Elvin Honor part 2

This was origionally the second part of a two-part into, but I noticed that it was a little long for a YWS post, so I broke it into two shorter parts. So sorry if the ending stinks, it's not really supposed to be an ending.


I was escorted to my house by the same guards. Once the door opened, they left to go about their business. I was allowed to finish up my affairs with my family privately.

I stood tense in the entry, the door closed behind me. I wasn’t sure what to expect. My mother was there first- she flung herself around me, catching me in a strong, suffocating hug. Though she made no sound, I could feel the silent sops racking her slim body.

“I don’t know what happened,” she whispered, “but I know you didn’t leave Nalen to die. I know you would have died for him if you could.”

“Thank you, for believing me, Mother,” I whispered, hugging her back. Then I pulled away, looking at her at an arm’s length. Her pretty, petite, angular elvin face and almond-shaped amber eyes, framed by waves of strawberry blonde hair cascading down her back.

“Just remember, my Kith,” she continued, gripping my forearms, “that I love you. I always will. Remember that; no matter how lonely you get, how far you go, or anything else you go through, that you’ve got an elfin mother here who will always love you and miss you and be proud to call you her son.” I only smiled weakly, too ravaged to speak.

Finally, I looked up. My sisters had joined us, silently, each looking lost and desolate. Stiffly I stepped over to Anas, the oldest sister and the second sibling of the family. She didn’t move as I approached and wrapped my arms around her, thinking of happier days.

For a moment she allowed herself to be hugged, but then yanked herself away. Before I could so much as blink, she slapped me across the face.

“How could you?” she exclaimed, near tears. “How could you bring such dishonor to us? How could you go against everything we believe, and bring such pain to your family?”
“Anas, I never wanted… I- I don’t-“ I stumbled desperately.

“No. Don’t even try! You’ll only tear me up further.” Her tears flowed truly now, bringing me close as well.
“Please, Anas, don’t leave me like this,” I begged. How I’d feared this… “Don’t-“

“Don’t speak to me!” she snapped, storming off towards the twining staircase, for a moment she hesitated, though, her shoulders rigid with indecision. She glanced at me once and stifled a sob. “Oh, Kithkanan- how… how can you just disappear from our lives?”

She pounded up the stairs, disappearing before I could say another word. My spirits sank to a new low. Already I felt as though the world had turned away from me. I’d always been so close to my siblings. I had known this would be hard for them, but I desperately wanted good final words with them. Final words had to last a lifetime…

“Riana, please, can- can you say good-bye to your brother?” I asked quietly, not sure I could handle another feminine break-down when I was so close to losing control myself. Riana was both the youngest sister and the youngest sibling, therefore the farthest in age from me. I knew she’d always looked up to me as much as anything.

She smiled shakily, trembling. “No, I cannot say good-bye. Only au revoir, in hopes of seeing you again someday,” she said softly, sidling next to me and throwing her arms around my waist. “You’ll always be my big brother who taught me so much and showed me much more.”

“And you’ll always be the little girl who was also my shadow,” I teased softly, tousling her hair. It would be hard for her- for all of them, really- having a brother who was an outcast, but I hoped I left her enough for her to remember me by. All the things I’d wished to teach her, like shooting a bow or using a sword, would fall to Galad now, and soon I’d be no more than a distant childhood memory…

“Come, eldest, you must pack,” Mother urged gently. “Gear yourself for survival- winter will be upon us before too long. I will get provisions and supplies enough to last you.” I jogged up the stairs to do as I was bid, Riana clinging to one hand. I bit my lip as we passed Anas’ closed door, unable to ignore the muffled sobs escaping. Poor Anas…

Riana’s little hand squeezed tighter. “Don’t grieve more, my brother,” she sighed, glancing over her shoulder, then continued sadly, “Anas never was strong.”

“My poor sisters,“ I muttered. Entering my room, I grabbed my traveling pack and began filling it with warm clothing and anything else of use, plus a few small objects of sentimental value. The idea that I couldn’t comfort them now, that I was the source of this pain, was difficult to grasp. The realities of banishment suddenly began to lay it’s full weight on me.

“Don’t worry about us.“ Riana took it upon herself to check my pack and make sure I wasn’t forgetting anything. “I will always cherish your memory and role model. And Anas, she will recover with time.” Then she untied the pigtails in her long hair and coiled the ribbon in a side pouch, along with the painting of Mother on a small disk of wood.

“You are wise beyond your years, my young sister,” I commented, double checking my weapons. They would be vitally important, once I was on my own in the world…

“Of course not,” Riana said, plopping herself down on my bed. She untied the colorful thread bracelet Anas had made her only a few months ago and also added it to my bag. “I just have good sense. Father says so, and Galad agrees.”

Galad… I wished he had been home- he was my younger brother, between Anas and Riana. We had always been best friends as well as brothers. He had been accepted among the palace guard warriors, though, and was out about his duty now. Yet part of me was glad, because I was afraid he would send me off with bitter regards as well. That I was sure I couldn’t handle.

Hi there! I’m excited to read the rest of this... And whaddya know? I'm the first reviewer!
Ok, here we go...

I was escorted to my house by the same guards. Once the door opened, they left to go about their business. I was allowed to finish up my affairs with my family privately.

I stood tense in the entry, the door closed behind me. I wasn’t sure what to expect. My mother was there first- she flung herself around me, catching me in a strong, suffocating hug. Though she made no sound, I could feel the silent sops racking her slim body.

Try to avoid starting so many sentences with “I,” to avoid such a “I do this, I do that” kinda feeling.

Her pretty, petite, angular elvin face and almond-shaped amber eyes, framed by waves of strawberry blonde hair cascading down her back.

Here we go again with the waaaaay too many words in a sentence. Also, we already assume she’s an elf, so you don’t need to tell us again. What makes a face “elvin?” Decide that, and then describe it, but make sure you do it in the way another elf would. This came up in the first one as well. Have you ever heard someone describe someone else like, “Her dark, human eyes were XXX...”? I don’t think so. Keep this in mind.

bring such dishonor to us

Should be “dishonour,” I believe, but feel free to ignore this if I’m wrong.

-“ I stumbled desperately

This is very, very, nitpicky, but the quote mark is flipped here. That kinda stuff just jumps out at me, for whatever reason. 

another feminine break-down

I believe “breakdown” is one word.

Only au revoir

So elves speak French now? If this is what you had planned, fine, but doesn’t “au revoir” just mean “goodbye” or “farewell”? How is this any different?

“My poor sisters,“
worry about us.“

Too more flipped quote marks.

I grabbed my traveling pack and began filling it with warm clothing and anything else of use, plus a few small objects of sentimental value. The idea that I couldn’t comfort them now, that I was the source of this pain, was difficult to grasp. The realities of banishment suddenly began to lay it’s full weight on me.

“Travelling” has two ls. Also, in the last sentence, “it’s” should be “its.” It’s is a contraction of “it is,” and as such, does not work in this instance.
Ok—nitpicks done. 
Overall:
While I still like your story, I feel like this bit could be a lot more emotionally charged. Since there is relatively little action, you need a way to keep our attention. You’re doing a pretty good job developing characters, but I would like a little more explanation as to Anas’s reaction. Another thing I noticed was the overall stiffness of the dialogue. It may be that in your world, elves speak in an old-fashioned and formal way, but you need to make it consistent and sound natural. Try acting out the scene out loud. Anyone within earshot will give you weird looks, but I’ve found that helps sometimes.
I would also shorten this bit quite a lot. Since nothing is really happening, all you’re using the page space for is character development and emotional conflict. This is, of course, important, but try to find a way to fit it in when other things are happening, or risk losing your reader’s attention.
Your MC could definitely use some more development. This is difficult in first person, but it can be done, so I’d like to see more of it. Also, watch your mention of “elven” things. Try to make it so we can tell things are elvin without telling us.
And lastly, since this is getting rather long, watch the use of “I”. I found over 50 uses of this when I searched. Your piece is only 1,000 words long, which means you’re using it waaayyy too much, especially to start sentences. This gets better towards the end of the piece, but still, be careful.
Again, when you post more, feel free to tell me when you post more of this. I'd be happy to come and review some more.

See you around!

Lupis

This part seemed stiffer than the first. You still use 'elvin' too much to describe things, and the scene could be a little more emotionally charged if your protagonist isn't the unemotional type but I'm not going to reiterate what canislupis pointed out.

Her pretty, petite, angular elvin face and almond-shaped amber eyes, framed by waves of strawberry blonde hair cascading down her back.

I think you should just delete the whole sentence. Kithkanan's mother is only going to be present for a short time, if you really wanted to describe her, how about interposing it with a reminiscence?

Riana was both the youngest sister and the youngest sibling, therefore the farthest in age from me.

Kinda self-evident. I didn't like when you stopped to describe the family relations, it seemed out-of-place and cumbersome. Perhaps you could include the details on Kithkanan's siblings at the beginning.
Where is Kithkanan's father? When I reread it, Riana mentioned him, but you did not explain his absence.
This scene is necessary for a sense of continuity, but in and of itself it isn't really important. Handling the unimportant scenes with as much care as the important ones will make your story more enjoyable to read.