101 Ways to Die #2

Story #2
This one is staring Totes or as she is known on YWS as ilovebubbles123. Again, if you wish to star in this, give me your name and the way you would like to die.

Totes was sitting on her couch, watching her favorite show Glee. She watched as Kurt, the gay kid in the show, was introduced to Sue Sylvester, the evil cheerleader, but that’s not what she was interested in now.
On the table, sitting right in front, as if it was asking to be eaten, and a cherry-flavored lollipop. He dentist told her she couldn’t have any with her new braces, but the lollipop was torturing her. She couldn’t take it any more, she picked up the lollipop, unwrapped it, and stuck its sinful goodness into her mouth.
Screw what the dentist says, she said to herself. She slowly forgot her show in the ecstasy of enjoying a lollipop. She started to pull it out of her mouth when she realized the stick was caught on her braces. She tugged, but it wouldn’t come loose.
She began tugging even harder and began to taste iron as the braces cut inside her mouth. The braces came off her teeth as the glue came loose, but the stick was free. As she sighed in relief, she realized she couldn’t take in air. Her eyes widened and her heart pounded as she unsuccessfully gasped for air. Her vision began to fade as less and less oxygen got to her brain. Slowly, she began to lose consciousness, her world going black. Her last thought was that she should’ve listened to the dentist.

I love it. Can I just say that I loved the Glee reference at the beginning? I love that show! Keep writing these!

On the table, sitting right in front, as if it was asking to be eaten, and a cherry-flavored lollipop. He dentist told her she couldn’t have any with her new braces, but the lollipop was torturing her. She couldn’t take it any more, she picked up the lollipop, unwrapped it, and stuck its sinful goodness into her mouth.

Did you mean "The"?

Screw what the dentist says, she said to herself. She slowly forgot her show in the ecstasy of enjoying a lollipop. She started to pull it out of her mouth when she realized the stick was caught on her braces. She tugged, but it wouldn’t come loose.

I wonder how the stick got stuck in her braces.. doesn't make sense.

S

he began tugging even harder and began to taste iron as the braces cut inside her mouth. The braces came off her teeth as the glue came loose, but the stick was free. As she sighed in relief, she realized she couldn’t take in air. Her eyes widened and her heart pounded as she unsuccessfully gasped for air. Her vision began to fade as less and less oxygen got to her brain. Slowly, she began to lose consciousness, her world going black. Her last thought was that she should’ve listened to the dentist.

You used began twice, which isn't a good thing.[/quote]
If she had signed in relief then there should be a hole where the air made out, then why couldn't she inhale again? a couple of mistakes but very enjoyable.

AhmedAlafifi wrote:

On the table, sitting right in front, as if it was asking to be eaten, and a cherry-flavored lollipop. He dentist told her she couldn’t have any with her new braces, but the lollipop was torturing her. She couldn’t take it any more, she picked up the lollipop, unwrapped it, and stuck its sinful goodness into her mouth.

Did you mean "The"?

Screw what the dentist says, she said to herself. She slowly forgot her show in the ecstasy of enjoying a lollipop. She started to pull it out of her mouth when she realized the stick was caught on her braces. She tugged, but it wouldn’t come loose.

I wonder how the stick got stuck in her braces.. doesn't make sense.

She began tugging even harder and began to taste iron as the braces cut inside her mouth. The braces came off her teeth as the glue came loose, but the stick was free. As she sighed in relief, she realized she couldn’t take in air. Her eyes widened and her heart pounded as she unsuccessfully gasped for air. Her vision began to fade as less and less oxygen got to her brain. Slowly, she began to lose consciousness, her world going black. Her last thought was that she should’ve listened to the dentist.

You used began twice, which isn't a good thing.

If she had signed in relief then there should be a hole where the air made out, then why couldn't she inhale again? a couple of mistakes but very enjoyable. SORRY I REPLIED TWICE, I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO DELETE THE PREVIOUS POST.

I want to star in one of your stories! The name is Summer -yes like the season-. I choose death by a rabid squirrel.

Leth, this is awesome. Um, can I die in one of your stories? The name is Taco (nickname. orginal name is unknown, unless you want to give Taco one) I want to die in an amusement park. I don't care how I die, I'll just leave that up to you.

Still Tori. Still want death by a knife in the back or being stabbed with scissors. I'm laughing over here. Ahhhhhhh. Life.

Again, these are great. Very oddly entertaining, actually, to read about people dying. haha. How morbid humans are. OK so here we go: some grammar again...

Lethero wrote:Story #2
Totes was sitting on her couch, watching her favorite show Glee. She watched as Kurt, the gay kid in the show, was introduced to Sue Sylvester, the evil cheerleader, but that’s not what she was interested in now.
On the table, sitting right in front, as if it was asking to be eaten, and a cherry-flavored lollipop. He dentist told her she couldn’t have any with her new braces, but the lollipop was torturing her. She couldn’t take it any more, she picked up the lollipop, unwrapped it, and stuck its sinful goodness into her mouth.
Screw what the dentist says, she said to herself. She slowly forgot her show in the ecstasy of enjoying a lollipop. She started to pull it out of her mouth when she realized the stick was caught on her braces. She tugged, but it wouldn’t come loose.
She began tugging even harder and began to taste iron as the braces cut inside her mouth. The braces came off her teeth as the glue came loose, but the stick was free. As she sighed in relief, she realized she couldn’t take in air. Her eyes widened and her heart pounded as she unsuccessfully gasped for air. Her vision began to fade as less and less oxygen got to her brain. Slowly, she began to lose consciousness, her world going black. Her last thought was that she should’ve listened to the dentist.

That's all I have to fix. Great! Nice to die by lollipop... I think it's cool that you are taking suggestions. Keep writing! Hopefully you will put me in (Tianna again - death by sword fight).

I have an idea for one for you, if you wanna take it! Some kids are told not to play in the water, but they do anyway. But..... holy crap! It's filled with piranhas/sharks, and the kids just finished eating hamburgers and dripping all over themselves!!!!!!


Yup. Take it if you wish, or discard of it forever. Just a suggestion.