Werewolf Story

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*This just came to me, so I decided to right it down. I am not sure if this will develop into a story, but I will see where it leads me.*

Prologue

I watched as the moon rose slowly over the horizon. Her light tickled my skin and filled me with boundless energy. My eyes began to glow bright amber. I yelled at the top of my voice, but no matter how loud I did it it felt like I would never be able to fully express my full joy tonight. For tonight was the night of change, it was the night of the full moon.
I began to run forward, across the field of grass, rushing towards the rising moon. Fur sprouted out across my entire body, uninhibited by clothes. My hands and feet turned into paws of great strength, my head morphed, shaping into a long, pointed muzzle, and a tail sprouted out of my backside. In one seamless change my weak human body had become a sleek and powerful wolf. Now, not only could I feel the full moon but smell her wonderful aroma, taste her mouth-watering flavor, hear her beautiful music, and see the sight that would leave all speechless. I am commanded by none, and admired by all. I am a Werewolf.
Last edited by Lethero on Thu Jan 14, 2010 12:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
Fly, Fight, Win . . . in Air, Space, and Cyberspace.
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*Lethero*




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Hello, my edits will be in red...

Lethero wrote:Prologue

I watched as the moon rose slowly over the horizon. The moonlight tickled my skin and filled me with limitless energy. My eyes began to glow bright amber. I yelled at the top of my voice, but no matter how loud I did I don't know what it is here but something dosn't seem to flow, you need to reword it to something like, I yelled at the top of my voice, as loud as I could, but I still couldn't fully express my joy of tonight. it it felt like I would never be able to fully express my full joy tonight. For tonight was the night of change, it was the night of the full moon.
I began to run forward, across the field of grass, rushing towards the rising moon. Fur sprouted out across my entire body, uninhibited by my clothes. My hands and feet turned into paws of great strength, my head morphed, sharp I dont think you need the word sharp here you could put it where I write here shaping into a long, here pointed muzzle, and a tail sprouted out behind me. In one seamless change my weak human body had become a sleek and powerful wolf. Now, not only could I feel the full moon but smell its wonderful aroma, taste its mouth-watering flavor, hear its beautiful music, and see the sight that would leave all speechless. I commanded by none, and admired by all. I am a Werewolf.


I really liked this I could really see this turning into a story. I liked the way you described the transformation and te way the moon was so beautiful to her. You could definately make more of this if you wanted to.

Overall very good, PM me if you write more. :D
~Lydia
Thinking about what you COULD achieve will get you no where. You've got to chase your dreams.
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I think its a wonderful prologue I could definetly see this into fantastic story! Keep up the good work! PM me when you write more :D
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Hey there, I really liked your descriptions, I could picture it all very clearly and it had a melodic and beautiful sound to it all.


Lethero wrote: I yelled at the top of my voice, but no matter how loud I did it it felt like I would never be able to fully express my full joy tonight.


This was the one part that sounded a bit awkward to me. I think it may be due to the fact that you have the two "it"s next to each other, which the ear isn't used to hearing, so it sounds wrong.

Other than that, I think it's a good piece. Let me know if you're going to do anything with it and if you end up posting again, I'd love to read more. :D
There are two kinds of folks who sit around thinking about how to kill people:
psychopaths and mystery writers.

I'm the kind that pays better.
~Rick Castle



Life is a banana peel and I am the fool who dared to tread on it.
— looseleaf