Silence fell over us, mostly because I didn’t know what to say. Finally, Kyran dozed off, and I kept watch on the entrance of the cave. I was beginning to drift off when Kyran started to moan. “Katie.” He mumbled, his voice getting more desperate every time.
When the first yell tore out of him I rushed to his side, carefully shaking him. “Kyran!” I shouted, panicked. It scared me to see someone so strong begging. Another shout ripped through him and my blood ran cold at the sound of fear and pain that rang throughout the cave. “Kyran, wake up!” he jolted into a sitting position before clutching his side and subsiding back against the wall.
“Katie…not Katie.” He panted, wildly scanning the cave. When he saw me, I saw the sanity return to his eyes and his face became a mask. His breathing slowed and color returned to his face, but I wasn’t fooled. He watched me silently as I got to my feet and walked to the entrance and back, trying to collect my thoughts.
Finally I blurted it out. “Who’s Katie?” Kyran’s face lost some of its color again as he flinched back from my words and stared at the rocky floor.
“My sister.” He finally told me. I didn’t say anything, and the silence stretched on as my curiosity ate away at me. Kyran spoke again, voice neutral. “I suppose you want to know what happened.” I snapped my head up to meet his eyes and nodded a tiny bit. Kyran sighed.
“Katie was five years younger than I was. She was always so sunny and happy… everyone she met loved her.” His face twisted in a bitter smile. “Katie… idolized me, god knows why. She had the power not only to love and be loved but to give and inspire. It was like she radiated this glow of happiness and peace that touched everyone, no matter their gender, age or race.”
His words bought the image of another girl to my mind. In my mind, Liz smiled, her breath-taking beauty, grace, intelligence, humor, bravery and wisdom stabbing at me. I missed her so much it was almost a physical pain.
“She had everything in front of her. I was sixteen when the men came into our town. They dragged families into the street and forced to kneel before shooting them in the back of the head. My family was forewarned and we went into hiding. My mom and dad told me to take care of Katie, and we hid together.” Kyran had his eyes closed now and it was as though he was seeing it all again.
“When the men searched our house, they didn’t find us. They were about to leave when Katie’s puppy, Max, ran out and barked.” A sense of horror crept over me as Kyran’s tone became haunted. “The men laughed and one of them drew a gun, aiming it at Max. Katie… she loved that puppy just the way she loved everything else in this world: with all her heart and soul.”
My eyes shut involuntarily as though I were trying to stop the ending I knew was coming. “She tried to save him.” It wasn’t a question but a statement. I knew, because that was exactly the kind of thing Liz would do. Kyran nodded.
“Yes. Before I could stop her, she ran out and yelled for them to stop. They grabbed her and raped her, all of them, no matter how she screamed and fought. Then they killed her. And I sat in the closet, too terrified to move. She screamed for me to help her, but I was frozen. Right before they shot her, she whispered, ‘Kyran, where are you?’. She had always worshipped me, always counted on me to be there. But when she really needed me, I wasn’t there. She never knew how much braver than me she was.”
As though the image was burned onto his eyes, he squeezed them tightly shut. When he opened his eyes I saw fiery hatred and determination. “I ran away that night and joined a group of thieves, though I never stole myself. They taught me to fight and intimidate. When I had learned all that they could teach me, I went my own way and tracked down the men who hurt my sister and killed them all. That’s when I found out who they were.”
His glare seemed to pierce into the past. “JB had a rival crew, and these men were of that crew. JB found me and made me part of his crew, protecting me from the vengeance of the other crew. I sent money home every month until two years ago, when my father fell sick and died. He had never recovered from losing both of his children in one night.”
He fell silent, lost in the past while I sat speechlessly. Finally I found my voice. “Why? Why is it that the best of this world seem to be the first to fall?” Images of Liz and me starting a water fight on the last day of school at Willow Park flashed through my mind. “Sometimes… sometimes if feels like the world I used to know, the one with laughter and dreams never existed, like it was all in my imagination and this is the only world I’ll ever know. And this world is full of tears and heartbreak and injustice that never stops.” I whispered, feeling so much older than eleven.
Kyran didn’t answer, so I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes. Before I knew it I was asleep.
“Ash!” Liz shook me awake. “You were having a nightmare!” she told me, looking radiant as usual. Breathing a sigh of relief, I hugged her.
“Hey.”
“What was your nightmare about?” she asked. I shook my head, impressed with my imagination.
“We had gone on our summer vacation, and we went on a strange yacht despite what your mom told us. It turned out that the yacht belonged to pirates and the captain, JB, trained us to be killers. When we tried to escape, JB threatened to kill you, but I traded myself in. it was so awful…” Liz nodded sympathetically.
“Well, at least it was just a dream. You wanna go play at the park?” She asked eagerly. I nodded, now remembering why she was here this early in the morning. We had a sleepover, and it was Saturday morning now.
Liz went downstairs to make pancakes with mom while I changed, and we laughed and talked over breakfast before heading out to the park. Liz and I were seeing who could swing themselves higher when the men came. They were dragging families out into the street and shooting them.
Liz and I went and hid in the trees next to the play structure and the men had almost passed when a girl our age ran out. Somehow I knew she was named Amy, though I hadn’t met her before. Horrified, Liz ran out to stop the men from hurting Amy, but a man with shoulder length auburn hair shot Amy before turning to Liz. “My name is Jean Baptiste. Why don’t you call me JB, since it’s easier?” He asked her, advancing with his gun.
I tried to move, to go and help, but I was too scared, rooted to the spot with terror. I watched helplessly as Liz screamed and fought, yelling my name and begging me to help her.
“Ash!” Kyran shook me awake. “You were having a nightmare.” He told me, wincing as he got to his feet. I was covered in cold sweat as I fought to steady my terrified breathing.
More to change the subject than anything else, I eyed him critically. “You shouldn’t be standing up.” Kyran only shrugged.
“What happened?” He asked, indicating that he meant the nightmare. I suddenly wondered whether all the people on JB’s boat had a story that gave them nightmares, or if it was just a select few. I rubbed my eyes tiredly, seeing Liz screaming for help again in my minds eye.
“Liz.” I told him about the nightmare, then about Liz, our school, our town, all the pranks we had played and all the crazy things we had done, like collecting spiders and garden snails to put in the bedroom of one of the live in babysitter’s that Liz used to have. Of course, that lady did deserve it, she was always so mean to us.
It was funny, but Kyran no longer seemed anything like the deadly first mate he was. He was acting almost like Dad in a way. We joked and laughed and told stories, and slowly, Kyran started to heal. Both of us knew that we would eventually have to go back to the boat, but we were waiting until Kyran was completely healed. On my part, I didn’t want to leave the cave or the area.
It was so serene here, tranquil and peaceful in a way I hadn’t seen since I first boarded JB’s boat. While Kyran healed physically, I began to heal emotionally. Slowly, I was learning to not think about Liz or Mom or Dad. Granted, they were always present in my thoughts, but now the flash of pain I felt was less. Though I still didn’t accept that I would never see them again, I was learning not to blame myself.
Kyran told me whenever I woke up from either a dream where I was back home or a nightmare where Mom, Dad or Liz were hurt that I hadn’t had a choice, that I had done all that I could, and I knew that he was telling the truth. Still, it hurt a little to think about them. Actually, if I were being truthful with myself, it hurt like hell to think about them.
Liz would be making more friends, possibly falling in love with one of the boys in our grade. God knew that even at our age she had all the boys falling over her, including me, though I hadn’t even realized it then. And though I hated the thought of someone else knowing her every thought and being her confidant when I couldn’t even see her for a moment, I knew it was for the best. She needed to be getting on with her life, and hopefully she was. Though knowing Liz, she was probably blaming herself for my death. I didn’t want that. I just wanted her to be happy, even if that meant she forgot about me.
Mom and Dad… I knew how they would be feeling. I was their only child, and they had never really wanted to have another kid. They would be torn apart by my death. But again, it was for the best that they didn’t know I was still alive. At least this way they had a definite answer and a sense of peace. Yes, I was supposed to be dead, but that surely meant I was at peace, instead of still captive, right? That’s what I wanted them to think; that I was at peace.
Sometimes though, I let my hopes get away from me. I mused aloud what would happen if I escaped, if I went home again and showed up at their door, smiling and saying ‘I’m not really dead!’ Would they hate me, shun me for causing them so much pain? Would they have already gotten over me and be mad that I had come back? Or would they hug me and cry and tell me how much they missed me?
I would never know, nor did I really want to. Kyran was smart enough to knock down my random and crazy plans of escape or faking my death again. “Ash, you made a deal and now you need to stay. JB would find out, and then he would come after you, your family, and Liz. I know it’s hard, and I know it’s awful to ask you to make such a hard choice. But you can’t leave.”
I would nod, knowing it was the truth. “I wonder what Liz would say if she ever found out… she’d probably be angry with me for deceiving her and hurting her so much… and I wouldn’t blame her. I probably don’t have anyone to go back to anyway.” I told him one day, knowing the truth of my words and forcing myself to accept it despite the pain that came with it.
Kyran shook his head. “Ash, you can’t feel guilty about her your whole life. You did what you had to, and you saved her life. I think you know she would tell you not to feel guilty if she knew. From what you’ve told me about her, that seems like what she would say.” I nodded slowly, knowing it was true. Of course, it was easier said than done.
Kyran continued. “When we go to the pirate’s island you’ll meet new girls. We have villages there, families. In fact, I have a family there too. You’ll see. Eventually, you’ll fall in love with someone else.” I didn’t bother to deny it out loud, but I knew that there was no way I would fall in love with someone else.
‘Tell me about your family.” I said, changing the subject and looking curiously at Kyran. He smiled at me, looking out of the cave and down at the sparkling creek.
“My wife’s name is Samantha, and we have three children: Claude, Chloe, and Brandon. Claude is the oldest, and he’s fifteen. I think he wants to be a carpenter when he grows up. Chloe is thirteen, and she looks exactly like Samantha. But she’s wilder than Sami, more eager to try new things.” Kyran smiled wistfully.
“She wants to go to mainland when she grows up and become a doctor. Brandon’s eight years old, but very quiet and serious. He loves to go down and watch training classes, and he’s top of his class in all kinds of fighting and academics. He wants to become a pirate as well, and join JB’s crew.” Kyran frowned.
“And you don’t want him to join the crew.” I said, reading the look on his face. Kyran nodded slowly.
“I don’t want him to have to live like this. I want him to do something better with his life, and not have to live in constant fear and never be able to show what he feels.” I nodded sympathetically, knowing what he meant. I wouldn’t condemn my worst enemy to this fate. Actually, considering my worst enemy was JB, it didn’t count. I would gladly burn JB at the stake, just as he deserved.
“So you live on the island with your wife and children?” I asked curiously. Kyran nodded.
“My mother too. She moved to live with us after my father died. Her name is Mackenzie. She’s quite a character.” He told me, amusement warming his features. “I think she would really like you.”
I rolled my eyes skeptically, making Kyran laugh, and we fell into silence. Later that evening, I was banking a fire on the ledge in the entrance of the cave when I saw them. “Kyran.” I whispered harshly. He was up and by my side in seconds, looking at the men’s shadows as they came toward us. “Who are they?”
Kyran peered into the darkness. “It looks like Danny, Sam and James. Looks like we’re out of here.” I looked worriedly at Kyran as he grabbed a pack and threw the other two at me.
“Are you fit enough?” I frowned. In the month since the attack, he had healed well, but I didn’t want to leave. Properly reading my face, Kyran sighed.
“Our rest is over, Ash. Remember, you’re emotionless.” He commanded me before stepping out onto the ledge and calling out. “Sam! James! Danny! Wait on that side of the stream. Ash and I are coming.” The three forms stopped and Kyran began the descent. I followed after him, careful not to slip and fall in the dark. I couldn’t show that kind of weakness. As Kyran had said, our rest was over. I was back in the real world.
“Kyran! Ash!” James said when we finally reached him. Neither his voice nor his face expressed any relief, but his firm handshake somehow conveyed how worried he had been, as did those of the others. “We’ve had teams searching for weeks. No one ever thought of exploring this side trail.”
Kyran gave a curt nod. “Well, you found us now. There was an accident with a bear, and we were recuperating here. We’re fine now.” He said, voice betraying no emotion. Seeing this expressionless, emotionless side of Kyran again shocked me, but I followed his lead, making my face completely flat as James glanced at me.
“Very well, sir. The captain was waiting till we found you before departing from the island. We’re going back to Island Van de Bloemen as soon as possible.” James strode in front of us, followed by Danny, Kyran, me and then Sam, who was evidently making sure that no one fell behind.
The trek down to the beach was mostly silent, and when we finally stepped onto the smooth white sand, Danny let out a shout. “We found them!” He yelled. There was instant commotion as people rushed over to see the truth to his words. Kyran and I shook hands with many expressionless pirates who managed to convey their relief silently just the way James and the others had.
JB came to stand in front of us, looking us coolly over. “I’m glad you made it back.” He finally said, nodding at both of us. He didn’t offer his hand, for which I was glad. I didn’t want to shake hands with him at all. I would much rather punch him. I snapped off a crisp salute, nodding and staring expressionlessly at him. “All right, we’ve found them! We sleep on the beach again tonight, and tomorrow at first light we head for Island Van de Bloemen!” He shouted, turned to the others.
Quickly, the bedrolls were set out, and I found that mine had been kept by James. I gratefully took it from him, nodding in silent appreciation before carefully laying my weapons on the sand in front of me before lying down myself. I tried not to think of the sticky taste of the s’mores Kyran and I had eaten over the fire just an hour ago, instead telling myself to go to sleep.
The next morning dawned unusually warm and JB’s sharp whistle pierced through my sleepy brain, automatically bringing me to my feet. I snapped all my knives into their sheaths and grabbed my gun before rolling my bedroll. Our camp was alive with activity, even though the red sun only peeked over the glittering horizon.
I joined Danny as we walked onto the yacht, and he grinned at me. “What happened in those hills? We saw the bear’s bones next to shreds of clothes and a couple human bones, but nothing else. It must have been a wild fight.” He told me. If he felt any horror at the sight of human bones, he hid it well.
“It was.” I shrugged, not really wanting to talk. “Those two men had no chance. We heard the noise and they stepped closer just when the bear charged. Kyran shot it, but it was already too late for the men.” I edited so that I had no part in the fight, but Danny grinned.
“According to Kyran, the bear attacked him, but you jumped it and saved his life. You had it all under control when he shot it. Pretty damn impressive, kiddo. But then again, I knew you were a natural after our first training practice.” He walked down an opposite hall to go to his cabin.
I watched him go before turning my own way, down to my cabin. When I got there, I found that a bed and a small desk had been placed in it. I dropped my bedroll onto the bed and opened one of the desk drawers.
When a crew member proves he is worthy, he receives a real room-JB
I crumpled the paper and threw it into my new waste basket, not knowing what to think. Knowing that I wasn’t needed on deck, I put away the bedroll and plopped down on my new coverlet, fingering my old bracelet. Light green, sapphire, and yellow threads braided themselves around my wrist with a brown wood bead covering the knot.
Sighing, I wondered what Liz was doing right now. I didn’t even know what time zone we were on. For all I knew, she could be sound asleep. I wondered if she ever thought of me. One side of me desperately hoped she did, while the other part of me hoped she was moving on.
To get my mind off her, I got out my knives and headed to the training room. It was empty, so I began with the basic moves and worked up until I had done all I could without a partner to fight. It felt good to work on fighting again after a month of just relaxing with Kyran. I had begun to worry that my skills were gong rusty from lack of training, but now I saw that I was fine.
Having put that worry to rest, I went to the deserted kitchen and served myself some porridge, thinking wistfully of fresh fish from the stream, berries and whatever other fruits we could find…. and candy. I was about to turn and go to my cabin to eat when I felt a hand in my sweater pocket.
Turning, I saw Kyran and a big black man behind me. “Hello sir. Hello.” I snapped a salute and repressed a grin. Kyran had managed to slip me a whole bag of some sort of candy. Both of them nodded impassively.
“Ash, the captain asked that you be informed that the only area in which you will be called upon to assist with at the moment is fighting. You are not to help man the yacht.” Kyran’s voice was just as flat as his eyes. I nodded and saluted the men again before striding into my cabin. Setting the porridge on my desk, I pulled a bag of fudge blocks out of my sweater.
Grinning like a loon, I broke a fudge block in half and ate one chunk, putting the rest into one of the desk drawers for later. I slowly chewed, savoring the chocolate and notes of vanilla before swallowing and beginning to eat my porridge.
After I was done I went to sleep in the comfy bed. I wasn’t actually tired, but I wanted to sleep whenever I could, because who knew when my next chance would be. Anyway, I was a growing boy.
I woke up with the rising sun, and I smiled in satisfaction. I had slept through the whole day and the night. But what had woken me? I groped for the light switch and jumped as I saw Kyran leaning against my closed door. “Ash.” He said in greeting. “Another pirate crew is here. Get up.”
I jumped out of bed and stuffed my feet into my combat boots as Kyran left. Hurrying up onto deck, I saw another yacht that was a little smaller than ours flying a red flag with dark waves decorating the bottom half. Their captain had come over to our boat and was conversing quietly with JB while the crew watched expressionlessly. Sam came up behind me.
“Red means the captain has seven years experience. They kill by drowning, according to their flag.” He murmured, lips barely moving. “Notice how the captain comes over to us. It’s an acknowledgement of our higher ranking.” I nodded slightly, scanning their crew. Their first mate was obvious because of his size. He was almost seven feet tall and as wide as an average doorway, all muscle. He wore the same snaking insignia pin as Kyran did, only his was prominently placed where no one could miss it while Kyran, on the other hand, was very discreet about his status.
I took an immediate dislike to the first mate, taking in the arrogance written plainly across his features and stance. Liz would dislike him even more than I did, I was certain. She had always hated people who were too cocky.
Among the crew were about seven women, all looking just as deadly as the men. The other captain and JB shook hands and the captain went back to his yacht, speaking quietly to his men before their boat began to move. JB turned to us. “We travel with them to Island Van de Bloemen.” He told us.
Later, I asked Sam what the island was, and he told me that this was the pirate’s island of which Kyran had spoken. “It means Island of the Flowers, I think. You’ll see why when we get there.” He told me as we grabbed breakfast porridge. I nodded and scarfed down the food before heading to the training room.
Stretching a little, I lost myself in drills. After a while my mind began to wander, and I thought again about Liz. According to the calendar in the kitchen, it was March 28th, Liz’s birthday. Silently I wished her happy birthday, smiling slightly. Hopefully she was happy now, the day she turned eleven.
Thinking back on the years, I realized this was her first birthday I hadn’t been there. Our parents had pictures of each of our birthday’s from year one, and in every one of her birthday photo’s I was there, be it sitting in a high chair next to her or in the middle of some game. She had been to every one of my parties too.
Closing my eyes, I shook the sadness creeping over me off, deciding to blame this on JB. If he hadn’t existed, I would be at her eleventh birthday. So it was his fault. With that thought, I threw myself back into drills with renewed energy, pretending that JB was my punching bag.
We used our sails most of the time instead of the engine, so it took us two weeks to get to Island Van de Bloemen. It was on the equator, and when it came into view, I realized why it was named ‘Island of the Flowers’. Even from the water I could see the lush vegetation on the rising hills, and blue, white, yellow and red bunches dotted the landscape where fields of flowers grew.
We landed in the middle of the morning, around ten. Many of the men were jittery, wanting to leave and go see there families, but JB asked the crew to stay and help unload all the goods. We complied, bringing stolen jewelry and money bags and boxes into a huge storage room.
As soon as we were done, the whole crew moved as one down a dusty road. Danny explained to me that each crew had their own village, or cluster of homes for themselves and their families. We walked along the dusty road together, and the men sang homecoming songs, much to my surprise. This was the first time I had seen them all acting like humans in front of JB.
The whole crew was greeted on the outskirts of town by wives and children and parents who waved and yelled and cried. I watched silently as the men ran to their children and picked them up, swinging them before setting them down and kissing their wives. Kyran was surrounded by three teenage children, a silver haired, regal looking woman, and a sweet faced woman who I assumed was his wife.
When I looked around I saw a family standing in a corner. There was a girl about my age and her silver haired grandmother, crying and holding on to a blond haired woman. All of them were crying into each other, and I realized that their family member hadn’t come home. When the daughter lifted her face, my gut twisted. If I hadn’t been looking for it I wouldn’t have seen it, but she had Gage’s face shape.
Slowly I made my way over to them, bowing my head in greeting. “Who are you?” The mother asked, wiping her tears away. I gave her a sad smile.
“I was… acquired this year. I’ve come to give you my condolences. Gage was my protector for a while…” I trailed off, not knowing what to say. All three of them began to cry harder, and I stood silently for a moment, at a loss. “I’m sorry.” I finally whispered before turning and heading back to the crowd. There was nothing more I could say.
Oh well, better late than never.
