Bloodlust & Bloodloss chapter 1

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It's very long but please don't stop because of it... this is my drafted version which is being reviewed. you saw a preview and so here is part 1. when i get back my review, i'm gonna type up the proper version. :)

Hunted

There might be a few things you need to know before you step into my life. I am homeless. I hunt vampires. And then I kill them. It’s my night job, so I sleep at day and wait for them to come lurking round corners at night. Just to be on the safe side, if I fall asleep at all, then I’ll just sleep under a street lamp. This is my life. And you’d better be ready to get to grips with it.
I use stakes to kill them. You might want to know how I got the stakes; I simply take them from skips. My life as you might presume, sucks here in London. People are all hysterical with all the happiness around them, the crowded roads and alleyways, but nobody comes near me. I’m a scrub in their minds - a total and utter scrub – and I don’t have the chance to bath like normal citizens. But then again, there are a lot of homeless people here in London - practically everywhere though, international – who go around begging from the rich and famous. The rich and famous give them the dirtiest looks and probably spill it out to all the gossip magazines that a homeless person attacked them, when they were simply asked for spare change. They like the media. Twisting everything that goes on, making the victims of those hurtful phrases feel like a nobody.
I should probably say how I became a homeless freak. It was just an average day with my family going for a family outing. We had family outings a lot. It was just me, my mum, dad and younger sister Daisy.
We had gone for a meal at a really nice restaurant not far from our flat, and we drove down in our nice little car in the evening, as we had got out to make our way to the front door… we were attacked. Not by the average crime committer, but a vampire. There were three vampires actually, who ambushed my mother, father and younger sister. I stared in horror as blood soaked their clothes. I had never believed in the supernatural. But that night changed everything.
They didn’t seem to look at me, not once; they were too busy on my family. At first I thought it was some gang stabbing my family. But they were actually shoving their mouths on my families’ necks.
I was only thirteen. Now I’m sixteen, and my names Mandy. It’s a pretty hard life, staking vampires. They are fast, strong and truly beautiful. It’s hard not to get mesmerised by them, which I did. It wasn’t nice.
I had been holding a glass shard I’d found high in my hand ready to strike the vampire from behind, when it turned; I stared into its eyes. I knew I shouldn’t have, but I did, and I dropped the stake in awe. He had leaned towards me, about to bite me, but I fought it, I fought it hard. With all my strength I screamed in his face, raised the glass shard and stabbed him in the chest. His eyes bulged at me, and he fell straight to the floor on his back with a thud. I was gasping for breath and ran as fast as I could to the lamppost at the other side of the street. That’s where I stayed until dawn. Then I moved on. And here I am.

The sun was shining down on to my skin, and I loved the feeling of it, apart from the fact I had no sun cream; I rolled up the sleeves on my shirt and took of my coat. My shirt seemed pretty clean, although it did smell. Now I needed to steal a new top. Great. It’d lasted long as well.
No sign of a killing anywhere near here - Just random citizens passing by and chatting and laughing - if only they knew the dangers that lurked around corners waiting for them.
I walked along down the busy street, people dodging me as I passed, I tutted at them and ignored there disgusted looks. They would be disgusted in vampires if they knew they existed…
‘Hey!’ A man called from behind me, he seemed to be running. I turned to see a teenager running towards me. He stopped as soon as he came face to face with me. He smelt clean, and was obviously not homeless, he wore a shirt and jeans and his hair was floppy and brown. His eyes were a blue colour that was dazzling like a vampire. I stared and stepped back so I could take a better look at him.
‘And who are you?’ I asked curiously with a bitter hint to my voice.
‘Sorry to bother you but,’ the teenager looked over his shoulder and started shaking. He pulled his sleeve up to reveal blood streaming down the crease of his elbow and down to his wrist. I widened my eyes in horror and shook my head.
‘Why do you want me? Call a bloody doctor you freak,’ I turned on my heals and began to stalk away when the boy called me again.
‘Please! I know what you are!’ He yelled down the street. I stopped and spun around, I speed walked to him and grabbed his wrist. I examined the cut and shook my head.
‘You won’t be,’ I said.
‘Thank god. So I won’t be a you-know-what?’ His eyes were filled with worry as he stared into mine. I frowned and shook my head.
‘How the hell do you know what I am?’ Curiously, I checked him out again, and he did just seem perfectly average.
The boy hesitated and leant closer to me. ‘You have the necklace.’
I looked down on my chest to see my necklace dangling down, with a small golden cross-hooked to the chain. In disbelief I opened my mouth in shock and stared at him.
‘How on earth did you know that was there? It’s under my shirt!’
‘Your shirt is kind of see-through,’ he flushed a deep red in his cheeks and stared at his shoes for a moment.
I too, flushed red in embarrassment and pulled my coat around me in horror. The street was still filled with hundreds of people hurrying to work in the early sun. I glanced around to see that people probably wouldn’t take any notice to a homeless person.
‘Go home,’ I said turning around to walk the other way with my head down in total anger.
‘No…. please, let me stay with you! I can help!’ The boy was trying to catch up with me, I turned the corner, still with my head down, as I stepped into a few puddles the smell of trash in dustbins crawled up my nostrils. There weren’t any more footsteps behind me, he must have come to his senses and stopped. Just to check, I turned to see him at the end of the road with wide eyes. I carried on walking and stopped when I realised the path was getting narrower. I hadn’t turned into another road. I’d turned the corner in to an alleyway.
I began to back away; I was thick in the shade of the towering buildings at either side of me. A faint shuffling was heard from the far end of the alleyway. A head popped up from behind a skip, and then it came round to face me, revealing the persons head, legs and arms. A vampire. Bloody hell. I put my hand to my pocket, reaching for my knife.
‘No time woman! RUN!’ The teenager yelled. I felt a bit taken aback when he had said woman, but then… he didn’t know my name. The vampire lunged for me; I jumped out of the way and ran for the light. A hand grabbed my shoulder, cold and deadly. But the vampire was drawing me in. I wanted to turn and see the vampires’ eyes, to dream into them. But I fought the urge; his grip was tight on my shoulder. He spun me around to face him. I looked down and he pulled my face up, quickly I closed my eyes.
‘Open them,’ his voice was like a song. I couldn’t believe it. There could be a dozen more vampires in this alleyway and this was the only one to get me. The others must have realised he claimed his dinner.
‘No,’ I said, my voice cracking.
‘Damn it woman! RUN!’ The teenager yelled again. But I couldn’t see him. I was facing the vampire. And if I tried to move, surely I’d be killed. Slowly I felt for my pocket with my right hand, I shoved it in and placed my grip on the handle of the knife. I felt the vampires’ breath coming closer to my neck as he bent in - the cold touch of his teeth about to dig in - my instincts stepped in, I bent my right arm and shoved it up through his chest and into his heart. Twisting it, I pushed it further in and pulled it out. Thick blood covered the knife blade and dripped to the floor. It smelt sweet; I grabbed a tissue from my other pocket and wiped the knife clean. I watched as the vampire fell to the floor, squirming in agony, and I watched as his eyes rolled to the back of his head. I felt my neck, and winced as I retrieved my hand to see blood. The bite hadn’t been deep, and I hadn’t felt it. I turned and ran for the light in which the teenager stood.
‘What’s your name?’ I gasped still holding my hand to my neck.
‘Dylan. Are you-’
‘I’m fine!’ I breathed as I took my hand away to see more blood. ‘I don’t think it was a transforming bite… just a… just… just a-’ before I could get another word out, a sudden electricity pulsed through me; I flopped to the ground writhing in agony. I looked up to see Dylan with his arms behind his neck with a mixture or horror and confusion on his face. I fought the pain, used all my strength to push it back. But my neck seemed to spice like I’d been stabbed. Never before had I let myself get bitten, I hadn’t known it was this painful. Suddenly, the pain stopped. I stopped screaming, sat up and opened my eyes. People were crowded around me, and Dylan was bending over me.
‘Hey! She’s waking up!’ He cried in joy. People seemed to just grunt and moan and they turned in disappointment and left Dylan and me. Dylan looked over his shoulder and sighed. ‘Never mind, they haven’t just been bitten by a vampire.’
I smiled and put my hand to my neck, the bleeding had stopped but I still had an open cut and my hand was still painted with red blood.
‘Man you’re really pale…’ Dylan said helping me up. ‘I’d call a doctor but… you seem fine.’
‘Yeah I am. He must have bitten me before I stabbed him. I never felt it though,’ I stared at Dylan as he smiled at me. ‘Let me guess, you’ve taken interest in a homeless girl who hunts vampires and you want to be involved ‘cause you wonna prove you’re a man.’
Dylan chuckled and shrugged. ‘Maybe,’ he held out his hand and smiled. ‘Since we haven’t had a formal introduction. I’d like to formally introduce myself as Dylan cooper, vampire hunter and sixteen years of age. Nearly seventeen actually…’
‘You’re a vampire hunter too?’ I asked surprised. ‘Wow… is that why you got bitten? I don’t understand why they are out in day hours. The shade isn’t enough to cover them. I bet they’ll be on the move.’
‘Yep, I’m one of you. And man that was too close. You could have been dead meat. I think you need shelter,’ he smiled at me in a way that made him look adorable.
‘What do you mean?’ Quite puzzled by this, I got another tissue and wiped my hands and got through my fingernails for blood.
‘I can’t offer you to stay at mine so… I can offer you a tent in the car park outside my flat,’ Dylan began walking, so I followed. ‘And my dad will let you stay out in the car park because our whole family are vampire hunters. He kind of owns the building.’
I considered this, and then stopped. He spun round to see why. I just eyed him up and down deep in thought. Should I have a tent in a car park? Surely I’d get stabbed at night or something? I stuck my hand out at him and smiled.
‘Allow me to properly introduce myself. I am Mandy McGrogen and am a homeless scrub. My family were attacked by vampires and now I hunt the damn freaks,’ I swallowed hard as his mouth dropped open in shock. He shook my hand though.
‘What the hell? Your family were bloody killed?’ He almost shrieked the last word. I nodded hastily and then let go of his hand. ‘Why didn’t you go to relatives?’
‘Because… I didn’t know where they lived. I was only 11 I think,’ I said and began to walk down the street. My stomach rumbled and I stared at McDonalds just around the corner.
‘You’re hungry? That must suck. I’ll buy you some food,’ he grabbed my arm and pulled me towards McDonalds. Blood was still covering his arm. I bit my lip and let him pull me away. Normally, I might have refused. But the offer was there, and I was starving.

McDonalds had not been a nice experience; we’d got our food in meal deal boxes. But, unfortunately, as we had sat down we were asked to leave because of the blood on our skin – probably so we couldn’t scare the customers and because they wanted a hygienic shop – and Dylan complained asking why couldn’t we just go to the toilets. They said no. So we left carrying our meal deal boxes. Dylan had kept on swearing. We ate our meal deals on the way to Dylan’s flat, as we entered the block of flats; Dylan began to moan at the pain in his arm.
‘Dad’ll freak,’ He had moaned as we got in the lift. ‘This has only happened once before. And he made me swear never again would it happen.’
I gave him a reassuring look as we left the lift onto floor three. The hallway had several doors going down, and lights on the ceiling. The walls were painted purple and there were several pots of plants outside each door.
Dylan knocked on number thirteen and opened the door. The flat was quite big, with an open living room through to the kitchen. Wall length windows were at the far end of the room, with blinds that were open letting sunlight through. Every light was on in the house I noticed, probably in case of Vampires. Dylan rolled his eyes at me, but I guessed it was because of the always-on-lights-in-broad-daylight thing.
I could smell fresh fish and chips in the kitchen on the worktop. I stared at it in awe. I hadn’t had fish and chips since I was thirteen when I had begged for enough money to buy them. Dylan smiled as he examined my expression. He moved away into his own room I guessed. And I waited; he came back out again with his comb and threw it at me.
‘It looks like you need it,’ He said with a smug look on his face as he slumped onto the sofa.
I began to comb through the knots in my hair and winced every time it went through. Footsteps came from the hallway near Dylan’s bedroom and a tall man came through into the living room. His hair was a black colour like Dylan’s and he was really tall. He was wearing a black shirt and dark grey jeans. His feet were bare and he was carrying a bottle of water.
He stopped as he surveyed me, then shook his head at the bite on my neck and came over to me, dragged me to the sofa and sat opposite me.
‘That is not good,’ he stated. That was pretty obvious. ‘Who are you? Did you find yourself in a you-know-what accident?’
I looked at him with curious eyes and for a second it looked as though he thought he’d said the wrong thing and that I didn’t know about vampires.
‘Unfortunately yes,’ I muttered to myself. ‘And Dylan also found himself in a you-know-what accident.’
Mr Cooper shot Dylan a horrified look and stood up to face him. ‘You didn’t?! WHERE?’ He yelled.
I felt a little bit of guilt at the way Dylan looked at me with disgust. But his dad needed to know. Dylan held out his arm and rolled back the sleeve. It was still bleeding for much longer than my bite to the neck did. Mr Cooper examined it without touching it and shook his head.
‘Not bad,’ He said and sighed with satisfaction. ‘Did you have a fit?’
‘Yes,’ He answered. I hadn’t seen him have a fit, but I knew he must have from the way he was shaking when he saw me.
‘Good… and you?’ Mr Cooper asked curiously now facing me.
‘Yes… I did, and it damn right hurt me the stupid bloody vampires,’ I moaned as I felt my neck again. ‘ Never before…’
‘Are you a Vampire hunter?’ Mr Cooper stared at me with bright and excited eyes.
‘Yes. They killed my family, so I kill them. And I don’t think it is murder. It’s putting peace to our world,’ I stared at Dylan who was still fiddling with his sleeve.
Mr Cooper smiled and began to chuckle. ‘She’s good isn’t she? Where did you find her Dylan?’
‘Street. She’s a homeless,’ Dylan said looking up at his dad with a bored sort of voice.
‘My god. Homeless! With Vampires lurking around the streets of London? My god dear,’ with a slight horrified look, Mr Cooper put his hand over his mouth and scratched his head deep in thought after a while. Seconds past and nobody talked.
‘I mentioned giving her a tent for the car park under a lamp post?’ Dylan suggested to his father. Mr Cooper looked at his son like he’d said something offensive.
‘Never. No not on my car park. Never! That’d draw the stupid creatures in!’ Mr Cooper sighed and smiled. ‘No, she has to stay here in this flat. At night we go out together. You can have Bethany’s room since she’s left for college. Have the rest of her clothes; I’m sure she’s grown out of them. I think she was about your size. Dylan, go show the lady her new room.’
Dylan’s face lit up with joy as he grabbed my hand and took me to Bethany’s old room. The room was opposite his and inside it was quite roomy. The bed was a four-poster and had no bed sheets on. However there were some bed sheets under the bed that now belonged to me. I searched the room, and indeed, there were some clothes in the wardrobe and drawers that were my size. Brilliant. I went to the bathroom, which Dylan showed me to, and I showered then changed into some new clothes that were quite creased and obviously not ironed.
‘Where’s your mother?’ I asked Dylan as I sat down on my bed in my new room moments later.
Dylan’s face went a deadly white and he turned his back to me. ‘They took her from us. Recently. She’s one of them, and when she sees us in the streets at night, she tries her best to keep her thirst elsewhere,’ He turned to face me again. And I thought I saw a tear trickle down his cheek. However, he smiled it off and that was when I decided to stop pestering him. I stared at the sky blue walls, and the mirror over the dressing table. It had been a long time since I had a bedroom (a nice one too).
I lay down in bed and waved him off with my hand. ‘I need sleep. Bye,’ I said. He didn’t turn the light off and I knew why. Anything could creep in here and suck my blood in the dark. I smiled to myself and pulled the sheets over me, even though it was the afternoon, I was still definitely tired, because it was my routine, just like the vampires.

***

The light in my room shone through my eyelids to leave a red like colour there replacing the black you normally get at night. I opened my eyes and sat up in my new bed. All had happened so quickly, I’d never thought I’d been offered a bed and food. This was just phenomenal. But then again, it’s not every day you bump into vampire hunters.
I checked the clock hanging on the wall above the mirror and jumped out of bed as it was two in the morning.
I scanned for a new pair of underwear. Succeeding of course… but they weren’t your usual friendly type. They were frilly like old granny pants. These couldn’t have been Bethany’s. I checked several other drawers and found a pair of normal underwear (Thank heavens) and a bra that fitted me perfectly. Considering I didn’t know my size and had just stolen any bra from M&S to stash in my bag. This family was all too friendly. And I hope that they are as kind as they seem.

I sat down on the kitchen table waiting for Dylan to wake up and show his face. Mr Cooper was up and frying bacon and eggs. Good. That is good. I hadn’t had a fry up since ages ago. It was only five years ago though. Life on the streets is not exactly an everyday experience for normal folk such as the rich and famous in London and the rest of the world. You wouldn’t expect a fry up though at nighttime.
‘So. How did you end up in this mess?’ Mr Cooper asked me with deep concern in his eyes.
I bit my lip wondering if I should tell him… I had only just met these people.
‘Which mess?’ I asked.
‘The fact that you got bitten, I wanted to know how,’ Mr Cooper said turning back to the pan and moving the eggs around with a spatula.
‘Oh,’ I hated the memory of that scene. So I told him exactly what happened and he turned the hob off, and faced me.
‘You can never be too careful, always keep your chin up. Um, what’s your name again?’
I smiled. ‘Mandy. Did Dylan tell you?’
‘Yes he did; now I remember. Ah well, make sure you’ve got a stake with you to kill those unnatural monsters,’ he gestured towards my hand.
‘Yeah, I got a few,’ I looked down at my hand and looked towards the hallway when I heard Dylan’s door open.
His hair was messy and he stretched and yawned as he came in. He was wearing his trousers and his shirt wasn’t buttoned up. Dylan smiled at his dad and me as he came over.
‘Anyone would think we’re vampires getting up at this time,’ He stated frowning. ‘Ha, and not many people have a fry up at night.’
We all laughed at this, which was exactly what I had thought. It was only then that I realised he had a fit body. I stared for a few seconds and then looked away when he started buttoning his shirt up.
He took a seat next to me and took a big breath in as his dad lay a few plates out on the table.
‘Be careful,’ I stated at Dylan. ‘That might be the last breath you take tonight.’
Dylan shook his head and I thought I saw a little smile creep up on his face but it vanished when he took a forkful of egg and shoved it in his mouth.

We walked through the block of flats cautiously, turning on every light as we passed, we each carried a torch in case the vampires found a way of busting the power in the block of flats – which they probably could – and came creeping up behind us. Mr cooper carried flares as well, in case the battery went dead in the torches. We all had a weapon on us to stake the vampires, and cautiously we exited the building.
‘Right, We’re splitting up,’ Mr Cooper said. I frowned at this; he was probably like the captain. ‘Mandy is it? You go down that street and run to each lamp post. We don’t want to lose anyone. Ok?’
I nodded.
‘Dylan, take the street ahead and I’ll go around the blocks of flats and in alleyways, I’ll be carrying a flare though… they do give off more light around you and don’t light just one place. Got it?’
Dylan and me nodded and headed off in our separate ways. I put my hand to my pocket feeling for my knife in case a vampire could happen to survive the light. I had my doubts. I turned down the street and when I looked ahead, all the lamp posts seemed to be off, and I noticed shadows of human body shapes lurking in the horizon and the end of the road. I shuddered and took a flare out of my bag, lit it and threw it into the middle of the road. The light from the flare took of in all directions lighting up the middle of the street. Some figures jumped away in shock and faced me. I grabbed another flare from my bag, held it tight in my hand and ran forward… flares don’t last forever. And I’d better kill as many vampires as I could.
‘Who the hell are you?’ Shrieked a vampire from a dark corner. I stopped in the middle looking at the bright flare and the flare in my hand.
‘Uh, just passing. I hate dark streets,’ was it me or did that sound even lamer than it did in my head than out loud?
‘Really?’ A different vampire stared at the now dimming flare in the middle of the road along with me. They were getting impatient. Thirsty…
‘Yes, really,’ I said almost whispering it.
‘Well, you don’t need the light we’ll help you. The street just down the road is filled with people and lights,’ A female vampire was standing on the boarder of the flare light which was getting smaller, she was getting closer to me every time it did.
‘No, I’d rather not,’ I said, I reached into my bag and pulled out two more flares and threw one along the road and kept the other in my hand. The female vampire jumped back as I ran towards the light. They were so fast, before I knew it they were yet again, stood around the boarder of the flare light. I looked over my shoulder to see the flare in the middle of the street fade away and was suddenly lit no longer.
‘Really, stop following me,’ I said staring at them all with a reassuring look. If there were in fact light ahead, the vampires would follow me at the boarder of the streetlight, and if I could draw them close enough, they’d forget it was there and they’d jump in and dissolve into dust.
‘Please… we’ll help you get out of here. The dark doesn’t last forever you know…’ A male vampire hissed, I didn’t look him in the eye but instead stared at his feet. They were bare, along with the rest of the vampires.
‘Tell me, why are you so scared of the light then?’ I said with a smile on my face. All the vampires stopped dead in their tracks even though the flares border light was dimming closer to me.
‘We are not afraid,’ a female said, I examined her and saw she was wearing a long blue dress and her hair was blonde and flowing down to her waist.
‘Really?’ I said sarcastically. ‘I know what the hell you are and if you come any closer I’ll stake your arses off.’
I threw the flare in my hand towards a vampire who instantly freaked and scattered the floor with their dust. I took out my last flare, bit my lip and threw it at the end of the street. Crap. The flare on the floor had totally blacked out, and they were closing in on me. My threat hadn’t seemed to scare them. Not one bit.
‘Ok,’ I said. I reached my hand out waiting for them to grab my hand… I knew I was in a sticky situation, but if my new plan worked, then great. One of their cold hands grabbed my wrist and I felt myself being dragged away by only one vampire (a female vampire). She stopped and shaked the others off when she got to her territory.
‘Now,’ She hissed staring at me. ‘She bent over and grabbed my shoulders, she leant her mouth in to my neck, I grabbed my hand to the knife, raised my hand, but felt my arm go limp as another vampire stamped on my hand. I felt the knife drop and I screamed as I heard the sickening crack in my elbow. The woman vampire looked up at the male and hissed.
‘Leave her be!’ She shrieked, and I felt dazed. She sunk her teeth in to my neck, I felt woozy, and it felt as though I was being drained of life. My eyes began to close as a black fog clouded my vision, I felt the female vampire suddenly jump back from my neck and scream, I noticed dust on the ground in the place where she had been, and light around me. I heard a voice. And then I closed my eyes.
'This isn't funny Dean, the voice says i'm almost out of minutes!' - Castiel
~ Nothing is true, everything is permitted... Live by the Creed... Be Discreet...




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PLease can someone review? I know it's long but you don't have to read all of it. ;)
'This isn't funny Dean, the voice says i'm almost out of minutes!' - Castiel
~ Nothing is true, everything is permitted... Live by the Creed... Be Discreet...




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Gender Female
Points 23443
Reviews 193
Hello, Carly.

I really like your idea, and I think you pulled it off really well. As this is a first draft I won't go into reems and reems about grammar and all that. But this does need to be attended to in your next draft. Also a couple of things that didn't quite make sense, but again you will be able to correct this with a quick re-draft.

Ok, I think that this is about it, Well Done.
I can't wait to read more, PM me when you re-draft this, and with the next chapter.
Ok, Keep Writing...
~Lydia :D
Thinking about what you COULD achieve will get you no where. You've got to chase your dreams.
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/viewtopic.php?f=188&t=92400 - Need a review?



I'm officially making it my goal in life to become a roomba. I want to be little robot. I want knives taped to me. I want to be free.
— TheMulticoloredCyr