From Chapter Five:
When did life ever become so complicated? What happened to playing on a swing set and pretending to fly? I knew what happened: a reckless little boy disobeyed an adult’s orders and convinced his best friend to swim around the reef to the big yacht that glimmered in the water. Right now, I hated that boy more than anything else in the whole world.
Chapter Six:
Suddenly I had an urge to just curl up and cry, but I forced that feeling back. I had no time. I knew Kyran was right, even if it was cold-blooded. I shouldn’t get attached to the family. Straightening and setting my mind only on getting food for them, I strode into the kitchen, where the two ladies who served the food grinned at me. “You come a lot.” One of them told me in broken English.
I shrugged. “The prisoners need food.” I made sure not to speak of them as though I thought of them as a desperate family. They were only prisoners. Right. The first lady translated into some other language for the second one, who nodded sagely and gave me bowls full of porridge.
I took a deep breath before opening the door. There would be no slips this time. Avoiding eye contact, I gave them their food before Thanking them, I walked back to the training room and steadied myself before opening standing stiffly by the doorway. “I suggest that after you eat you get some rest. This yacht is very volatile in its schedules, and you may not get the chance for a while afterwards.”
My voice was calm and detached, discouraging any conversation. Emma, who had been crying, judging by the red rims around her eyes, looked up and spat, “I’m sure the pirates on this yacht are very concerned with the amount of sleep we get. After all, they wouldn’t want to kill us when we were half asleep.” I flinched away from her accusing gaze.
“I have no hand in the decisions made by the pirates, nor do I know their plans. I only wish for you to be comfortable.” My formal, stilted words seemed to shame the woman, who glanced guiltily at Amy before looking at me
“I’m sorry. I know… it’s just so…” She trailed off, searching for the proper word. I nodded, knowing what she meant. The injustice and pain and sadness caused by people who considered prisons as furniture could not be put into words.
“I know.” I told her. The man, who had spoken maybe a sentence to me, looked up and scowled at me.
“Look boy, we don’t need your sympathies. You’re just some kid who’s gotten above himself. I can get us out of this mess. Take our bowls away and leave us alone.” The harshness in his tone didn’t bother me, because I knew how he felt. His wife and child turned to him, trying to hush him, but I only nodded, grabbed their empty bowls, and left. I was almost out when the man told me, “And my family doesn’t eat this tripe. Get us some real food.”
I didn’t bother answering him. It wasn’t my problem if he didn’t want to eat the porridge, that was all we had on board. It was a daily hodgepodge of food that was about to go bad and food that could be kept for a long time. We didn’t have anything else, and he would just have to deal with it. I now understood what Kyran meant about his pride killing him. If he had treated JB like that, it was a wonder he was still breathing. I was putting their bowls into a big sink when I heard Amy scream.
Turning, I sprinted back to the training room to find the door ajar. Inside, a burly man I hadn’t seen before was approaching the family with a knife. “Stop! Under who’s orders are you here?” My voice was loud and authoritative, thank goodness. It didn’t show any of my fear.
The man turned. “They are only prisoners! I can have fun if I want. Are you going to challenge me, boy?” He turned towards me, menacingly passing his knife from one hand to the other. Gulping, I stood my ground.
“The captain ordered me to take care of them. They are not to be harmed.” The man’s face twisted into a sneer.
“Listen, kid, if you know what’s good for you you’ll leave.” His voice was slurred slightly, and I realized he was drunk. This man was an idiot. Behind me, I heard Kyran stop.
“Ash, JB has been meaning to kill this man anyway. He’s a horrible weak link, a drunkard. No one will be upset if you kill him.” His voice was a mere whisper, heard only by me. I gulped. Kill him?
The drunken man hadn’t seen Kyran, and he sneered, turned back towards the family. “Coward. You won’t protect them. Leave.” He advanced towards Amy, his knife glinting. As she screamed, I jumped at him.
He turned at the last second, clumsily slashing at me with his knife. Grabbing his wrist, I twisted so he dropped his knife, falling to his knees and crying out. Jumping back, I picked up the knife, and the man quickly got back to his feet, staggering a little before roaring and coming at me with a punch. I ducked under his punch, and he drew another knife, charging me.
This time I didn’t move, but waited for the poor drunk sod to get near me. Just as he was about to drive the knife into my chest, I ducked and stabbed upwards into his chest as hard as I could with the knife. The man stiffened, and then he became a dead weight on me, dragging me to the ground.
I flipped him off me and stood, staring down at his glazed eyes and the blood seeping from the knife wound. Horror made me light headed, and I turned to the side, falling to my knees and throwing up everything in my stomach. When I couldn’t throw up anymore, I stayed on my hands and knees, hanging my head and drawing deep breaths. There was no way I had just killed someone.
I felt a hand around my arm, and I was pulled upright by Kyran. “I took him away. Clean up that mess.” He ordered me before turning and walking out. I could have sworn I saw a tiny bit of sympathy in his eyes.
Still feeling sick, I moved numbly out of the room and got a mop and bucket of water before returning to the training room. Amy and her mother were crying in each others arms while Andreas stared white faced into the distance. Not looking at any of them, I cleaned up the mess and then put everything away.
My mouth had a sour after taste, so I washed it out with some water, avoiding the looks of the other pirates. Most of them were sympathetic, some curious. The blond man, who I now knew was named James, put his hand on my shoulder. “Don’t worry kid. The first kill is always hard.” I watched him in shock as he went on his way. How many men had these people killed?
I shook myself out of my reverie and headed back to the training room. I sighed when I saw the family edge back at the sight of me, and I tiredly spread my hands in front of me. “Listen, I’m not going to hurt you, okay?” I didn’t have time for this. They all stared at me fearfully, and I gave up with being patient. “I had to kill him. Those were my orders, and he was going to kill you otherwise. I’m sorry if you had to see that. But you’re all going to have to toughen up.” I grimaced.
“Whatever. You won’t be disturbed anymore. I’m going to get some sleep. If you’re smart, so will you.” Emma stopped me.
“Wait… thank you.” She whispered, staring at the ground. Suddenly, I realized how hard it was for her or Andreas to thank me or anyone else. They were obviously rich and influential, and not used to being taken care of. It had cost her a lot of pride to thank me, a ten year old kid.
Smiling at her, I nodded. “No problem. Sleep well.” I turned and went into my cabin, shutting the door and letting darkness take over the small room before burying myself in my bedroll. I was out like a light as soon as my head hit my pillow.
Sun was filtering through the small porthole above my head, and I groaned, rolling over and trying to go back to sleep. Yawning, I stretched quietly, trying not to wake Liz, who was probably still asleep. I flipped over onto my stomach and gazed at where Liz was supposed to be sleeping.
I jerked upright as memories came back. Liz wasn’t here anymore. I was a pirate now. Emma, Andreas and Amy were prisoners whom I was charged with taking care of... and yesterday I had made my first kill. Sighing, I looked wistfully at the crumpled pillow I had been sleeping on. Sadly, I needed to check on the prisoners, so going back into dreamland wasn’t an option.
Before going to see them, I did my stretches and a few drills just to get myself awake, and I stifled a yawn as I stepped into the hall. I barely noticed when I adjusted my walking pattern to the rocking boat, but when I opened the training room door Andreas, Emma and Amy were looking decidedly green.
“Wow.” I thoughtlessly murmured, watching their faces turn slightly greener. “Um… I suggest holding your breath for a little. Or you could put your head between your knees and just rest for a little like that. It helps a little with the sea sickness.” None of them spoke, they just all put their head between their knees, and I had to work to stifle my laugh. Liz would be rolling on the floor with laughter.
I winced away from that thought, knowing that Liz would be hurting right now. I didn’t want to imagine the state she was in over my ‘death’. Shaking my head as though to clear it of my thoughts, I looked away from my feet and to the others. “Do you want me to get you something to eat?”
Amy moaned and I bit my lip to stop a laugh. “Okay, well, I’m going to get you the food, and you can eat it when you’re feeling better, which should be soon. I’ll be right back.” Before they could protest, I strode out the door and into the halls. James walked by me, giving me a curious look.
“What’s so funny?” He asked, looking truthfully puzzled. “I haven’t seen you ever smile. I mean, when you were in your cabin with Liz, we heard both of you laughing and talking all the time, but I’ve never actually see you show emotion.” He said.
I shrugged. “The prisoners are sea sick, and I thought they looked a little comical with their heads between their knees.” I told him. James chuckled and nodded before moving on to do whatever he had been assigned. I made my way to the kitchen and got four bowls, placing them on a tray and going over to the huge pot.
Today there appeared to be meat in the rice, as well as some fresh vegetable, which was nice. I even identified some egg drops, making me grin. The last time we had fresh vegetable, meat and egg had been at least a month ago, because we couldn’t keep things that rotted. That thought made me frown, and I realized what fresh food meant: someone had gone ashore last night and pillaged some food.
I looked out the porthole, searching for land, but we were surrounded by water. One of the ladies manning the pot of food grinned at me. “They took a separate boat to mainland and came back with food.” She told me, filling the bowls. Frowning, I nodded but didn’t comment, and the other lady chattered in some foreign language.
Nodding my thanks to both of them, I left them. Amy and her parents were looking better now, and I handed them their bowls, spooning up some meat and savoring the taste even though I knew it was stolen. Emma smiled at the sight of the food.
“There’s vegetable and meat in this!” She exclaimed delightedly. I nodded and slurped up some more.
Andreas smirked. “I’m glad you listened to my order and told them to get us some good grub, boy.” His self assurance made me narrow my eyes, but I didn’t say anything. He continued. “Watch me buy this whole crew, we’ll go free. They can’t hold us here! Do you know who I am, boy?”
Finally, I couldn’t take him anymore. Snapping my head up, I stared him dead in the eye. “No, I don’t know who you are. I don’t care who you are either, and neither do any of the pirates. I didn’t tell them what you told me about the food because I knew there was no point. Everyone gets the same food, even the captain. What we have on board needs to last. The good things only come right after the pirates steal the food. This food doesn’t have something special in it just because you said so.”
Andreas glared at me, obviously stunned by my insolence. He dropped his glare and edged away as I continued to stare him straight in the eye. I was glad I unnerved him. “You are a prideful, arrogant old man who still hasn’t seen the folly of his actions. You think you have so much money, huh? You don’t have any. They already stole all of it.” The anger on his face turned quickly to shock as I continued.
“You can’t buy this crew. If you had been intelligent, you would have just paid the fee for protection. But no, instead you had to not only ignore the pirates, but anger them by throwing insults and threats. Look at where your pride has landed you.” I gestured around the training room. “But that’s not enough, is it? You continued to insult them, and now your family is here too, and you’re all scheduled to die. Why? Because you decided that you couldn’t let go of your pride.”
I felt my face twist into an expression of disgust as I glared at Andreas. “Did you know that I always wanted to be important? At the airport this summer there was a man talking loudly into his phone, and I remember thinking that I wanted to be important and big and strong and rich. Now I realize what it does to people. Just look at you.” I gestured at him as I got to my feet.
“Now, if you were intelligent you would swallow your pride and go begging to JB. Who knows, he might spare your lives. It’s at least worth a try.” I didn’t bother to hide my disdain for him, and he bristled.
“Young man, don’t you dare—” I walked out on him, shaking my head to myself as I placed my bowl in the sink. He was just too thick to understand that I wasn’t trying to ridicule him. I was trying to help him, even though I wasn’t exactly subtle. I shook my head. It wasn’t my problem, and I shouldn’t meddle. That was that.
And in the next five weeks, I learned my second big lesson: not to feel compassion. I knew what was going to happen to them, and I couldn’t do anything. They wouldn’t do anything, and I couldn’t change that either. So I trained myself to block them out. I focused on not thinking of them as people. Those flashes of coldness came more frequently and lasted longer: without Liz here to snap me out of those states where I hardened myself and protected myself from the emotions of others and of myself, they could last all day.
In the morning I would wake up, and I’d go and bring food to Amy, Emma and Andreas. I’d look at them and think firmly to myself, they’re as good as dead, you can’t help them. Pretend they have no feelings, no emotions, nothing that can be hurt. They are just empty bags of garbage, already set to be thrown out. And for a short while, I could make myself believe it.
And then things would happen to snap me out of it, and I would feel unbearably lost and defenseless. I’d be up late and walk past the training room to hear Amy crying with her mom because they knew they were going to die, and I’d feel as though the world were falling open at my feet and there was absolutely nothing I could do. That was the worst feeling I could think off.
But over time, I started to get better at making myself think of the three very human people in the training room as already dead, as things that were going to be disposed of anyway. And then I’d go to sleep, and I’d have dreams. I’d dream about Liz, and then I would wake up feeling so emotionally raw and so… so human it left me breathless.
And then I’d lay awake with my hands behind my head and wonder what Liz was doing right now, what Mom and Dad were doing right now. I hoped that however much them thinking I was dead might hurt, that they were doing better now, that they were moving on. And at the same time, I hoped they wouldn’t move on, that I would always be a part of their lives.
It was after one of those nights, where I barely slept but got up feeling much more rested than normal, that disaster struck. I’d had a good dream last night, and thinking of my family had made me more emotional, less cut off than I normally made myself. So when I entered the training room with food and saw that JB had an arm around Amy’s neck and a gun to her head, I couldn’t help my sharp intake of breath. The tray of food I was holding clattered to the floor and spilled over my feet, but I didn’t pay attention.
JB turned to me. “Ash. You’re just in time.” His words seemed to shake the room from it’s paralysis, and Emma turned desperately to JB.
“Please, Captain, that’s my daughter! I have no other children; please don’t hurt her, please! Andreas, please!” She now turned to her husband, who watched stone faced. “Take back your threats!” She begged him. I sent him a hard glance, hoping that he would swallow his pride.
Amy’s small voice broke the tense silence. “Dad… please.” I looked at her and saw the same terror and pain I had seen in Liz’s eyes in those first days aboard this ship, and it took all my self control not to fight JB. I couldn’t interfere. I couldn’t change anything. At least, that’s what I told myself.
“Amy, don’t worry. This parasitic little worm wouldn’t dare hurt the daughter of someone as powerful as I am.” Andreas conviction was unshakable, and he stared at JB coolly. I wanted nothing more than to kill him myself. How could he not see what he was doing? He was acting like a horse heading to the meat shop and proudly tossing his head, telling everyone that he wouldn’t die because he was better than death.
JB grinned at Andreas. “Wanna bet, old man?” He murmured softly. The blast of the gun made my ear drums pop, and I watched in silent horror as Amy fell to the floor, dead before she hit the ground. Emma’s inhuman shriek of agony seemed to tear through my heart, and she fell to her knees in front of Amy, screaming in a wordless wail that held so much pain I felt short of breath.
Andreas shouted angrily. Not sadly, or as though he was in pain. He was angry, as though someone had cheated him of a couple dollars. I had to keep my fists tightly clenched by my sides to prevent them from flying into his face. “How dare you! I’ll make you pay through the nose! Just watch what I’ll do to you! You won’t be captain when I’m through with you! No one gets away with ignoring my orders.”
I was shaking now from the force of controlling my anger. His daughter had just been shot before his eyes, and yet all he thought of was money. “You bastard.” I whispered, unable to keep the words to myself. Both men turned to me in surprise, but Emma just kept wailing in pain. In a corner of my mind, I wondered if my parents had acted the same way over the news of my death. I hoped they hadn’t been hurting to the same extent.
“What did you just call me, boy?” Andreas crossed over to me in two strides, getting in my face. I felt my arm twitch, but I controlled myself. I couldn’t hit him, as much as I wanted too. JB interceded, much to my surprise.
“You will not talk to my crew in that manner.” His voice was cold and sharp enough to cut through diamonds. Andreas flinched before staring JB dead in the eye.
“I do what I want, whenever I want. Understood?” He spat at JB, who only smiled slightly.
“Old man, you have no idea. Your pride and stupidity exceeds any bounds of logical comprehension.” Raising the gun again, JB pointed at Emma who was still wailing. “Look at your daughter. She is dead, and no amount of gems can bring her back. How about your wife? Shall I put her out of her misery?” I almost raised my hand in a pleading gesture, but controlled myself.
Andreas glanced at me, and I saw fear in his eyes there, real fear for almost the first time. He finally understood, and I felt a flash of hope. “Please, don’t take her too.” That was as close as Andreas could come to begging, and it was too much for him. He had to add a threat. “If you do, I’ll have you killed.” He stepped closer to JB, glowering darkly.
I saw JB’s decision in his expressionless face and flat eyes before I heard it. I turned away as another shot rang out and the shrieks of pain were suddenly cut off. I also saw Andreas drop to his knees. “Emma!” His shouted. This time, I heard and saw the pain in his eyes, and for the first time I felt sympathy for this man instead of the anger I had felt towards him these last weeks.
“Emma!” Andreas crawled on his hands and knees over to Emma and Amy, flipping their bodies and shaking them. I pushed down the nauseated feeling that came over me as their heads rolled limply and turned to JB, who was carefully watching my reaction. When I saluted him, he smiled grimly.
“One of the men will take the bodies away. Clean up the broken crockery and porridge.” He ordered me before striding out of the room. Feeling sick, I remembered that I had dropped the tray when I had first come in.
Andreas was beginning to sob now, and when he grabbed my pant leg, I saw in his eyes that he was broken. The death of his wife had broken him. He wasn’t the arrogant man who believed despite everything that he could buy himself out of the situation. He knew.
I silently shook him off and began to clean up the crockery, picking it out of the splattered porridge. When I came back from the kitchen after dropping off the broken shards, Amy and Emma were gone. In the distance, I could hear the solid splashes of heavy objects into the water. Not wanting to think of what they were, I clenched my fists and mopped up the porridge.
I was numbly placing the mop back in its little cupboard when I heard Andreas scream. “Please! Please, I never knew where the stupid tombs were! I have no knowledge of the Minoan tombs! Please believe me! I’m sorry for everything. You’ve already killed Emma… and Amy! My only relations… please.” He started with a yell and ended softly, almost whispering as I ran up onto the deck.
Kyran stood over the cowering man, and it took everything I had not to run to Andreas’ defense. Remember the deal. I thought to myself as I watched, shivering in the cold sea air that whipped around us. Don’t do anything to anger the captain. I forced myself to watch as Kyran drew a gun from his belt.
“You have watched your child and wife die. Yet you still refuse to tell us where it is.” His voice was quiet and final, that of a judge that has made his decision. I knew as well as everyone on board that the poor man had no idea where the thing was. JB had only wanted to increase his suffering by demanding something the man didn’t have.
“Please! I don’t know where it is! I don’t know!” His voice was hoarse from screaming so much, and he brought his trembling hands to stroke his short salt and pepper beard. He knew he was going to die. “Please! Let me go, and I’ll search for it! I’ll give it to you. I have money, connections!” My fists clenched as I fought the urge to free Andreas. Kyran only sneered.
“You don’t know where it is? What a… pity.” Now the old man turned to me desperately as I stood behind Kyran, watching. My face was like a stone, with no expression or sign of life. But for a moment, when he looked at me, I felt my face soften into a pitying, desperate look. I snapped my mask back into place, but it was too late.
“Please, boy! Try to convince them. I see that you believe me. Please! My daughter…” He broke off for a second before recollecting himself. “Amy was about your age. How could you have watched her murder and stood by silently? Please, help me. Do you not have a father somewhere, who could be experiencing the same thing?”
I managed to keep my expression blank as I stared at the man, but inside my mind was whirling in pain. Mom. Dad. Where were they now? Had they forgotten about me, or were they still desperately hoping that maybe one day their son would come home?
I forced myself to focus on the scene at hand, just in time to see Kyran bring up his gun. “Your time is over, old man.” He said flatly. The shot rang through the air, and the old man collapsed at my feet, dead. And I had let it happen.
This story is beyond words. It's amazing. The plot. The characters. The description. Everything is just so real.