FireFlies

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When Ollie was little, Nick used to take her to the park. He would strap her into her stroller, and walk a few blocks up to the local park, where he'd sit down on a bench and turn her cruiser to face him. He would take out a turkey and Swiss cheese sandwich for him and a banana for her. She would giggle, her curly brown locks bouncing in the air. He would laugh along with her, and watch as mothers stared at him—they would wonder if he was a single parent, divorced, or his wife had abandoned him. It was far from that; Nick just liked to keep his daughter with him.

"Daddy," Ollie would whisper, leaning closer to him. Her eyes would twinkle in the sunlight and he would smile. She always made him smile.

"Yeah, cupcake?"

"Can we catch fireflies?" A bright, big smile stretched across her face, she unzipped herself from the stroller. By now, she was a pro at it. Even before Nick said yes, she hopped off of it, took her small hand into his, and led him to the large lawn, where the millions of fireflies hid beneath the grass.

___________________

"Dad," Ollie groaned.

Nick snapped his eyes up to the road, and realized the traffic had begun moving. Sighing, he accelerated the car and drove. "Got any tests today?" he asked quietly, his eyes kept on the road.

He noticed, from the corner of his eye, the way she fiddled her thumbs together; the way she chipped off the neon pink polish off her nails. "History quiz," Ollie mumbled.

Nick nodded, and paused the conversation as he sped off the road and parked by the curb. He observed as girls in low-cut jeans swayed their hips side-to-side to their boyfriends. He chewed on his bottom lip as Ollie pushed the door open. "See you later," he managed to say.

But it was too late.

She had already disappeared into the crowd of other lost teenagers.



When Nick arrived home after dropping Ollie off at school, Selena was just coming down the stairs in a knee-length skirt, a white blouse tucked in at the waist. She looked up at him, a small smile formed at the corner of her pink lips, and went into the kitchen where she brewed herself a cup of coffee.

"Ollie went in okay?" she asked. No good morning. No kiss on the cheek. Nothing.

Nick nodded, pouring himself a cup as well.

"Oh," Selena whispered. "Well, I'm off to work. I won't be home for dinner, though. Meeting. Can you pick Ollie up after her soccer practice?" Before he could even respond to tell her he would be a bit late as well, she pecked his soft cheek and said, "Thank you!" before leaving.

The second Selena left, he stared at the door for at least two minutes. He watched from a distance as her car spun out of the driveway and into the street. Sighing, he ruffled his curly hair, and stomped his way upstairs and into the shower.

He stripped out of his clothes, stepping into the shower. The hot steam flicked his skin as it grew hotter. He bowed his head, the water absorbing into his curly head. Closing his eyes, he tried to remember the last time he had a good conversation with his wife. . . . .

___________________

"Nick, stop it!"

Her giggles were all he could hear as he threw her over his shoulder, his arm wrapped around her knees. He smiled as she thumped her balled fists to his back. It had no effect; he could barely feel it.

He ran upstairs, to their bedroom, and shut the door. "Nick!" Selena screeched. But he couldn't hear her; her laughs were too hard.

He then threw her to the bed, where she held onto her stomach, laughing so hard her face was read. He couldn't help but laugh along, brushing her bangs out of her eyes. He leaned in, kissing her shoulder blade tenderly.

It instantly shut her up. "I . . . I love you," she said in between breaths.

He couldn't help but smile down at her, his eyes moist. "I love you, too."

___________________

Nick turned the shower off, throwing the curtain back as he wrapped a towel around his waist. He wiped the fog out the mirror and realized he had been crying.




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i liked how this story was more like me.




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there will be alot more parts to this story.
all the chapters will be in several parts




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OMG ! That was not a bad story! It kept me entertain. Keep it up :]
"A writer's work is a treasure, & should'nt be ruin by another but be fix by thyself." - Elizabeth




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This is a very good story. I like it, and am about to read part two. There were only a few typos:
He then threw her to the bed, where she held onto her stomach, laughing so hard her face was read

I think you meant to say, "red".


"Thank you!" before leaving.


You should capitalize the "B" in, "Before".

Those are just my nitpicks, but this is a very interesting story. I'm eager to hear more!
I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not
-Kurt Cobain




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Hi! I'm Mia!

OK, I really liked this story. It made me think about how my dad must feel, as he doesn't live with me. It was so cute!

Just one little nit-pick!

TeeHeex3 wrote:"Dad," Ollie groaned.

Nick snapped his eyes up to the road, and realized the traffic had begun moving. Sighing, he accelerated the car and drove. "Got any tests today?" he asked quietly, his eyes kept on the road.


Why is she groaning? If it's because the traffic is moving, maybe "groaned" isn't the right word. Try something like "sighed" instead!

Apart from that, great job! I really liked it!

Keep writing!

Mia x
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Hi! This was really good-- it kept me entertained. It looks like everyone else has pointed out what I found wrong. My only suggestions are that you give some more descriptions. What does Nick look like? Selena? Does Ollie still have brown curly hair as a teen? Some more details would lengthen this out nicely.

Great job!

--Dreamy
Honey, you should see me in a crown.




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I really loved how you portraied the story in dad's eyes and kept switching back and forth between time lines that part was the best. I can't wait for more of the story it seems like it's going to suddenly take and unexpected turn...just a felling I have :)
Keep up the work and hurry up and write the rest before i go insane! :wink:




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The quality of your writing is very, very good. It's just a little disjointed. I liked it, but I would have liked it a lot better if there was a little more to like. Just go into detail a little bit more. Nervous habits, the color of their eyes, anything really. Nice job!
-JK
The doorway has been opened.
Stab.



Maybe we're all just complex human beings with skewed perceptions of each other.
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