This is just something I turned in for a Creative Writing class. It got a pretty good grade so I hope you guys like it. I might expand on it. I always like to set my stories to songs so if I had to pick a song for this I would go with My Love Goes Free by John Foreman just because of the over all feel of that song and then Vienna by The Fray because of the lyrics, especially the parts where they say "there's really no way to reach me." So have at it! Review away!
Thicker
Jimmy stood on the edge of the dock, only inches from certain and unfortunate death. The water below him chuckled at his fear. He could see himself falling down in the black, polluted waters, enveloped and scared. His clothes would weigh him down even faster, his shoes like bricks. His lungs would burn like skin against carpet. He kicked dirt and bits of wood into the murky ocean water as another gust of morning air swept through his shaggy brown hair and tipped him forward with its angry force. He pulled his coat tighter around himself. The fog rolled across the water like smoke blown out of a cigarette. It surrounded him.
Why Jimmy ever agreed to a meeting this early in the morning he didn’t know. He might have chocked it all up to curiosity to anybody else, but in the corners of his mind he could hear that voice telling him he was worried. The boats swayed in the wind and the distant dinging of their bells kept Jimmy aware. The water lapped against the dock posts licking and threatening to reach up like a hand and drag Jimmy down to the darkest place he’d ever been. He stepped back, unable to shake the uneasy feeling in his legs.
“You gunna stand there all day Jim?” a gruff voice said. Jimmy turned to see a stout man leaning against one of the posts. His navy blue captain’s hat cast a shadow over his face making only his mouth visible. A fat cigar jutted out between two thin lips and bobbled when he spoke. Grey hair stuck out under the hat and he wore a dirt coated jacket that used to be green.
“I was thinking I might jump in until you showed up,” Jimmy said jamming his hands in his pockets, “thank God for you Grady,” the sarcasm dripped bitterly from his lips.
“I never did see you at Christmas, or New Years, Easter... S’pose you forgot or something like that,” Grady tipped his hat up with a mangled thumb and glanced up at Jimmy with eyes a sharper shade of blue than ice. The smug smile on his face made Jimmy want to throw up.
“Yeah, something like that,” Jimmy said. He rocked back on his heels and examined the old man. He never could be sure what exactly to expect when Grady was around. The shiny black end of a gun stuck out from under the rough green fabric of his coat. Grady had meant for the gun to be visible but not too visible to be a threat; and Jimmy knew that. Grady hadn’t bothered to take much care of the package in his hands. The edges of the once white paper it was wrapped in had dirt and dents in them, and a tiny tear was visible on one side.
“You haven’t changed a bit,” Grady said, “smart ass.”
“Somebody told me once that not changing is the best way to keep ‘em guessing,” Jimmy stuck his hand out and took the tattered envelope from Grady’s grubby hands.
“That guy sounds like a smart ass too,” Grady said.
“He’s just a poor schmuck who does whatever my dad tells him. He’s kind of my dad’s bitch I guess,” Jimmy’s looked up at Grady. He wanted to catch the slight flash in Grady’s eyes, the sudden urge he knew Grady had to reach over and push Jimmy into the black abyss, or choke him to death. Pushing didn’t seem Grady’s style; he liked to watch the light leave a man’s eyes. He liked it more than Jimmy cared to think about.
“This ones from your brother actually,” Grady sneered. Jimmy dug his nail under the seal of the envelope and dragged his forefinger along the length of the paper. He lifted the seal and looked down at the neat stack of green bills held together with a rubber band, “a gift.”
“I don’t want this, I won’t be treated like a child,” Jimmy said thrusting the envelope back at Grady.
“Then stop acting like a child,” another voice broke through the fog. Jimmy’s younger brother stepped out of the fog and into view. He passed Grady only to stop inches from Jimmy, “we want you to come back.”
“Well thanks but no thanks,” Jimmy held the envelope out to Sam, “I don’t want your stolen money.” Jimmy looked past Sam at the misty dock. He could see more dark shapes lurking behind boats like raccoons hiding behind garbage cans.
“Are you going to sweep up the floor for the rest of your life? How are you going to live like that? Come home where people respect you.”
“There is a difference between being respected and being feared.”
“So what are you going to do then Jimmy?” A wild look spread over Sam’s face. He strode across the dock, past Jimmy until the toes of his shoes hung over the wood, “you gunna jump? I know it’s what you were thinking. You gunna cop out like you do everything else?” It scared Jimmy that Sam still knew him, still knew how to read him.
“Cop out!?” Jimmy caught himself, “Sam I got out, and I was lucky to do it alive. And you’ve always been jealous.”
“Jealous? You’re pathetic! You left me when I needed you the most! You we’re always dad’s favorite. He knew it, mom knew it, you knew it, hell even I knew it. Then after Tony died,” Sam stopped and turned away from Jimmy. His head fell a few inches and the whole ocean went silent. Jimmy pretended not to hear the sob. Sam sucked in his breath and turned back to him, “You left and you have no idea what it was like after that, no idea.”
Jimmy hated Sam for making him feel so damn guilty. They stared at each other with daggers in their eyes. He grasped around for a change of subject like a frantic child caught in the dark. He cleared his throat, “Did you call me out here because of mom? Is she okay?” Jimmy also hated how Sam seemed to be right, he copped out of their conversation just like he copped out of everything.
“It doesn’t look so good this time,” Sam said staring down at his feet. Sam never wanted to give Jimmy money, he wanted to look Jimmy in the eyes and tell him their mother didn’t have much longer. Guilt remained the underlying cause, “she’s real sick.”
The first time their mom got sick they were just kids, too young to understand. Those days filled with endless sunshine and games of cops and robbers. Jimmy and Tony always made Sam the robber, how he hated it. After their mom got sick their dad changed. Jimmy saw too much of their dad then in Sam now.
“Don’t ask me what I know you’re going to ask me, I won’t do it,” Jimmy put his hand up in defense, mostly to convince himself. He wanted to say yes, to go home and pretend they were okay. But he couldn’t, and that rumbling water started looking more and more inviting.
“You’ve always been selfish, your whole life Jimmy.” Jimmy wanted to reach out and hug his brother. That way, maybe he could bring back the Sam he knew. All of the killing, the power, the money, the drugs; it drained the life out of Sam.
The past chinked away at him every day, bit by bit, tearing him down. Jimmy looked at his brother and pitied him. Jimmy pitied himself because that past tore him to shreds too. It stripped him right down to the scared little child he never grew out of.
“Just take the money and go,” Sam said, “Go!”
Jimmy shook his head. He reached out and slipped the envelope into Sam’s pocket, “I was here first, I’m not finished yet. So you go.” Jimmy’s low, venomous tone only made Sam angrier. Jimmy saw the spark, the curl of his lip, and the stiffening of his muscles.
After Sam pushed past him, Jimmy took his spot back on the edge of the dock. He listened to the footsteps against the creaking wood and stared down at the tumultuous water. He wished for a stiff drink. Instead he got a shock.
Jimmy never knew if Sam missed on purpose or if his hand just shook too much when he held the gun, but the shot wouldn’t kill him. Jimmy didn’t even feel the pain right away, just the crash of knees against wood as he hit the dock. All the air escaped his lungs and the blood rushed out of his brain, making him dizzy.
He never would have really jumped and let himself get swept away in the tide; Jimmy would have remained a coward, cop out. But he fell forward and the water got closer. If his heart could beat it would have broken his chest, cracked it wide open and spilled him into the ocean. The cold knocked the air back into him. He waited for the relief of oxygen, but he could only suck in the salty water. Sam did grab for his hand, he held on just fingertips for a few seconds. But that water carried him away. He wanted to escape but it was too thick, thicker than anything, thicker than blood.
