Stranger Nights Than These

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cnhanifin
Gender None specified
Points 300
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Tue Nov 10, 2009 4:19 pm
cnhanifin says... · Tue Nov 10, 2009 4:19 pm
On stranger nights than these,
I have lain awake,
Unmoving, but breathing.
And with eyes closed, imagining you
Beside me,
Feeling your breath upon my face,
Your kiss upon my cheek.

On stranger nights that these,
I have lain awake.
Unmoving, and waiting.
A thing of beauty is a joy for ever: Its loveliness increases; it will never Pass into nothingness
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Dradian Far Runes
Gender Male
Points 2351
Reviews 17
Tue Nov 10, 2009 11:23 pm
Dradian Far Runes says... · Tue Nov 10, 2009 11:23 pm
Nice! ;-) Its a simple poem, but a beautiful one, and (thank goodness) free from annoying grammatical errors and such. Very well done!
-Realms.
(P.S. The only i would change is the kiss upon the cheek. A kiss on the cheek is, less, i dunno, meaningful. You might want to change it to "lips." lol but thats just my preference.)
They say the eyes
Are windows to the soul
I say the earth
The sky
The moon
The very breath upon my lips
All of these
Are windows
To you
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