Momma

Hey This is just some random piece I came up with. It doesn't reflect my personal views, I just thought it was nice and gloomy so I wrote it Have at it, be ruthless, but most importantly, enjoy!

Momma

Hatred tears worlds apart. That’s what Momma tells me, anyway. She says we hate our Earth and our blessed lives, and in turn, Mother Nature hates us back. It’s the reason for tornados and earthquakes and countless people dead. All this technology isn’t God’s will, and it’ll be the end of us.
I’m not so naive that I believe it. Momma and her God come up with weak explanations for awful things happening to the people we love, or could love, if given half a chance. Always mankind to blame, never the Earth just being itself. There must constantly be a justification for all the world’s tyranny. We did something, or said something we shouldn’t have, and now God’s punishing us.
I pity her. Always praying, and begging God for mercy on her soul. What has she done? What have any of us done? She’s a Republican, goes to church three times a week, helps the needy above her own children – all these being traits the Lord approves of – and still he hates us.
Oh, no, child, Momma says. Oh yeah, that’s right, isn’t it? Never hate. Love is what God represents. Because his son died on the cross so that we may live. He loves everyone, no matter what race, gender or creed.
He loves us and forgives us, and kills us by the millions, right Momma?
There's a demon in me, she says. My cynicism and lack of faith are all the work of a society that’s lost its way. But I mustn’t fear, for I am God’s daughter and he loves me just the same.
What does she know of real love, of human love? People hate and hate, and we are the root of all catastrophe. And God, he is all adoration and joy. Does that even reach anyone? It sure as hell doesn’t reach Momma, ‘cause she’s all talk. If God were her salvation she wouldn’t be such a blameful, pathetic woman. And if God were light, he wouldn’t make her life so dark.
Our planet is crashing down soon, she says, and we’re all burning with it.
Hatred tears worlds apart. People the chew up earth and Mother Nature spits us back out. Momma believes this with all her heart. I don’t know about that, but a hatred of sorts did tear my world apart. Her hatred tore me apart, and no divine spirit or higher power is ever going to fix that. As far as I’m concerned, life can end tomorrow and I won’t care. She took everything beautiful and made it a sin. Who'd want to live in a world like that anyway?

Hi, Chelsea!

I have to say that I really like this. It may not be what I would usually call a story, you know, with action and conflict and everything, more like a collection of thoughts. But I like those thoughts. I'm not a religious person, but I'm open for everything, really. So even though I have thought about this kind of stuff quite a lot in the past, this made me think more. I always like it when something someone has written makes me think. Who wouldn't?

So, I can't really look at this as an actual story, although I do think that with expansion you could make this something bigger, maybe.

He loves us and forgives us, and kills us by the millions, right Momma?

I think this part should have its own paragraph, because the narrator says this, not Momma.

She made it not worth living to begin with.

This sentence is confusing... you should reword it.

Anyway, I enjoyed reading this, heh. Although, overall, you've left me a bit confused with the whole story thing. I mean, if you think about it – where's the story? How would you summarize this? Because right now it's a well-written description of the narrator's personal beliefs and therefore can't be reviewed as a story.

However. You write well. You don't have problems with grammar or spelling, and your words flow smoothly and are nice to read. That's why I hope to read something of yours in the future as well, and if you need an opinion on something, just PM me.


Demeter
x

Hey

Demeter, you're right about the whole story thing. I wasn't really thinking consciously when I said this was a "story". By that I mean I wasn't really saying to myself, "Oh, this is a story," And you're right, it isn't. It is more just a collection of a person's personal beliefs, and I'm not going to pretend it's anything else.

Thanks for reviewing

~^~Chels~^~