sad

she looked in his eyes with the greatest affection,
and for once she thought her life defined perfection...
he never knew how much she cared...
since her feelings were left unshared...
she dreamt,thoughts and sometimes cried,
he never got how hard she tried.
she knew she wouldn't see those eyes any more
the happiness vanished,which in her heart she bore..

Hello. Nice to meet ya. I'm Nixie by the way. Welcome here. You should really go on and try to review other people's works. It's an excellent way to meet people, learn a few things, and get other people to review your works too.

Alright, first of all, kudos to rhyming. I love rhyming poems, personally. A lot of people don't. Rhymes are restricting and sometimes, the whole flow and message of a poem is disrupted when one forces a rhyme into it. Take care of that. The importance of a poem lies in its message and if rhyming will hurt that, drop the rhyme.

You've also got to learn to punctuate properly. The ellipses aren't helping. It... really disrupts... the... flow of... thought. See what I mean? Punctuate your poetry the same way you punctuate your sentences. This isn't true in all instances, of course. Punctuation can be used stylistically as well. But for now, while you haven't gotten the hang of making your poem flow well, punctuate properly, just like in English class.

Now, I do believe this poem has potential. Your words have heart and that's the makings of good poetry. You just have to polish this up a bit, but you've got great raw material. It's also really great to just see an honest to goodness poem about young love but there are some ways to make this more effective to carry your message (and emotion) across more clearly.

Anyway, good luck on your writing. PM me for absolutely anything. Smile, my friend.

Okay, Hi there!
Good start no? XD

Anyway, the poem!
My first suggestion is to get rid of these "..." they're heart breakers for fluency. If you want someone to dwell on the thought of something, adapt the tone of the poem.
If you don't know what I mean have a look at the 6th line of a poem called He Wished for the Cloths Of Heaven - by William Butler Yeats. There's a good, strong example of poetry structuring in his works.
As for your rhyming scheme, I like it. I think if you want to give it more a punch in the meaning sector, you'll need to mess up the rhyming scheme a little to give it a bit of originality. I don't believe that dropping a rhyme scheme is a good thing. Generally.
Okay the plus points! My favourite bit
I love the colourful choice of vocabulary you have selected to paint us a few fragments of vivid imagery, it improves narration as well as sealing in that message. I also think it's length is just right to deliver that impact. So well done.

Keep at it,
Ben