Shifters: Chapter 2 part 2

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Okay! So here we are, with the chapter that'll finally answer questions you've probably wanted to know.
Enjoy :D



Chapter 4

“I can’t believe you bought my grandmother’s house.” I stated, walking and glancing around the den. Once we’d gotten out of the bedroom, we’d made our way down the hallway and stairs, towards the den, passing several rooms and bathrooms, the kitchen, the office/library and the living room on the way. It hadn’t taken me long to recognize the old Victorian style mansion as Nana’s old home, I’d been in the mansion so many times, I knew it inside out, despite the many changes they’d done to the place.

Anthony and his three friends – another one had come to join the party – had bought the house two months ago and moved in little more than a week ago. Funny that of all the homes in Canada, they chose the one mansion in Quebec that I loved and wanted more than anything. Coincidence, right? I laughed to myself. Even I wasn’t that gullible.

I looked around the small room. They’d definitely made it more modern, since Nana’s furnishings had been prehistoric, in my opinion. Now it had two large L shaped sofas making a sort of square contour in the center of the room. A cube table stood in the middle of the sofas. Still walking around, I paused to look at the hung pictures, to skim my fingertips over the grey stone of the old fireplace, ignore the ugly yellowish-green lazy-boy and admire the candlelight chandelier that they’d kept. It didn’t fit with the rest, but who cared? It was gorgeous.

Finally, I turned back to the four pairs of eyes watching me. The closest pair, of dark chestnut color while hidden behind black glasses, belonged to the guy named Ben. In his early twenties, he was tall, broad shouldered and muscular, had jet black hair, a pale skin tone and a hint of Asian ancestry. Although physically fit – and good looking – he was the very definition of what a genius would look like, in my mind, anyway.

I looked off from him, to pause at the guy sitting comfortably in the lazy-boy. His name was Jason. In his thirties, he had really short brown hair, piercing green eyes, some whiskers on his well-framed face and the sexiest Scottish accent I’d ever heard. He looked to be in good shape, was tall and ruggedly handsome.

The other guy, Greg, was fidgeting on the sofa with a Rubik’s cube, his tongue sticking out in concentration. He was about my age, no older than twenty, for sure. He had a boyish charm to him with his blond spiked hair and navy blue eyes. And – what a surprise – he was in really, really good shape. He was only wearing a pair of sweatpants, showing a very nice six pack. I’d love to just-

“Crys?” Anthony called, taking me out of my daydream. He sat himself on the sofa opposite from Greg. “Come an’ sit.” He patted beside him. I did, although not as close as he’d indicated.

“So tell me…what is going on? If you tell me that that was some visual effects though, I might just strangle you.” I said it in a mocking tone but we all knew I was only partly kidding… Okay, not at all. “What was that thing? And what are you?” I pressed.

“You mean we.” Jason stated.

“No, there is no we. There’s you,” I pointed a finger to them, “and then there’s me,” I pointed to myself, “caught in the middle of your… problems.”

“Oh believe me,” Ben said “you are in this as much as we are. You just don’t know it yet.”

“Well since I don’t have to believe you, I’m inclined to say I don’t give a – “

“Okay, okay. Enough!” Anthony commanded when I was about to add something again. Clearing his throat, he focused solely on me. “Listen, I’m going to tell you everything you need to know, from the beginning. Some things might be hard to trust us on, but I want you to hear what I’ve got to say. Then we can answer any questions you might have.”

“But – “

“No buts! Just listen, all right?” After I gave a curt nod, he glanced to the others, who nodded their agreement as well. Then he began. “We are part of an…organization, put it that way, that has existed since before the thirteenth century –“

“Twelfth, actually” Ben cut in.

“Whatever… it’s been up and about for a while, there, happy?” He glarred at Ben, who smiled at his anger. “Now, as I was saying, the goal of the organization is to employ people with specific…gifts to help keep the world safe. You know, the kind of SAVE THE WORLD missions. Among the organization, we are known as the Galäbriel Knights. To outsiders, we are Shifters. Although most demons refer to us by other very barbaric names.” All four guys cracked a smile, remembering something. “I guess ability isn’t quite the right word. ‘Powers’ suits better. We have the ability to shift our body’s reality into another one, hence Shifters. We still don’t know what the other reality is and I honestly don’t give a shit.”

He gestured up and down his body. “Like this, we’re your average Joe. But when we Shift, we can harvest Light into weapons to help us defeat evil.” He let out a sigh. “I know this might sound unreal, but it’s the truth. The entire planet is consisted of Light and Dark. Think of it as the Ying and Yang or Good and Evil, it’s basically that. It’s everywhere and in everything, from objects to people and so on. Humans contain both the Light and the Dark inside their bodies. When we Shift, we can see their essence. It kind of looks like their shape is glowing in yellow or black. I can’t really explain it; you’d have to see it. Anyways, humans are born with a balance of both sides. However, depending on how good or bad a person you are, the more you tend towards one of the two and eventually your essence has more weight on one side. It’s really complicated, I know, but eventually you’ll understand. For creatures though, it’s completely different. You are either born a Light Dweller or a Dark one. There have been some exceptions, but it’s still almost impossible to switch sides. You’d have to have a radical change and completely abandon yourself to the other side, which would be hard for anybody to change so much in their heart and mind.

So that’s what we are. We are Light beings, who use their powers to save people and stop those TAKE OVER THE WORLD plots.” He bent and took the can of 7up to drink.

“Being a Shifter is hereditary.” Ben shared.”It is passed down by family members for centuries, although we can never know who will get it. Some people have died because it was only their great grandson who gained their abilities. Once a Shifter awakens is powers, which is usually in puberty, his ancestor loses his powers and in consequence becomes a Council member.

The Council is like our government; they make the major decisions. Since they have all been Shifters once before, they know how things work. We get all information from them: where there have been sittings, plots being made and other boring stuff like that. Anyways… you don’t really need to know all this. We need to know who your Shifter ancestor is. Anyone come to mind?” He asked.

“Nope. My last relative was my maternal grandmother, Nana. And then my parents, but they’re just doctors. I’ve seen their schedules before, they wouldn’t have time to go and play hero.”

“We don’t play!” Greg interrupted.

“It was a figure of speech.”

“But that’s not what really matters right now.” Anthony added brusquely. “What’s important is to figure out what you are.”

Now this, I couldn’t believe. “Me? Weren’t you just trying to convince me I was a Shifter?”

“In normal circumstances we would, yes.” He stated. “There’s just one problem; in over 700 years, there has never been any females among us.”
Last edited by Spitfire on Mon Aug 16, 2010 10:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Punctuation is the difference between "Let's eat, Grandma" and "Let's eat Grandma".




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Yay, I got quite lucky clicking the new posts button right when you posted this. As you said I did feel as if this chapter bridged the gap. I was kind of confused as to where the story was going and the little bit of plot it had was starting to become very dull. The fact that you revived the plot makes me happy. This chapter gave me renewed interest in the story and now I want more information on this plot.

At first I was kind of like oh wow light vs dark kind of dumb, but I was set in my place and now I am not disappointed. I tend to find this happens very often to me, I will feel confused or find a section to be a bit lame and then as I continue reading it gets better. One thing that I thought as reading was a VERY SLIGHT resemblance to twilight series in the whole ancestry thing. It reminded me of the werewolves. PLEASE do not think I am accusing you of making something similar because I hate it when people compare my writing to something/someone else. Just thought I would make that known.

Nice job on the chapter,

~DayDreams

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Wow, you left me breathless. But somehow, it seemed quite short. I'm not really good at reviewing or critiquing or that stuff but, I think I know enough to say that this is great. But the light versus dark was a bit cliche. >.<
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Crap! Suz, now you'll have to send it to me before everyone else...LOL *I'll get here before you next time, Daydreamer*... lol

Suz, I love this chapter. Because I read your notes before you actually writing this, not much so far has surprised me...Except your talent. Then again, I already knew you were good; it was you who doubted. BUT I was surprised by the ending. Hadn't seen that coming...Yay! Love you xxx




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Nice chapter! You definitely cleared a lot of things up. There are just a few items I would like to address.

Once we’d gotten out of the bedroom, we’d made our way down the hallway and stairs, towards the den, passing several rooms and bathrooms, the kitchen, the office/library and the living room on the way.


All this listing isn't necessary. It is really easy to lose a reader in unimportant lists of things. Instead of the list just mention they had since moved through the house, or something of the sort.

Be careful with those characters of yours. All of the guys seem to have very good looks and from this point only seem to differ slightly (though, they weren't mentioned much so I didn't get a great look at them yet). Make sure they aren't all the same guy with only slight differences. Make sure they have their own personalities and likes and dislikes and habits and such. It's easy to let your characters all start acting the same, I know, but it is more fun to read a story with differing characters ;)

This whole light v dark, saving the world missions thing is bordering cliche. It is just something you'll have to watch out for. Get your own spin on things and make it your own. I have faith that you can do that quite well ;)

Fantastic twist there at the end! A great hook to the end of the chapter. I'm pumped to see where it goes!

Good job! I can't wait to see more of this! Keep writing!

-Lauren
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Heyhey! Good chapter, I liked it. Most of what I would've mentioned has already been said, about the guys all being perfect and such.

Coincidence, right? I laughed to myself. Even I wasn’t that gullible.


Okay, I guess I'm gullible or naive, since I don't know exactly what you mean by this here.

The closest pair, of dark chestnut color while hidden behind black glasses, belonged to the guy named Ben.

"That were" or something else in place of the red text.

I looked off from him, to pause at the guy sitting comfortably in the lazy-boy.

This sounds really awkward; I think you could reword this.

“We are part of an…organization, put it that way, that has existed since before the thirteenth century –“

“Twelfth, actually” Ben cut in.

“Whatever… it’s been up and about for a while, there, happy?” He glarred at Ben, who smiled at his anger.


I love this whole exchange! :D

“Being a Shifter is hereditary.” Ben shared.


“There’s just one problem; in over 700 years, there has never been any females among us.”


Okay, with these two parts, wouldn't there need to be a female to make it hereditary? Or is it just passed down from the males?


Looking forward to the next chapter! :D
There are two kinds of folks who sit around thinking about how to kill people:
psychopaths and mystery writers.

I'm the kind that pays better.
~Rick Castle



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