In the shadows preview... (12+)

There was a wide courtyard – containing bright red azalea, Cherry blossom, and many other beautiful flowers – to the entrance of the temple

This is bugging me. I think it's the way this is laid out. It doesn't flow well enough for me to get lost in the beautiful scene you have pictured. The way you broke it up with dashes makes you blink to another topic, and "to the entrance" makes you have to look back to the first half of the sentence. I think this would flow a little more smoothly if you used commas and added a word or changed the wording a bit, for example, here's how I would change it, changing it as little as possible:

There was a wide courtyard (no dash) containing bright red azalea, Cherry blossom, and many other beautiful flowers leading to the entrance of the temple

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the gate into the gardens

The wording here makes you think that the hooded figures are always walking into the gardens. I believe what you meant to say, although I could be wrong, was with another word, as in:

the gate leading into the gardens

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nobody was allowed to step foot in the temple. (Unless they were a traitor admitted in the temple by one of the temple's own, member or Master amongst others.)

I have multiple nitpicks with this. First, I these would be easier to read without the parentheses and as one sentence. I trying to figure out how to explain why that would be, but English isn't my best subject so I have no clue. It would look more like this:

nobody was allowed to step foot in the temple unless they were a traitor admitted in the temple by one of the temple's own, member or Master amongst others.

That still doesn't flow quite right for me. Let's continue. The end, "member or Master amongst others," is confusing. I think what you meant to convey was that members, like monks or ninjas of the temple, or masters, like the teachers, and others are the ones letting the traitors in. I think this needs to be reworded to say that more simply. Example, though this may not be completely correct:

one of the temple's own; members, Masters, or others

Also, why would a traitor be admitted? Who, or what, would they be betraying? This sentence is good at not giving you too much information, but it also doesn't give you enough. It leaves us with questions not answered, which can either be free range for the imagination, or really irritating. Here, I personally found it a bit irritating.

As I reworded the sentence, it looks like this:

nobody was allowed to step foot in the temple unless they were a traitor admitted in the temple by one of the temple's own; members, Masters, or others.

As opposed to:

nobody was allowed to step foot in the temple. (Unless they were a traitor admitted in the temple by one of the temple's own, member or Master amongst others.)

Doesn't that seem smoother?

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The men and women who did step in

Hang on. Didn't you just tell us that no one could enter? Contradicting yourself confuses the reader, because you know what you're talking about, but we rely entirely on what you put on paper. If you say the grass is pink, then we will realize that in this world, the grass is pink. But then if you say it's blue in the next paragraph, we won't know which color it really is unless you elaborate or check yourself. Be sure to proofread your work for things like this.

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NINJA’S

It's unnecessary for you to capitalize this word. Also, all-caps can make things seem immature (I used all-caps when I was nine and didn't think there was anything wrong with them). When you want to emphasize something, using italics is generally the more professional way to go. I read a book in which all-caps were only used in a single sentence, and it didn't seem wrong to me because of the intense situation. However, one time in one book in an entire series is as often as you need to do that. Emphasis is not needed for this word.

Also, cut the apostrophe. It would be used to show that "ninjas" is possessive, while without the apostrophe it's plural.

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Hard training ninja’s.

Again, drop the apostrophe. Also, "Hard training" is a bit confusing. It could mean that they train well and hard, like you work hard, or it could mean that they train like a soldier, hard like tough and strong. I think this could be fixed by switching it to past tense like the rest of the story and adding a dash, becoming:

Hard-trained ninjas.

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fights; Kayuki

The semicolon would make more sense as a period.

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trainee ninja’s in the courtyard.

Again with apostrophe.

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Of your third paragraph, the first sentence is wonderful. However, the rest is too much of an info dump. It's really hard to give all the information and details you have in your head without just giving it all at once. One phrase I heard all the time when I first posted my works on here was "Show, don't tell." The link is to an article written by CastlesInTheSky, one which I find very helpful. Show, don't tell, basically means that instead of you, the author, telling us all the details, have it shown to us in the surrounds, characters' thoughts and feelings, etc. This doesn't go for all the time, but it does apply to a lot of times. Like here. It wouldn't seem like such a encyclopedia entry if you showed it to us, for example, I would do it something like this:

Death birds were long raptor like flying animals with long beaks, black eyes and sharpened patterns marking them on their wings, each unique to their breed.

Would end up something like:

She thought back to the last time she saw one, with its long, raptor-like body strong and menacing, and its long beak and black eyes piercing, even in memory. The patterns on its wings glinted in the sunlight, showing its breed and dengerousness.

It really puts you into the story and world this way, and makes things more believable and emotional.

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The fourth paragraph is great, but not really a paragraph. I think that the fourth and fifth paragraphs could stand to be one paragraph. It would make your paragraph longer and easier on the eye. (If I say paragraph one more time right now, somebody slap me.)

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It’s happened once before, and if anybody speaks of the unfortunate being that suffered several blows to vital organs, they will have to miss all three meals of the day. That is… if anybody overhears you speaking of it. Many people do talk of it.

Kayuki knows that for sure.

In most of your story, you write in past tense:
"Bob had a lawnmower."
Here, you write in present tense:
"Bob has a lawnmower."

I like getting sucked into a story so that I can feel the breeze of the hurricane smashing the pirate ship to pieces or whatever. When you switch tenses, it snaps the reader out of that little fantasy world, making them remember that it's just a book and giving them a good point to set the book down. You don't want your reader to set the book down. Also, it makes your work seem amateurish, like you don't know to keep in one tense. A way to write this so that it doesn't change would be:

It’s had happened once before, and if anybody speaks spoke of the unfortunate being that suffered several blows to vital organs, they will would have to miss all three meals of the day. That is… if anybody overhears overheard you speaking of it. Many people do[/color] would talk of it.

Kayuki knows knew that for sure.

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They tapped their swords on the ground, Kayuki repeated this, and twirled to show her privileges.

First off, what? What a... unique... sign of respect, I think. I'm not sure what that is. If you could tell us, that would be a big help, because right now I'm just guessing.

Also, she twirled to show her privileges. Um, what are her 'privileges'? Does she had a sticker on her back or something to show she has these privileges? Elaborating on these things would be so very helpful. And it might make the sword tapping and swirling make sense.

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‘Enter,’ the guard to the left of the fighting ring entrance said. ‘Blessed be.’

I don't have anything wrong with this, except maybe that with speaking you should use quotation marks ["Words."] instead of apostrophes ['Words.']. I really like this line, because it shows you what the ethical basis of these ninjas and people is. "Blessed be." I like that line. A lot.

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Kayuki nodded and stepped into the fighting ring. The breeze ruffled her cloak as she observed her opponent. He was lanky, cloaked with his hood down, but mouth masked, showing only his eyes, eyebrows and his hair, which was a dirty blond.

Kayuki lowered into her fighting stance, holding the sword firmly in her hands, arms raised over her head. Her opponent did the same.

Again, I think these could stand to be put together, with the second "Kayuki" becoming a pronoun. Also, what I put in red is telling, not showing. Maybe she noticed the sweat sticking his dirty blond hair to his forehead? Or maybe she could hear his breathing through his half-mask? Either way, give us a little more description from Kayuki's perspective, not just a general description.

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It showed that they had fought together, and during sparring, it was important in case one was hurt. (Unlikely with the tips of the weapons being blunt.)

You put things in parentheses in the beginning, too. I have the same nitpick here. That may just be me so you can decide, but I must comment.

Maybe you could elaborate why the name was important in case on was hurt. Why would these things need to be known?

Also, saying that it's unlikely someone will be hurt at the beginning of a fight isn't a chapter ending that makes me say, "Wow, what happens next?". Not every chapter end has to be a cliffhanger, in fact, not one has to be, but this end doesn't even make me want to continue. At least have them start the fight or something.