this is a section quite a bit through my book but im unsure on it so please tell me what you think. Lots of comments are welcome.
Thank you
Blackness. Never ending blackness.
It consumed my thoughts, my everything as it clouded all I knew. I didn’t know if my eyes were open or shut or even if I had a body at all. I just knew that I was cold. So cold. And my soul was drifting.
Black.
So this was what being dead was really like. I felt no pain; I couldn’t feel any part of me. Where was the light at the end of the tunnel? Where were the angels calling my name? Maybe witches didn’t get to go to heaven.
As I drifted, in a world I would be forever bound to, I felt the urge to cry even though I knew I couldn’t.
I wanted to weep so much – for mum, for Alistair, for Nina and Nicholas, for the other people who had arrived at this same fate but especially for one person. Me. God that sounds selfish. But it was true. I wanted to weep for all the things I would never be able to do, the people I would never see, the life I would never live. I was dead. Forever.
My life had ended with a bang – in the literal and metaphoric sense. What had Nicholas said about me?
‘I was made for so much more.’
Maybe dying is a beautiful thing. If I was meant to die to save people then they better have been save or so help me-
Burning.
My thoughts shattered like glass, broken as quickly as they had been formed.
Pain. Terrible, horrible pain.
The blackness that consumed me pushed harder but already I saw the edges fading.
Pain.
I heard a screaming sound. How could I feel like I was dying when I was already dead?
Pain.
Make it stop! Please someone make it stop!
And then I felt something. The numbness I was so sure of started to cease as the pain grew. It made me realise something. I had a body. I felt my skin go alight although I was certain it wasn’t.
My legs I was so glad to feel started to thrash, my arms flailing as something cold held them down. Or someone.
“Lexie!”
I recognized the name. It was mine! Lexie. I tried to tell them I could hear them but some screaming from somewhere stopped it.
“Lexie, oh Lexie. Please!” Alistair. My Alistair.
“Come on Lexie, come on!” Nicholas. My Nicholas.
The pain that had been so unbearable started to calm.
Light.
I gasped as my eyes flashed open, my back arching. My body was not convulsing as much as it had been. I started coughing, my body aching to rest.
Two heads floated above me – Alistair and Nicholas. Alistair’s eyes were dry with the tears he couldn’t shed. Nicholas didn’t even try to hide the tracks that stained his cheeks.
“Hey.” The word was barely audible as it left my chapped lips.
“Lexie.” Alistair’s beautiful face secretly told me of the pain he had been feeling, and I smiled.
Nina’s face appeared, “Lexie.” Her wise face betrayed only a hint of sadness as she did her best to hide the rest.
I coughed again, my chest hurting as I did so and Nina frowned, “Someone pick her up; she needs to go home.”
Obediently Alistair scooped me up, his hard arms welcoming as I was cradled against his chest, my body weak.
“Is it over?” I asked.
It was then that I realised Tia and Samuel were there as Samuel’s face was for once rid of his sarcastic anger as his eyes were stripped to show the pain he was really feeling. I knew I wasn’t the only war casualty. The others had seen things no one should ever see.
“It’s over,” Samuel replied, now in human form. “You killed half of them when you kinda exploded and then suddenly they all ran away.”
I looked at their faces, the cuts and bruises and bloodstains that was evident on all of them but Alistair. At least they were alive.
I heard the cracking sound of branches as Alistair carried me home through the woods, my head nested tiredly against his body.
“Who did this to you, Lexie?” No one could miss the anger in Alistair’s voice.
I tried to form an answer, my eyes involuntarily closing whenever I tried to look up at his beautiful face.
I felt Nicholas’s presence as we traipsed through the woods. I knew they were purposely avoiding the clearing, so we wouldn’t have to see the destruction they had left behind.
“Tell us so we can go find him and-”
Nina cut her grandson off, “ How could a Death witch convince everyone they his was their leader?”
“It wasn’t a Death witch,” I murmured, not sure is anyone had heard.
“What was that, Lex?” Alistair’s soft voice woke me again.
I coughed, trying to project my voice as Alistair’s strong arms kept me peacefully still, “I said that he wasn’t a death witch.”
I saw the light change as the moonlight reached us and I could see we were out of the woods.
“What do you mean?”
I attempted an answer but a huge wave of fatigue washed over me, stopping all speech.
“Lexie?”
I made a small sound but I was already falling, my eyes shut.
“Let her rest,” Nina’s voice sounded a long distance away and my mumble of agreement didn’t so much as leave my mouth.
I did need my rest.
I had just died after all.
One thing you've done very well is capture my attention. I'd love to read more of this. In fact, if you post it, please tell me, and I'll come back to review the rest of it. 
