Quote by Mwa!

I asked how much he loved me,
He said enough to stay.
I asked how long he would stay,
And he said until he walked away.

P.S. I got a little help on the ending of this by a good friend of mine so I can't take all the credit. But I will take half. Let me know what you think of it. Thanks!

Hi Jayden, and welcome to Young Writers Society! =)

I really like this poem, but the last two lines don't seem to match completely when it comes to syllables.

I asked how long he would stay,

That line has seven syllables...

And he said until he walked away.

...but this one has eight syllables.

Otherwise, I do really like it and I don't see anything else to critique.

I can't wait to see more of your work and I wish you good luck! =)

~Eris

Hey there,

It's cliche -- I feel like I've heard it before, but cliche's not always bad, depending on what you're using it for. I think for it to really be touching, it needs to be stronger and mean more (because if someone said the last line to me, it might imply that they're willing to walk away soon... or something. )

June

Mwa = Moi. ^_^

If you meants "Quotes by me", that is.

Yeah. That is all. June took all the things I was going to tell you in this review. D:
But! good luck and happy editing,

~~~Antigone Cadmus (just try to remember... mwa is how it is pronounced... moi is how it is spelled -- silly french!)

I'm not totally sure, but I'm thinking it might be better as

jayden wrote:"How much do you love me?"
"Enough," he said. "to stay."
"How long will you stay?"
He stayed until he walked away.

Meh, I don't like that very much
But I feel like the rhythm is a little whack.
It's a cute little limerick-type thing. I don't think it's meant to be immensely deep or thoughtful, and it pretty much serves its purpose.