X

3 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 370
Reviews 541
Thanks to everyone who reviewed! This is currently being rewritten.
Got YWS?




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1408
Reviews 3
At first I thought that Natura's name was Naruto, HAHAHAHA Ignore that anyway so.....critique time. I really think that this is good, I mean it is short and has a few grammer mistakes but still I really liked it. Nice names to....very different!




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 30411
Reviews 771
Hey Lauren,

Great Chapter! I'm really enjoying this lovely tale so far. As far as 'grammar' mistakes, I only noticed one:

The conversation didn’t help to keep the nightmare at bat.
Um, I think you mean at 'bay'? ;)


That's it for now, it was excellent, I'm going to the next!! :D

Tanya



This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much all of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper, which was odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.
— Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy