And I Sleep Easier

5 posts
Random avatar
Gender None specified
Points 300
Reviews 0
Knowing,
That the heart
Beating in your chest,
The deep,
Resonating beat,
Beats for me.

Knowing,
That your finger tips,
Etched deeply
With lines
That set you apart
From any other man,
Crave the touch
Of my skin.

Knowing,
That when you lie
In my bed,
With the shadows of night
Cast over your face,
Your mind retraces steps
Of memories we shared.

Knowing,
Just knowing
That you are mine.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 447
Reviews 52
wow...that was a beautiful poem! :)
O thin men of Haddam,/Why do you imagine golden birds?/Do you not see how the blackbird/Walks around the feet/Of the women about you?
-Wallace Stevens




Random avatar
Gender None specified
Points 300
Reviews 0




User avatar
Gender None specified
Points 83309
Reviews 436
Ooh, I really like this. For some reason it reminds me of lyrics, but I guess it can be quite a popular subject so I'm not surprised!

I don't think that you actually need to capitalize the first word of every line; poetry is like prose with the capitalization rules so you actually don't need to capitalize too much here, I think! For me, it's actually quite distracting when the words that don't need to be capitalized are, but I'm kind of used to them the other way now!

There was a lot of "beating" in the first stanza. If I were you I'd change the middle one, "resonating beat" to something else, just breaks up the slight monotony a little!

But great poem, well done!

~Amy
"It is curious how often you humans manage to obtain that which you do not want."

-Spock.


Click if you love cookies




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 20503
Reviews 370
This was a beautiful poem.. fantastic job. One question: why isn't is called Knowing? That seems to be the subject matter here. Oh, and I agree with everyone above. Too many beating's in the first stanza; kind of takes away from the rest of the poem.
Other than that, great job. A star for you!
keep writing poetry, Kay.
empress
Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart.
*Le Bible
Royal Reviews Here!



someone hide fried pickles in my tree
— Iggy