Crisp and Clean
A retired Janitor named John May sat drinking and smoking on his front porch. His faded stone blue eyes scanned the road for his guest. His lips trembled slightly and his hand wasn’t quite steady as he lifted his drink to his faded dull pink lips. He wiped snot from his nose with his tattered flannel shirt. It looked like a silvery snail’s trail. John absently flicked his greasy hair from his eyes with one hard callused hand that held his glass of scotch. Scotch splashed onto his face.
“Bugger and damn” John said wiping the scotch from his face with his flannel shirt, the congealed snot was transferred onto his face. John didn’t seem to notice. He was never a bright lad as a kid and he still wasn’t to this day.
“Hey Beth get me another drink would you?” John said cocking his neck to the front door so his wife could hear him better.
John loved his wife, when she sang her warm inviting honey sweet voice would bring John to tears of joy. John could here singing now in the kitchen ‘Hush now baby“ one of John‘s favourite songs that he loved her to sing. He had never laid a hand on her. Johns own mother had brought him up to treat women with the up most respect. John had a terrible temper but he had always controlled it around Beth, sometimes he would go out to wood shed and bash piles of wood into kindling. The axe striking the block of wood always made John happy the way it sounded, so crisp so clean. His hands would be has red as apples on some days and he would have blisters as big throat lozenges.
John decided that he could wait for another drink and he placed his glass down on the tiny chipped table an act that he had done so many times the past five years.
A car pulled up into John’s driveway (a sporty red BMW) it glistened like a jewel in the morning sun. It seemed to show off the man’s immense wealth.
John eyed the man with vicious contempt. His eyes showed hatred and fear. The handsome young man walked up the steps his expensive shoes clicking on the cement. The steps made a tired groaning noise as the man approached.
“Good Morning Sir” the man said sticking out his hand.
John eyed the hand solemnly and with deep concentration (like it may curl into a fist and punch him.)
The fingernails were neatly manicured.
John slowly and deliberately raised his hand to be shook.
“Soft as a babies bottom” John whispered with a slight smile.
“Sorry?” Asked the man in the charcoal coloured expensive suit.
“Nothing” John said dropping the hand suddenly as if it had turned icy cold.
The man looked awkwardly away out towards the street where two boys were playing with water pistols. One was soaked like he had plunged into a pool still clad in his clothes.
John spat onto the veranda.
The man snapped his head back in a hurry.
“Why you here?” John said. Looking down his feet.
“I umm, am here to represent you in a court of law” the man who was obviously a lawyer said.
“Don’t need no lawyer” John then looked up and added “You know what I mean?”
“Sorry I don’t”
“Look here buddy, Beth’s inside making me lunch and I’m hungry” John then paused then spoke slowly and in a much quieter tone “Go away”
“Listen Mr May I know you are dealing with a lot right now but..”
“Shut up” John said leaping to his feet with surprising grace that even bewildered himself.
The lawyer cringed back like old man John was some rabid vicious dog.
“You come to my house in your fancy car and your crisp black suit” John was crying as he yelled
“You don’t know real work Mr, no sir”
“Mr May please be reasonable we can work through this” the lawyer crooned his face was an expression of revulsion and fear. But his eyes remained composed and wary like cat that had been sprayed with water by a young child.
“No you can’t help” John said shaking his head back and forth.
John opened his mouth to speak but he stopped half way through his intake of breath he paused. A tear rain down his cheek like a melted diamond.
“Yeah coming Beth, just dealing with this here man who will be going now” he said turning his gaze towards the Mr Fancy Lawyer with the crisp charcoal suit. The lawyer noticed that he was pleading for him to go not by mouth but just his eyes, they were blood shot and tired.
“Okay it seem that you’re tired Mr May, I’ll take my leave” The lawyer said eyeing John with no pity. He was glad he was leaving. The place felt eerie and sad.
John grunted a goodbye as the man got into his shiny red car.
John watched the man go.
He sat slumped over in his chair for half an hour he dozed in and out sleep. He could here Beth singing from the other room. Her voice sounded just like her mother’s when she used sing him a lullaby and kiss his forehead.
John’s gut grumbled hungrily.
Beth will have lunch ready for me by now, John thought sitting up. His back and bony knees popped like a kids toy cap gun would.
John grasped the doors handle like he had done so many times he had lived here.
He stepped into the foyer. The house was rather cold inside. Cold enough that John’s breath could be seen-like he was puffing out cigarette smoke.
He hadn’t lit the fire in over a week. He didn’t like going out to the wood shed now.
“Beth” John inquired. His voice echoed down the hall. Nothing stirred.
“Must be sleeping” John murmured to himself as not to wake Beth.
John’s boots clicked on the wooden floor. The sounds were multiplied by the sheer quiet of the rooms. His boots kicked absently at scattered McDonalds burgers boxes that littered the floor.
John reached the kitchen. He scanned the table which held an assortment of dirty plates and half eaten fast food wrappers. Flies scattered as John approached the table. He seemed not to notice the flies or the litter of junk on the table.
“Beth” John roared. He stopped and listened.
“Bloody bitch” John spat.
How could she do this she hasn’t made my lunch! John thought angrily. He opened his mouth to roar another command up the stairs where Beth was no doubt sleeping.
What if she’s left you. A voice crooned in the back of John’s head.
“No she wouldn’t dare, she loves me” John said but his eyes had taken on a distant look.
“You get what I mean?” John continued.
“She loves me” John said finally.
John no longer felt hungry instead he felt happy. He concluded that he would go and chop some wood. Beth will be down in a while and I’ll smooth things over with her. John thought absently, he was already at the door.
The wood shed was out the back. Its roof was made of rusted old tin and one of the shed’s sides had sagged to one side like a beer gut.
John lumbered over to the shed. He had a wicked little grin upon his face. He quickened his pace. He wanted to get to his axe.
John loved to sharpen his axe until the edge gleamed menacingly like sharks teeth.
John reached the shed. His heart beating like a bass drum in his chest. He fumbled in the dark for the switch. He located the switch and flicked it. The shed was bathed in glorious white light. John fervently rushed for his axe thinking that the lawyer man had come back and was hiding in his shed.
The touch of the axes handle soothed John. He felt calmer immediately more there.
He got a piece of wood from the stack and immediately began to strike the wood. It felt so crisp so, clean.
He laughed madly. He could here Beth‘s honey sweet voice singing.
He continued, gaining more speed.
Beth was there too, she watched her beloved John from the top the sheds roof her head hung to the top of the shed by a rusty hook. Her cheeks had sagged considerably like rubber that has melted then had hardened again. Flies buzzed around like she was a bright lantern. Her tongue was gone John had buried it in the back yard.
Never again would Beth sing 'Hush now baby" in her honey sweet tone. Which had made John cry, but then had filled him with rage when he had caught her cheating. Serenading this man as they both lay in his bed exhausted from their whirlwind affair. Her voice had echoed up the stairs as John himself climbed them, stalked them for a choice of a better word. Axe in hand. His only friend now.
John could remember how her head had come off, so crisp so clean. Just like a block of wood did.
THE END
