Fading Into Reality

First i must welcome you to YWS and taking the courage to write a post, you did well.
But i must confess your poem needs a lot of puntuation, and your whole first stanza was a confusion.
Also the last line of all the stanza seems different from the stanza. If i were you i will retrive this post re-arrange it and post it again.
Sorry if i was too harsh but its need.
Keep up the good work

Hey there! Welcome to YWS, I hope that you're enjoying it so far! Please note that there is a 3:1 review ratio here; that's three reviews for every piece of work that you post! If you have any questions about the site, feel free to PM me!

Now, on with the review!

Firstly, I don't really think that the coloured font is needed here. Sure, it's pretty, but we want to focus on the words!

A hope. A wish,
Mind taking flight.
Horror. Love,
dreams show you delight

There seems to be a distinct lack of punctuation here. I've inserted punctuation above in bold, but feel free to change it.
In addition, remember that you don't need to capitalize every line of poetry if it isn't the start of a new sentence.
Also, the idea of horror doesn't seem to fit in with this stanza. The rest of it seems to be about hopes and dreams, but I doubt that anyone wishes for horror, as such! And it definitely doesn't bring them delight.

Yet with a flick of the eyes,
it all dissapears Disappears.
As the reality sinks in,
you burst into tears.

Again, no punctuation and you don't need to capitalize each line. I do like the idea of this stanza, especially the "flick of the eyes" but your grammar and spelling needs some work. (Highlighted above)
Also, your rhyme scheme seems a little conventional for this poem. The words you've used are very obviously rhymes, which make the poem a little boring for the reader. I'd try to jazz things up a little vis-à-vis your rhymes.

It all felt so real,
though it faded away;
you want to go back,
let reality delay.

Again, punctuation in bold. My main quibble with this is, again, your rhymes. They're just too obvious, and this is making your poem sound too awkward for my liking. Maybe, for the time being, you should switch to free poetry, without any sort of rhyme scheme, and see where that gets you. Rhyming really only works when it's completely unforced, so it might be a good idea to try different options.

But you can't make it so,
not by a genie or star.
Acting on your own accord,
that'll make you go far.

The third line feels a smidgen too long. Perhaps you could change "acting" to "act"?

A dream is just that,
unless you make it out to be
true. Real,
in your own reality.

I like this stanza! However, I'm not too fond of your little "True. Real" parts. They just break up what would otherwise be quite a nice stanza and make the whole thing kind of messy. Same thing for the ones that you have on the first stanza, by the way. Maybe if you made it a running theme throughout the poem it would work, but your lines are so short that the even shorter sentences make it kind of annoying.

Overall
Well, of course this idea is a little cliché, but that doesn't make it a bad poem! What you need to work on is building this up: adding proper grammar and ironing out the mistakes, to then thinking about your rhyme scheme and whether it really works. I, personally, love rhymes, but only when they're done well. It's your choice whether you either make them more sophisticated, keep them, or discard it altogether, but it is something that I would definitely consider!

Hope I helped! And again, welcome to YWS!

~Amy

I LUV THIS POEM KATZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GREAT JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DONT LISTEN TO THOSE PEOPLE THIS IS UR TYPE OF POETRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YAAA!!! I love your dark poems, kk!!! So good!! So dark, and ppwerful!

I must say, you have a great rhyming scheme here.

XxxcagedheartxxX wrote:A dream is just that
Unless you make it out to be
True. Real
In your own reality

O.o That was just fantabulous. I absolutely adore it.
I agree with AquaMarine about most everything; nix the purple font. It's a little distracting and hard on wearied old eyes like mine.
No punctuation is fine, if you stick with it. But you can't go half and half, so you can take A's advice or go without punctuation, though it's a really helpful tool for emphasis in poetry.
And that's all I have to say. Great job. *stars piece*
xxooxx
The Universe