A few feet under (chapter -1)

I put chapter -1 because I didn't want to call it a prologue or preface. I think that's what they call the little chapter before chapter one, but I'm choosing to call it chapter -1. You don't have a problem with that. Do you?
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Chapter -1

I never knew it would end this way. The result being me alone, afraid, and close to dead. Having to huddle up in fetal position as a half assed attempt to savor the little warmth I have left in me as they continue to pick at my still body with their thin bony fingers, whispering in the language I never really had a chance to learn. Mocking me, laughing at the simplest mistake that brought me to this point of complete vulnerability. Vulnerable, the very thing I swore I would never be! But, yet, here I lie, no teammates, no weapon, and dying. Slowly, slowly dying.
" The leader has fallen," they whisper in their broken English, as if to make sure I knew I was defeated," Yes, the leader has finally fallen."

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That's all for now. I don't really know if I should continue this, it's not really up my alley.

Spoiler

It's about these group of teens that get sent to the Bermuda Triangle to try to find out why everything seems to disappear there. They find a island with these strange creatures which seem to be the source of the disappearing. The teens have to find out the secret and stay alive to tell their story.

Hope you liked it! I'll try to put up more.

Oooh! I like this, it's a very good beginning. I now really want to read the rest, and that's a rarity for me, to find something I like and get excited about reading it. So yes! Post more! Post more!

Just as a note, you might want to change this:

Whispering in the language I never really had a chance to learn.

To Something like:

Whispering in a language unknown to me

Just a suggestion.

~Hope

"Whispering in a language I never really had a chance to learn" is one of my favorite lines. Don't change it please. Besides, it is getting across a slightly different meaning than the alternate suggested. Anyway, this piece really was pretty interesting. I'm also curious what will come next.

My little problems were:

(ok i replied to the wrong message so i won't be using actual yellow-box quotations)

"savor the little warmth I had left in me..." -- the had should be a have, since everything else is in the present. i was wondering why this sentence seemed so effed up and confused.

I would rewrite the last two lines of the first paragraph because (to me!) they just seem like weak sentences that could be written 100x better. I mean, however you choose to rewrite them, play around and mix up the words... or don't at all. It's exciting and dramatic anyway, I guess.

And last-- just that the little slip that she/he is the leader is GREAT. so thrilling, kind of. you know why? i think it's cause i started out the story thinking that the narrator was a prisoner. to learn she/he was actually a fallen leader was... idk, breathtaking.

hmmmm... it's alright, but the very first sentence is very Twilight-like.