Seventeen Years

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Seventeen years,
a short life to many,
but for me
it's seventeen years too long.

So much left to see
and yet I've seen enough.

So much left to do
but haven't I done enough?

So much left to experience
but I've experienced enough.

I've seen death
and the pain of others,
but with these eyes
I've seen happiness too.

I've failed
and done nothing but wrong,
but with this body
I've done something good as well.

I've experienced despair
and I've lost all hope,
but with this life
the light has shined once before.

To my left lies darkness
and nothing but fear.

To my right stands a light
and a place filled with hope.

Standing here I must admit,
is it enough?

In front of me the unknown future,
behind me a lingering past,
and beside me the troubling present
always looking over my shoulder.

Oh the life of a teenager,
is there anything better?
Last edited by JackfSpades05 on Mon Jan 25, 2010 3:27 am, edited 1 time in total.
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First of all-- Great Job! it's amazing!
There were a few grammar mistakes, but then again we all make them. i like how you go through everything- the experiences. With such emphasis too. it makes it even more believable to someone like me. I like how you beginning too.

"Seventeen years,
a short life to many,
but for me
it's seventeen years to long."

It's probably a really long time. I mean, I'm 14 and it seems like a life time so yeah, i get what you're saying. Great job again, Keep writing! :elephant: :smt005
Jessabelle
The past is the past, so don't bring it up.
JLJ is 4ever <3 :)

"Never give up, but there's a lot of people that would love to watch you fall and a lot of people wanting to see you succeed."




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Hey. I'm Nixie, nice to meet ya.

Haha. I laughed aloud when I read your last line. Couldn't agree more. I really like this poem. It falls into the genre of teenage angst poems but has that degree of hope. Hope which we should have, since we're all so young.

Anyway,

but for me
it's seventeen years to long.


too long, not to long.

So much left to see
and yet I've seen enough.

So much left to do
but haven't I done enough?

So much left to experience
but I've experienced enough.


Part above irks me for some reason. I guess, I feel like it's the sort of thing that works orally. It's dramatic in a speech, here it's cliche and just boringly repetitive. I really think this poem can do without it.

As to the rest, I really like it. This poem is just true. I mean, granted, teenagers tend to get a little too dramatic, but it's a hard world some of us live in. And anyway, you wrote about hope, and I'm a sucker for hope. And for that,this was a lovely read.

--Nixie
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter, as long as I'm laughing with you.:)




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Amazing! I love it.

There's a lot of emoism in the poetry of today's youth, your work is a fresh change. I like the way... how to explain... it's kind of like you've opened both eyes to the world, if that makes sense.

The whole thing is quite beautifully written, and I'm afraid I can't offer any decent criticism, so I will say well done :) Keep it up.
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Wow! This was wonderful! Amazing composition and depth. I loved how you went through the stages of life, facing the past and worrying over the future is what everyone goes through. It painted a vivid picture. Great job there. The flow was good and it did not feel forced. I loved the line: to my left lies darkness and nothing but fear. To my right stands a light and a place filled with hope. It gave me chills. Lovely poem. One of my favorites. :D
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Well, this poem made me sad. Good job, a nice poem usually invokes emotion. You wrote this beautifully, expressing exactly how some people feel: life is hard for a teenager, and sometimes you just want to give up. You captured that perfectly. Nice job!

--Dreamy
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Thank you for all of your feed back, I really appreciate it. I'll do my best in the future to come.

~Spades
Always have an Ace in the Hole



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