Jessica and Mimi

Smokey Charcoal yarn snaked it’s way around and up china doll legs, and the deep, screaming fear was set frozen in the back of the young girl’s mind. However terrifying this occurrence could be for the child, knowing it was her lifelong companion controlling the event at hand soothed her nerves in an eerie, inexplicable way. After all, what nine-year-old wouldn’t trust her favorite doll? Crystal blue eyes closed softly, and there was a whisper of an oh-so-familiar voice in her ear.
“Lay down, dear, you seem tired…” the harmonic, flowing way the words danced through her mind were more than enough to convince, as she lay her head softly down on the soft vanilla comforter behind her. Everything will be okay, I trust Mimi… Mimi would never hurt me… She drowsily thought.
The grip tightened around her frail figure, easing its way under her nightdress, cuddling her porcelain ribcage. Small cracking noises reverberated in tiny ears, a cat clawed at a nearby door, and there was an odd air of calm and peace as the innocent-enough rag doll climbed closer, closer to its goal…
It did not take much time. The yarn snakes slithered their path backwards, faster this time, leaving behind pink lines upon snow white skin. The young girl’s eyes opened once more, only this time missing something. A slight smile crept slightly upward, waving at her right ear before pausing. There was a wicked grin, and Mimi knew she had won. That Jessica Whong was no more. Whereas, Jessica herself was not so sure of that. She always knew Mimi would never lie to her, hurt her. And, just as Doubt himself started up his slow pace, she was… somewhere. Somewhere spectacular, for lack of better word. If she had been older, and more knowledgeable about the various philosophies which arose with the Ancient Chinese civilization, she may have called it Nirvana, or the thought could have at least crossed her mind, ahead of the questions. The Knowing always came before the questions. A soft tingling ceased, something she didn’t notice was there until its absence, and then there was nothing. Eyes closed and just floating… Closed? Why are they closed… She wanted to see this lovely Somewhere.
And that’s when the Realization caught up. Silly child… You’re eyes aren’t closed… You’re just not willing to See… But she was! And what she did See used up the last feeling left in her soul, flushing her aura with horror. Such familiar faces… and such a pretty young girl… who would do such a thing?
Her curiosity triggered the questions, as she found herself wondering: Who are they? What happened to the girl? That look in her eyes… so dreadful. Do I knew her? Who am I, anyways? She could no longer remember her name, or what she was before reaching this… Haven, of ignorant sorts. Or if she was a SHE.
There was an odd… chill. One she did not enjoy, and then a…something… A light? Yes, that’s it. A light… And that, as the story always goes, was the last word.

This was something I haven’t come across. I loved the idea behind the story. I though it was presented in a very unique voice, but there was something that I didn’t understand. The first thing that confused me for a moment was “Smokey Charcoal” and that it was capitalized (and smoky doesn‘t have an “e“). It looks more like a name of character than the actual description of the yarn. Try starting the sentence with an article: “a” would suffice. Oh, and just be careful of the possessive usage of “it” - “it’s” standing it for “it is” etc.
I do like the dialogue, especially for the china doll. It fits the characters quite beautifully, but there are times when punctuation is absent or a word is dropped. For example:

“Lay down, dear, you seem tired…” the harmonic, flowing way the words danced through her mind were more than enough to convince[...]

I would suggest ending the quote with a period and then capitalize the next word.

There was a wicked grin, and Mimi knew she had won. That Jessica Whong was no more.

This should be one sentence.

And you tend to capitalize words that don't need to be capitalized.

The Knowing always came before the questions.[...]She wanted to see this lovely Somewhere.
And that’s when the Realization caught up. [...] You’re just not willing to See… But she was! And what she did See used up the last feeling left in her soul, flushing her aura with horror.

I also love the imagery of the whole piece and the fact that it is more psychological than narrative, if that makes sense. It was wonderful piece to read. Thank you so much for sharing.