Writing is All I Know

6 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1355
Reviews 28
Rhyming, timing,
Dreaming, scheming,
The words they seem to flow

Pencil, paper,
Idea shaper,
Writing is all I know

Novels, stories,
Tales of glory,
Worlds at my command

Write it, type it,
Nothing like it,
Writing is all I know
Last edited by EmiSukotto16 on Tue Dec 08, 2009 2:20 am, edited 1 time in total.
Llama 1:"Shh! Do you hear that? That's the sound of forgiveness."
Llama 2:"That's the sound of people drowning, Carl!"
Llama 1:"That is what forgiveness sounds like; screaming and then silence."




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1030
Reviews 1260
Hello there. This was quite a well written poem, and I could find nothing wrong with it except for grammar.
Each stanza which you've written consists of four words and then a short phrase.
To punctuate them, you do this:

Rhyming, timing,
Dreaming, scheming,
The words they seem to flow


Where it should be:
'
Rhyming, timing,
Dreaming, scheming;
The words they seem to flow.


Semi-colon: These usually happen when you want to merge two complete thoughts into one sentence, which is exactly what your doing.

Period: It outs a final stop and gives a sense of closure to each stanza, or sentence. Even poems must follow the basic rules of grammar.

Other then that, I loved it. It was provocative and very well written. Other then what I mentioned in the review, I wouldn't change a thing.

PM me if you have questions.

All our dreams can come true — if we have the courage to pursue them.

-- Walt Disney




User avatar
Gender None specified
Points 30338
Reviews 560
I love it! The rhythm in this is beautifully light.

Apart from what has already been said, 'noting,' in the last verse should be 'nothing.'

I would say you could encorperate a rhyming scheme with the last line of each stanza, but I quite like the whole thing the way it is.

Well done :)
We were born to be amazing.




User avatar
Gender None specified
Points 1623
Reviews 27
this was written really well! :D
I rather enjoyed reading it, it had a nice pattern and flow to it. The short two first lines, followed by the last a bit longer, i liked it.
It was really good. Can't find nothing wrong with it. :D
The road is full of many bumps and mounds; it's up to the strength of our heart and soul to be able to overcome them.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 4200
Reviews 34
The rhyming in this is very bouncy and flowing. All I can say is awesome job, this is a cute little poem ;)
Vouslez vous de beurre? =}D




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 20503
Reviews 370
*nods vigorously at the comments above*
I feel like this is kind of...brief. Usually I'm a big fan of short, but concise but in this case it felt like you were just getting your thoughts rolling and then you stopped.
Besides that, it was a great poem with energy and rhythm. Good job.
keep thyming,
Empress
Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart.
*Le Bible
Royal Reviews Here!



And you have to flaunt the weird, my friends.
— Alex Fierro