Her lush white teeth scraped against my neck, her pale hands grasping at the material on my coat desperately. I shivered with intense fear and my wings fluttered, and then the searing pain in my neck hit me. They came from two exact points, and I screamed.
“Vampire!” My wings unfurled faster than they ever had before and I flew skywards, my feet hitting the ground behind her a few seconds later. Her eyes were black with such intense thirst. The warm blood still trickled down my neck, and she couldn’t keep focused on my eyes for more than a few seconds. My fear was visible; it was running through my veins and my expression every time I moved. As I glanced my side the blur of my black wings fluttering was in the side of my vision. She took one pace forward, then another, and another. The small steps got closer and closer together until I screamed and ran away, my wings plucking me off the ground every few seconds. A sharp feeling hit my neck along with a warm breath breathing into it.
“Don’t. Run.” Tempest whispered, with a voice deep and silk like, but with certain urgency. My feet scraped against the gravel path, my eyes fixed on scenery ahead, but my vision got more blurred with each sharp draw of pain against my neck. Each one of my movements or struggles got slower, until it even took a few seconds to blink. I turned to the side and saw her eyes closed, small trickles of blood running down my neck. I started to cry quietly, a few tears following the lines of my cheeks. I was going to die.
“Please….” I pleaded, but she just gripped me tighter. It hurt me mentally and physically. I thought she was going to be there for me, be my friend. But a vampire? She would just hurt me! I had just been her prey all this time. My eyes closed, and all I could see was the midday sun through my eyelids. A few seconds later, I could see nothing at all.
I woke up with my eyes to the sky, it dusk. Not many clouds were in the sky. Trees were hanging above my view with apple hanging off them, and orchard perhaps. I had seen one in the distance. I looked down at myself. My body was laid on a carved out log, a blanket around me. The warmth was comforting. I ran my hand down my neck, and found that gauze covered the sharp teeth marks on the side. My eyes opened slowly, and Tempest was sitting on a log on the other side of the fire. Her head was in her hands, but I could see that her eyes were brighter. She looked well. A burning fire was in the middle of us, that was were the warmth was radiating from obviously.
“Lexus, I…” She looked up and I could see now that her face was tear-stained. I had never seen her look so guilty.
“You don’t need to apologize, Tempest. It is what you were born as, as was I an angel. But why didn’t you tell me? It wouldn’t have hurt me so much if you had.” Her eyes returned to the ground, and a tear ran down her face. I sat up slowly and leant back, trying to look as well as I could. I couldn’t bear to see her like this. I know she had hurt me, but she was my higher and I needed to respect her needs. I was just like her little servant, but she hadn’t given me that formal title yet. And, at this time, the servant needed to comfort their master by keeping quiet.
“You wouldn’t have treated me the same! I read your thoughts as I fed off you, the thoughts of fears, the flashes of the word ‘monster’ running through your head. If you think that, maybe you are the monster!” The words hurt me, and on the last word I flinched. She threw her head back into her hands and cried more violently, so loud I could hear her sobbing and see her chest heave. I got up and walked over to her, sitting down next to her saddened person. Her sleeves were wet and half way down her arm; I could see a slash on the left.
“What is that?” I asked, running my fingers down the line. She hit them away.
“I had to give the blood back, didn’t I?! When we feed, the amount of blood we take doubles. So I gave you the other half back.” Her voice was still bitter, but she had calmed down a little. She buried her head in my chest.
you should decide! This is very good! really gripping and i don't think there's much bad about it... just wrack your brains and I'm sure you'll be able to spark up an idea for the next bit. keep writing!
Oh, and take out white. They're teeth, no duh they'll be white [unless, you make them yellow or gold or something, but unless specified, people usually assume they're white])
Um, wacky sentence my friend! I can now see that his wings don't work properly, but this doesn't sound right. 'until I screamed and ran away'. Wow. I'd rather not go into the corniness of this, but this part SERIOUSLY needs help. Oh, and put a period after away (which I do so hope you will change) instead of a comma. Also, I'd change the wings part. All in all, this sentence needs some pretty serious help, sad to say.)
