Witty Comments!

Ok so, I absolutely LOVE it when a character in a book says something witty and befuddles the other character/characters they are speaking to! (Yeah I said befuddles, deal with it!) and I wanna see what other wittiness there is out there!

The idea is you just post a witty quote from a historical figure, your best friend, a book you read, a book you wrote...anything wittly funny/clever that will make me and others laugh!

Here we go:

My sister told me about this and I'm not sure what book its from but I just love it.

"Curiosity killed the cat!"
"Satisfaction brought it back."

I love this quote. Breeze from Mistborn said this:

"Try not to talk so much friend. You'll sound less stupid that way."

Da best XD

Ahh, from one of my old stories, from my old account.

-

“Tomorrow you die.”

“So, jealous are we?”

-



-

She smiled; a gentle beautiful angelic smile and I was forced to smile back. Sam walked up to me and I stammered caught in the moment, “You’re so cute.”

Her jaw clenched in anger and her fists closed. Then she began to talk and I was shocked at the sound of her voice, “I’m a boy.”

Between two of my characters

“I can shoot good.” Sam said.
“You can shoot well, Sam, you can shoot well.”
“Thank you.”
“I didn’t mean it like that. I was just…”
“Saying stuff,”
“Correcting you,” Andrew said sternly.
“I can still shoot good.” Sam shrugged.
“Now you’re just doing that to annoy me.”
“You guessed it.”

~Durrie023

lol. Here's one from my story.

"You know, you have a beautiful voice." Wolfheart

"And you, my love, have a sweet tongue." Applewhisker

Haha I am loving these!

Heres another, its from one of my stories also:

“What all of us want I suppose. To find true love, raise a family. But, at this very moment, I would like to know more about this “advance” I heard one of your thugs mention before I joined your little party! And you can either give it to me while you can still breathe or else you’ll find rather quickly that you’ve lost that ability. Your choice!” I added cheerfully.


“You ought to look for love instead, my lady.” The man said. “You’ll find it a lot sooner than you’ll get any form of information out of our mouths. And even love will be a grand challenge for a she-beast such as you.” I gasped and clutched my heart, pretending to be hurt.

All parts from my novel that I love.

*

While she grumbled her way through bathing, I dug through her closet. Even with a faint idea of what she owned my head was spinning. She had enough clothes to wear two different outfits a day, every day of the year.

Which I figured was the point.

*

I muttered as I sorted through her wardrobe, which was thankfully organized by colour, style and season. I decided one servant had had way too much time on their hands when they had unpacked my sister’s clothing.

*

“Want to go to bed, M’Lady?” a voice I didn’t recognize said. I knew it was the other guard, him being the only person I hadn’t heard speak before this.

I twisted just enough to look at him out of the corner of my eye. “I’m no ‘Lady’ here.”

He took a few steps towards me and made a mock bow. “But, you are a woman, which makes you deserving of a certain treatment.”

I got up and walked over to him, placing my hand on my dagger as I went. “Gender has no place in the wilderness. Giving special treatment to me might mean ignoring the signs of an attack.”

“But surely you want protection against those attacks, do you not?” Even in the darkness I could see the mocking glint in his eye.

I drew my dagger and twisted my arm, sending my blade to the base of his neck before he could react. He took a step back in shock. I smiled.

“I think I’ll be just fine.”

From my book:

"What was that Majors son?" Sam said.

"I said you have no right owning a drivers license!"

"Gotcha!" Sam said passing a stop sign.

"One of these days you're going to become a traffic fatality statistic," Andrew said tisk tisking.

This is so amazing, I found it on an icon somewhere:

"Got a problem with me? Solve it."

"Think I'm trippin'? Tie my shoe."

"Can't stand me? Sit down."

"Can't face me? Turn the **** around."

I have one! I have one!


Hibarin: "I'll bite you to death."
Mukuro: "Love you too, hon."


I have another!


"What flavor is that?"
"Delicious."

XD

I have one!!!

"How's about you and me meet up in my hotel room?" Zack said in his annoying voice.
Katrina leaned in close to him.
"I'd rather chew glass."
And with that, she turned on her heel and walked away, leaving Zack rejected and burned.

Ha! Love this. I got one.

-"You're lookin' hot today, Ash. Damn, did your boobs get bigger?"
-"Maybe, but they're still not as big as yours."