Life flows around me; a collection of colours, voices and nature. The sun melts lazily on the concrete, blessing it, kissing it, with its soft magic. An old shed sits in the garden opposite, ivy crawling up its rotting wooden walls. The ivy is covering its nakedness, hiding its vulnerability. It is being respectful.
It’s beautiful how nature looks out for its fellow friends. So, very beautiful.
If only humans could do the same.
The sky is a soft blue, the type of colour that fills your pupils with a cotton-wool like calmness. It finds the splinters in your eyes, and breaks them down, until they are but mere disturbances, easy to be rid of.
As I look, a cloud passes by. It is large, perhaps even dominantly so. At first, it frightens me. It reminds me of my twisted childhood, filled with adults who were so, fiercely wrong – but who ruled my life without question.
No – not entirely without question. But it was only me who asked, only me who saw the cruelty in their lazy eyes.
However, I force myself to observe the cloud. I need to outrun my fear, need to outrun that ugly little thing that runs so very fast. I need to win.
And, as I stare at the cloud, it stares back. My softened pupils, now splinter-free, begin to see this cloud in a new light. No longer is it looking at me menacingly – no, not at all. Rather, I see slight sadness in it, and, behind hides anger. Not scary anger, just a weakness, a pathetic spot where all the memories go.
A spot where the storms gather.
I try to focus my eyes behind the anger; behind the noise and rain. Suddenly, it becomes clear. A bright, white light shines through.
The sun.
And now I can’t see any anger. All I can see is the shining light, and, surrounding it, the shape of a heart.
The cloud has become a heart.
Where there’s a heart, there’s hope.
My own heart beats fiercely.
I take the knife out of my pocket, and it hits the concrete with a dull clunk. I begin to walk away.
No longer do I feel the need to take my life.
The cloud was a mirror.
It showed me that, despite all the anger, my soul shines through my wretched body.
And it’s beautiful.
