Delilah, As Told in Lavender ((VERY rough draft))

I met Marie Edwards on a bright Tuesday when I was eight years old.August twelfth, if you really want to know. She had moved into the neighborhood about a month beforehand, but I never really bothered to introduce myself. To be honest, I thought she was just a little on the wacky side... Not like I should be talking about anyone being strange, but when Mare rode down the street on that old, rusty bike, her curly red hair and freckled pink face, topped off with dazzling green eyes hidden behind thick, plastic, tortoise-shell glasses, I made sure to stay out of her way. There was so much about that girl, the house she lived in, how she dressed, that just made her... weird. It's amazing how a month of keeping from her all went to dust because I was too anxious to send off a balloon to my mom.
It was a sunny day, about 84 degrees outside, and I was running out the door and around the corner with my jet black hair in a messy ponytail, little pale fingers clutching the string of a big, lavender balloon. I was paying so much attention to making sure that I had a tight knot around the small rectangle of paper at the end of the string, that I didn't even notice anyone around me. I certainly did not notice anyone behind me.
"Why purple?" a voice squeaked from behind me, scaring me so much I almost let go of everything in my hands. I had even almost finished off by taping a small white daisy (picked myself) to the paper.
"E...e..excuse me?" I stammered, turning slightly to face the source of the squeak. Wide eyes just stared back at me, over-magnified by the inch-thick spectacle perched upon her nose.
"I saaaaid," she (((INSERT PROPER WORD HERE???))), "Why purple? You come out here practically every Tuesday with a purple balloonn, and just set it free. It's kindof weird, and waste of balloons, if you want my opinion."
I almost straight-out told her that no, I most certainly did not want her opinion. But that, my friends, would have been rude. So, instead, I simply blinked. She began to open her mouth again, so I unclenched my fists...and ran.
To this day I'm not sure why exactly I ran. Maybe...

(((That's where I lost train of thought, now I'm not sure what to do. I know where I'm going with the plot. But I don't know what to put next.)))

Hiya there.

Ah, writer's block. Don't ya hate it?

This is an interesting start to an interesting story, if you don't mind me being frank. The first paragraph, however, seems quite mumbled together. If this story is being told from the view point of a little girl, you may want to use more simpler but adult words to show her age and thoughts.

Not like I should be talking about anyone being strange, but when Mare rode down the street on that old, rusty bike, her curly red hair and freckled pink face, topped off with dazzling green eyes hidden behind thick, plastic, tortoise-shell glasses, I made sure to stay out of her way.

This seems long and kinda boring. I would defiantly take most of the description out to save for a later time to show what Marie rides and what she looks like. That would cut it down a bit.

Also, I do not understand what the MC means when she calls Marie weird. I don't know what is so odd about a girl who rides a bycicle and has red hair with glasses. Mayhap you should elaborate more on the MC's thoughts and feelings towards the other child to ease the confusion on your reader's behalf.

about 84 degrees outside

I don't honestly know what the temperature has to do with anything unless it plays a big part in the story. If it doesn't, I would nix it.

with my jet black hair in a messy ponytail, little pale fingers

The MC wouldn't be caring too much about her messy hair or the shade of her skin when she was running down the street with a balloon. Wouldn't her thoughts be elsewhere?

I had even almost finished off by taping a small white daisy (picked myself) to the paper.

The brackets here seem slightly nonprofessional and so I would try and corporate it into the story somehow. That is if it's important to know that the MC picked the flower herself.

"E...e..excuse me?" I stammered, turning slightly to face the source of the squeak.

When the MC is interrupted and she spins around to stammer an answer, what thoughts race through her mind? Does she feel her cheeks burning to know that she had been caught or surprised?

"I saaaaid," she (((INSERT PROPER WORD HERE???))),

Now, to that word that seems to elude you. Try "pressed" or "stressed the word" Or even don't put in a dialogue tag. Put an action there instead and say that the red haired girl shifted her weight, pushed her glasses back up her nose, etc. Add some more action to it.

"My friends" doesn't seem to fit what an eight year old would say so maybe nix it. Did the MC release the balloon as she ran or what?

Also, somewhere in there you said the MC was sending the balloon off to her mother. Where is her mother? Why does she send the balloons off? Elaborate more maybe.

This is, like I said above, quite interesting. I don't exactly know what the story is about or anything like that, but I hope you get over your writer's block to explain it further. Also, try writing it in Third Person to get the creative juices flowing. Who knows, maybe the story is destined to be written in Third instead of First and may prove easier to write that way. Unless of course, First is easier for you to write.

I hope I helped and you can figure out my mumbled thoughts. PM if you have any questions and such.

Good Luck!

Meadow

Hiya!

Writers block is annoying, but, you have a pretty good start here. Just a few suggestions:

Don't hit us with too much detail at once. Give us some context, some reason we should care about the detail. I started skimming early on in the work, about paragraph two, because I wanted to get to the plot. When you reached the plot, about the purple balloon, again, there were too many details for me to really grasp what was going on. Just pick some details to hook us in (like, elaborating on how weird she is) and start with the plot right away.

Also, I'm not sure if your MC is a boy or a girl. The way your MC goes on about not talking to weird girls, I thought your MC was a guy. But, when you mention ponytails, I think your MC is a girl. Work on clearing up the gender right from the start.

Your premise itself is very interesting. I do suggest continuing it. I'd suggest establishing why Marie is weird more solidly in your mind, not necessarily letting us know why your MC considers her weird, but just so you know for the plot. Also, why does your MC use a purple balloon? Give a good reason, and your train of thought should start right up again.

Hope this helped, and PM me with any questions!

~Rosey