Friendship War

It’s too hard for me to forgive and forget
I can’t trust anyone, I’ve learned this the hard way
getting pushed around and stepped all over
story of my life
and I’m done with it
I’m taking control
I know I’m too protective
But I’m not letting the same thing
that happened to me, happen to them
I don’t care, how you live your life
I watch silently
Waiting
To come to your aid.
Because I assure you , you will need it
I don’t care if you want my help or not
Life’s short, Live it to your fullest
That’s my motto
don’t let those imposters pull you down
you say I don’t live up to my actions, you try it sometime
You turn against me
Go to their side, go ahead, take their side, go ahead
I’m not the one making the wrong decision
They’re full of lies
They’re fake , artificial
If you don’t believe me
Fine
I don’t need your help to get through this
Your decision, your life
My decision, my life
Pull me down further
And feel my pain
Feel the betrayal
Witness the treachery
No loyalty exists here
It’s a competition
To see who is better
To see who meets the expectations
It’s not true friendship
More like a war
don’t come crying to me when you see the truth
I tried warning you
Tried to save you
But I was ignored
You sat there and said
I will always be there for you
I will always be your best friend
And I believed you
The worst mistake I could have ever made
But that was then
And this is now
I’ve looked back and asked myself
What went wrong?
And now I know
You ask me
Why aren’t we friends anymore?
And I look you in the eyes and say
Really?
I have new friends now
Ones who actually care about me
And it happens all over again.
But this time I’m the onlooker
The observer, the spectator
I watch the pain
I feel the betrayal
I witness the treachery
And I know that no loyalty exists there
I know it’s a competition
I have already been an competitor
And I won
Because I found the truth in a real friendship
First place
Because I know what loyalty is
I have succeeded
I have prevailed
Been triumphant
And I thank it all to you
You helped me realize
I don’t need you
I don’t want what you have to offer
Sure, I have forgiven you
But I don’t want your friendship
Get a life
go ruin someone else’s
And I hope
that they realize
That they don’t need you either
Sure, it may be fun at first
But at the end, it wont be
And in this friendship war
I have been victorious

That's a really long poem, it must have taken for ever to rhyme the words...and stuff. I am not good at poetry and don't really like it but reading this I am starting to look better upon poetry (by a smidgen though). This is really good, you should be come a poet like william shakespere an become rich!!!!
Anyway that was really well written I loved it good job!!!!

Hi,
I'm velvet, nice to meet you.
I was struck by this piece, because I remember something similar happening to me, a girls thing at school, bitchy and catyness. I remember writing an angry poem about this, and I remember feeling better, truer, purified.
This may not be how you feel, I don't know.
I do feel your anger, your hurt; but I feel you're missing the essential lesson, a lesson about poetry.
Yes, poetry is about expressing yourself, your anger, fears and such this dramatic piece serves this purpose. But poetry is also ultimately about making those feelings into something else, using that fuel to create something beautiful, and you've let yourself be carried away by your anger, and you're not listening to the poetry anymore. The poetry should allow you to transcend hurt.
I think the piece is too long, with lots of inessential extracts, hack at it! I expect you'll be loathsome to do that, but i believe you need to intensify all this feeling, rather than let it trawl for so long. Try and intensify the feeling, the intentions, but also insert nuance in tone : have the regret as clearly different from the anger, it has to sound different, to make me feel what you feel, through the word.
Not sure if this makes any sense.
Anyway, keep writing and if you disagree with me, please PM me! xox