nitpicks I would have mentioned, so the only thing I can really add is definitely show us more than tell (although you can get away with telling us in the prologue) and make sure that your story doesn't get too clichéd. With this being a prologue, there's not much for me to pick on about the story line just yet. I do like the character's tone, and I'm looking forward to seeing what situations you put her in, so that we can get to know her better.

This part stuck out to me:

Wolfdaemon wrote: I am a normal fifteen year old high schooler.
I want to remain a normal high school girl.

It's repetitive, saying "normal...high schooler" and then "normal high school..." I'm not sure whether this was what you wanted, to have that almost deliberate repetition, but if that's not what you were going for, then you should change it; you could even merge the two sentences by going, "I am a normal fifteen year old high schooler, and that is how I hope to remain." or something along those lines.

Anyways, good work, I'm looking forward to seeing where you take this!

ahha! thanks, i needed a fresh eye for this piece i am a little scared to post my next piece, hahaha, i am afraid it might not be as "intriguing" as this one! i am working on it.

I really like your first chapter, but I think this prologue needs some work (or just totally elliminate it from your story...you don't need it. ) Either way, just sort of finding a way to get rid of the "teenage angst" feel and stuff will help.

Eh, it was ok. It was interesting, but not that interesting. Basically, you said one thing over and over: we are ment for something more.

I liked the fact that the mc was very straight forward, and said exactly what's what. Sometimes writers try to beat around the bush to "show" rather than "tell", but a lot of times it's just more confusing and takes up a lot of extra space that is needed. If you were to try to incorporate this into your story and not have the mc talk directly to the reader, i don't think it would have been as intriguing.

Lol, gosh i havent read this in forever! i forgot all about posting it! Jensen has changed so much, lol, thanks for commenting ;P i am on the second draft of the novel, ugh, i didnt like how the first one turned out.
talk to ya soon!

I, too, don't know wether Jenson is a boy or girl. I also agree that you are just rephrasing the idea that Jenson is going to have something life changing later on in the story, and I look forward to reading that. Remember the punctuation as other(s) have already pointed out. Everything I really saw wrong with it has already been covered

This story has changed SOO much, i just dont know how to take this off of here XD