Ok, I'll go through some nitpicks first...
"I love you mom," says a eager young Carrie crawling into her bedsheets.
Eager? She's going to bed. Wouldn't she be sleepy?
I walk over to my daughters bed with the biggest smile I can manage,upon my face.
No need for the comma.
Wondering why she is acting so sketchy, I approach her bedside once more.
Sketchy isn't really the best way to describe it, in my opinion.
Well COMMA as tight as my six year old daughter can manage.
CREEEEEECK. I hear the bathroom door open. Oh perfect timing for Larry to come home.
I think you mean for it to be 'creak', not 'creek'.
It was around ten before I hopped in the shower.
Now, some points:
Grammar:
Dude, what's with all the periods?! I mean, seriously. You split up sentences when you really, really don't need to. I don't want to go into examples here, because there are actually a lot, but just read through the piece and determine which sentences can be combined. You'll be surprised.
Plot:
Not bad, not bad at all. It's gripping, which is nice, and I'm already wanting to read more. The synopsis was kind of confusing, because it doesn't relate to the story yet, but it's nice knowing a little bit about what will happen.
Writing Style:
The way you write is kind of jerky at times. It's not very smooth, doesn't flow all that well. I'd try making longer sentences (as seen above) and wording everything in the best possible way.
Overall it was nice! I hope to see more from you.
~Amy