He found loosened bricks and secretly (discretely) pulled them out.
He ran up the stairs and went up as far as he could. When did he get up from the table?
Just then, he heard the screeching of some bats in the house he had built for them.Who had built the house?
Jackson was just like any other orphan. He had lost his family in a car accident when he was only three years old.I seriously doubt every other orphan had lost his family to a car accident, so get rid of that first line, in my opinion. I also agree with LittlePetRock that should be taken out. But expand your ideas a little bit. This is a lot like other stories, such as Logan's Run, but not in the future. I stil like the story, don't get me wrong, but you can improve.
