Realistic Dream Prolouge

Prolouge


“I was about my same age in my dream. We were driving back from a park like “Jurassic Park” where a dinosaur had attacked me. We were in Utah but there were waterfalls every where and it was sort of tropical and deserty at the same time.
That was when my parents told me that I had a different bloodline. This man was related to me and he was my dad’s long lost brother (which is strange because my dad is an only child) and he had two girls and a boy. The oldest girl was seventeen, then the second oldest was fifteen, and the boy was thirteen.
We heard that this man was a major killer and had left a note outside my window saying, “If you’re a 30 flower, I’ll find you, and I’ll kill you.”
I had no idea what the whole flower thing meant but I figured it was some kind of ranking. My brother told me to carry a sniper around and I did some of the time, but the man was coming to pick me up along with his children. We waited and my nieces, Nadejda, Isabel, and Helen were there.
Someone knocked on the door and I quickly put away my sniper and opened the door. There was a girl with a darker complexion, black hair, and brown eyes. This was the oldest who was seventeen.
“They’re waiting in the car,” she told me and we went downstairs to grab my stuff. We were taking them out to the car and I saw another note. It read: “50 flower, 20 tiger” I stuffed it into my pocket and we put my stuff in the trunk. I saw the thirteen year old boy, who looked an awful lot like a boy in my math class named Trent.
Everything was so noisy, my nieces were crying and my family was too. I didn’t want to go, but I had been seeing this man everywhere. I suddenly had flashbacks in the dream, or they were supposed to be visions. We were at the “Jurassic Park” and I had seen the man. We were driving and I had seen the man. Every time I saw the man.
My nieces ran up to me and hugged me, and I was scared. My parents told me not to be, and that even though the man was a killer, he wouldn’t dare hurt me. I was holding back tears and hugging my parents. The seventeen-year-old girl tapped me on the shoulder, and then I woke up.”

I told my psychiatrist the story. I had been having troubling dreams lately, and confessing to my overreacting mom, didn’t help at all.
“Well, do you know anyone in this dream?” she asked me.
I rolled my eyes and nodded. “Yes, I told you. Trent like the guy in my math class and my nieces.”
“Does this reflect your life in some way?”
I rolled my eyes again. The same old questions, blah blah blah blah. I hated this, but what I didn’t know, was when she asked, “Does this reflect your life in some way?” an answer would come to me in the next few years. And I didn’t think that the answer yes was a very positive one.

Heya Fire, welcome to YWS!

Terribly interesting prologue you have set up here. However, I was a tad confused on certain parts.I understand this is your MC's dream, and dreams are always mumbled together but you have to clarify some things up.

a dinosaur had attacked me.

What dinosaur are you talking about? You mention Jurassic Park, but mention a dino once! Out of the blue!

This man was related to me and he was my dad’s long lost brother

What man? Whose "this" man?

If you’re a 30 flower

I hope you will explain in the future what the thirty flower or twenty tiger means. Also, the main reason I was pointing this little part out was because you should spell out thirty. Any number under one hundred should be spelt out

Trent like the guy in my math class and my nieces.”

What guy in math class? You never mentioned Trent or the guy from math class. Careful not to skim over important details or you may lose your reader!

~~~~~

Short and sweet this review is. I think. Or is it spicy? Anyroad:

I think you should put the dream part into italics because of the way you began writing after your MC was finished it was like the character was thinking back on what had happened. Perhaps you should change that and when the MC is speaking with the psychiatrist make it more present than past sounding. Hope I didn't confuse you

Also, I took note on how you never put quotations at the end of your paragraphs. Good job! However, at the beginning of the new ones, you need to put quotation marks or else your reader may think you forgot them at the end of the last paragraph. It also shows you're character is still speaking.

Not sure if your character is male or female. However, like a prologue should, I like you how you revealed some of the plot to your reader so we know what your story is going to be about. And you left off with an interesting note

Also, try not to skim over important facts and make sure to clarify things! Like I briefly mentioned above.

Good luck and I hope I didn't confuse you. Little tired Again, welcome to YWS.

Have fun!

Meadow

Hi Fire, Welcome to YWS!

Random comment - Do you know how many users that have the word 'fire' in their user names in this site?

Okay, this is really interesting prologue. But first, I need to clarify something. The first few paragraphs, before she/he talks to the psychiatrist, was it her/him recalling the dream to the psychiatrist or was she just remembering all of it.

Mistakes

We were driving back from a park like “Jurassic Park” where a dinosaur had attacked me.

It should be 'The Jurassic Park'
The main point I pulled this out is this sentence seems a bit comical coming out of the blue like that. I know you didn't intend it write it like that, but I think its a rather abrupt sentence. Please try to elaborate more and make it sound more serious.

it was sort of tropical and deserty at the same time.

Make it, "It seemed like a combination of a tropical and a desert like environment."

This man was related to me and he was my dad’s long lost brother (which is strange because my dad is an only child) and he had two girls and a boy.

I think, as I suppose you wanted us to think, that this man is suppose to be his/her real father, right? Then change it like, "This man, who was supposedly my real father,........"

My brother told me to carry a sniper around and I did some of the time

I'm assuming that your character is a girl and is a child here. Won't it look awkward to carry a sniper around, because snipers are really big. Plus, its illegal even. Just say its a pistol or a hand gun.

I told my psychiatrist the story. I had been having troubling dreams lately, and confessing to my overreacting mom, didn’t help at all.

The first sentence, make it "I finished telling my psychiatrist the story." As you obviously finished saying it.

The second sentence, make it like this. "I had been having quite lot of troubling dreams lately, and confessing to my over-reactive mom, haven't helped at all."

And I didn’t think that the answer yes was a very positive one.

Don't say you didn't think, because that implies that the character knows that the answer is gonna come to her. Make it, "I didn't know then that the answer would do her any good at all"

Plot

This is very interesting plot for me. Mysterious, yet seemingly real. I don't know, but it just felt nice reading the prologue. The way you wrote the cliffhanger at the end was brilliant. It captures the readers, makes them read the actual story. Well done in creating one in a really good way.

Overall

As this is only the prologue I'm not going deep into the characters or the description but when you start the chapters, drop descriptive sentences here and there to add a bit of colour into the characters and the scenery.
In the overall point, I think this is going to be an excellent story.

Good luck