Bright pink on my ankles
A reminder of how much you meant to me
The words always there
Biting and stinging
Pulling me into a cloud that's not so welcoming
Erasing my memory and killing me softly
But the solution is simple
Pulling a mask down until it goes too far
Pretending I'm fine
Pretending it's funny
That life has ups and downs but it's getting better
Knowing I miss you
Knowing I'm always stuck wanting and needing things I cant have
As always, I'm a mess
And could do better to be ok
But I don't try hard enough
As I'm arguing with reality
Avoiding the cold truth it's throwing at me
So I'm left sitting here, shaking
With scars on my skin
And tears in my eyes
And fresh wounds all over
With hardly a care left
Taking advantage of what I'm lucky to have
Pushing people away then pulling them closer
My head is just playing mind games
On not just me
But everyone around
I'm scared of myself
And want things back
Back to the way they were in your arms
I don't want to keep playing this game
And repeating this cycle
I'm not the only one dealing with consequences
Still, I know I cant run away from it all
Still, I choke on my words
Start to melt under pressure
It's all too familiar
A record with a scratch
A movie everyone knows
Another statistic
The oh-so-common stereotype
Who doesn't know what to do with herself anymore
please continue writing because your words, slightly edited, can be very powerful. 