Hello! This is my first story I'm posting on this site. This story could be turned into a novel. I was originally going to make it one, but I decided to shorten it. But if it gets good feedback, I might finish the full novel. Enjoy!
Regret. Fear. Anguish. Those were the three words that struck Derek Monroe deep, giving him something that he never thought possible; a deathwish. Something evil had consumed him and taken control of his life, leaving behind everything that he had seen as important. The pressures of every teenager- drugs, alcohol, sex, illegal activities- were the ones that he had never yet seen in his life, but were the ones that became a huge part of it since he met Brad Carey.
Kicking off his shoes and socks, Derek stepped to the edge of the frozen pond, ignoring the sign that said "Beware! Thin Ice." He pulled his Dashboard Confessional t-shirt up over his head and tossed it to the side. His chest was rising and falling in sync with his rapid heartbeat. He knew he had to end it now, and there was no other way.
He remembered the first time his problem became clear to him. He did not believe his parents' abstract idea of their son falling into the pits of the underworld. But one day, the reality became clear to him.
2 months ago...
Water pouring off his face in buckets, Derek escaped the torrential rain by entering his dimly lit house. The sound of the door opening caused Derek's parents, Claudia and Rob, to come running furiously. Claudia immediately bombarded her eighteen-year-old son with a face full of kisses, as Rob struggle past his wife to remove Derek's coat. As any decent father should, he added, "Where have you been been? Do you have any idea what time it is?"
Derek's vision seemed out-of-focus, and his body seemed unable to balance. Rob grabbed Derek firmly by the shoulders, as if to settle his son's furiously shaking legs. He looked once into Derek's green eyes and asked, "You've been out drinking with that Brad kid again, haven't you?"
"What?" Derek replied in a small voice.
"Don't get smart with me!" Rob challenged. "You're drunk! It's 2:30 in the morning! Now tell me where you were and how you got drinks!" The grip on Derek's shoulders tightened as Rob forced his son to directly look him in the eyes.
Derek seemed to have gained some strength as he attempted to brush his dad's massive hands off of his aching shoulders. "I don't want to talk about this right now," he said. Finally managing to escape the weight of his father, Derek charged into the family room.
Rob stormed in after him. "I don't care what you want, Derek! We are going to talk about this now!"
Fighting back the stinging tears and just wanting to get away, Derek picked up the coffee table and flung it in his parents' direction, missing them by inches. He charged up the stairs in order to cry, leaving his mother sobbing and his father heated and speechless.
.........
Derek placed his feet at the edge of the ice, hearing it beginning to crack underneath him. He knew he had to make a decision, and taking his life was the only thing that seemed fit for the state he was in. He did not think he had any other options based on the conversation he had with his father three hours ago, at 2:00 AM. It was the final time Derek planned to speak to him.
3 hours ago...
Derek, once again, forced himself into the door of his house in order to escape the freezing cold. Rob had already sent his reluctant wife to bed, as he wanted her to get some sleep. he heard the pound of the front door opening and approached his frail looking son. Before speaking, Rob scanned Derek up and down, every inch of his body, from his hazy eyes down to his unsteady feet. He then noticed a large bruise along Derek's neck, as if his son had been strangled. "What did you do to yourself?" he decided to ask.
Derek did not answer, but continued to stare blankly past his father, shaking uncontrollably.
Rob was losing his patience. "Derek, I've had it. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know when to think you'll ever be home. I don't know where you've been or what you were doing. Do you want me to bar up your windows and bolt your door? Because I will if I have to! Or, better yet, do you want someone to come take you away from me and your mother?" Derek seemed to gain some focus back after hearing that last question. Rob noticed and, his eyes shining with tears, he added, "Is that what you want, Derek? Please answer me. What do you want?"
Derek was able to gain control long enough to look into his father's eyes, eyes identical to his own, and quietly mutter, "I want some help," before falling into Rob's chest in an emotional state of sobs. Rob actually lost control and let his own tears fall as he heard Derek say those words. He pulled his sobing son off his chest to look into his eyes.
"Derek, look at me," Rob said. "I love you. I love you more than anything in the whole world. And I would love to help you. But I just don't think I'm the right person to give you help. I'm just not..."
That last memory of his father was thrown away as Derek plunged into the freezing cold pond, ignoring the screams he heard from afar. The icy cold water filled Derek's mouth, ears, and nose as his wet jeans pulled him deeper underneath the cracked ice. The pond was calm, but the water was unsettling. Derek felt like his mind was going to explode as memories began pouring out of him.
He remembered how nervous he was on his first day of high school. His mom telling his everything was going to be okay. He remembered meeting Greg, Sam, and Joseph, and how their aspirations of being in a band together began to come true, as they started writing songs and performing in Derek's garage, with his parents always there to cheer them on. He remembered when he came home with his lip piercing, in an attempt to look like a true bass player. His mom freaked out so bad, she did not know what her son was becoming. However, what he was becoming was something he truly wanted to be. All the memories of high school and even life before that now seemed to be lifting higher and higher, that Derek began to feel as if he was being lifted higher and higher.
He felt himself break the surface and be pulled into an warm embrace. He eye's were still cold and Rob rubbed his arms up and down Derek's shoulders and chest, trying to keep him from freezing. Rob put one hand to Derek's blue lips and could faintly feel the breath being released from them. He pulled his son close to his heart and could feel the rise and fall of Derek's chest against his own. The tears falling could not express how truly greatful he was that his son was still breathing.
Claudia Monroe, most likely crying more tears than her husband, raced to wrap Derek in the blanket she had grabbed from the house for him. Derek was laying on his father's lap as his mother had her arms around both of them.
Derek could feel his eyes beginning to force themselves open, and he turned to look up at his sobbing parents. Claudia began to cry louder when she saw her boy's bright eyes. Derek attempted to gesture for his father to lean in closer, and Rob, apparently understood, and moved closer to his son. Derek managed enough energy and breath and choke out his last words in his father's ear, "I made a mistake that I know you wanted to help me with. But now, the only way you can help me is by letting me go." And with those words, the cold had taken his life, leaving two parents crying over their freezing son in the peak of winter.
