First Sory-- Part 11

She noticed how quiet it was. No thunder rolled from the ominous dark clouds in the sky, and nobody talked or laughed. Her ears buzzed, as ears do in complete silence. Then, time started again. Cars zoomed, music blared, and the sudden rush of sound made Sara dizzy.
She started running back to the school, but suddenly, she was there. She had gone from being a mile away to being next to Nerezza.
“Imagine,” Nerezza said softly, “That if I can do all this with no effort at all, what I can do to your world.” She finished, waving her hands at the destruction. Sara was confused.
“How did I get here?” She asked. Nerezza smiled sadly.
“I summoned you.”
“Oh.” Sara replied. “What are you?” she asked. Nerezza’s face twisted back to its normal, emotionless look.
“Little girl, you are up to your ears in dangerous water. The less you know, the safer you are.” She said.
“But…” Sara complained.
“DO NOT TEST ME, CHILD!” Nerezza said. “If you had any conception of what I am, then you would never question my actions. My power is a curse, not a blessing. If you were not so important, I would have killed you long ago.” Sara stepped back, frightened.
“I am not your friend. If you wish to be as I am, you must realize your sacrifice. I see no life, no joy. Like a black and white photograph. The world will be at your fingertips, but what does it mean without color?” Nerezza asked. Sara began to cry.
“You have spent your whole life in the sunlight. Eternal darkness is a large price to pay.” Nerezza sighed. “You play a bigger part in this game than anyone else, Saraphina. If I lose you, the game is over. I wish for you to be more careful. Right now, it is a chore for me not to kill you. Do not upset me, and then, perhaps, we can win the game.”
“What is the game?” Sara asked.
“Life.” Nerezza answered, and disappeared.
I came far too close today. It is lucky indeed that plants do not have souls, or I might not have been able to stop. Soon, I shall tell Saraphina of the role she must play, for soon, I will lose all control over myself.




oh good. the font color's working again.

Can I get some reviews? All the other parts are just a few pages back, and the link to part one is in my sig.

Please? Just one review????????

Come on! just one measly review!

Hey Dreamy. Sorry it's taking a while; I usually don't have access to a computer. The only thing I had was this:

“DO NOT TEST ME, CHILD!” Nerezza said.

First off, you don't need caps. Secondly, instead of "said," have her yell, scream, shriek, or something, because it's obvious that's what you want her to do.

“Little girl, you are up to your ears in dangerous water. The less you know, the safer you are.” She said.
“But…” Sara complained.

For things like this, you can eliminate the he said/she said:

“Little girl, you are up to your ears in dangerous water. The less you know, the safer you are.”
“But…”

I came far too close today. It is lucky indeed that plants do not have souls, or I might not have been able to stop. Soon, I shall tell Saraphina of the role she must play, for soon, I will lose all control over myself.


Nice cliff hanger. That's all I got for now. Keep posting. I like where this is going.

*Seraph*

Thankee!

Np. I'm glad to help.