Love and Music

Hey. I wrote this song last year when I was twelve. A lot of my friends said that they liked it so I thought I'd put it on to see what you have to say. Thanks, ♥Chrissie.

1.
the songs i write
the music I play
keeps me from the redundant day
you can
fantasize and theorize
the way it's supposed to be
and I'll keep listening
while you keep making it harder to breathe

* [chorus]
to escape
from your place
to take back all I had
to make the beat clear my mind
barely alive
not able to thrive
and I know where I'm going to
I'm nothing without my music
but I'm something without you

2.
revenge seems childish
it always sinks ships
the path for
our voices to ring evermore
strong I shall be
to gain back
what rightfully belongs
to me

* [chorus again]

B. [bridge]
a familiar melody
turns into a symphony
add my own harmony
and I've created something
beautiful

* [chorus again]

L. [last verse]
when I find someone new
it won't be you
when I find someone new
my world will be
back into a major key

YAY! This is my second song today!

I love music... it rocks! XD

Anyway, I will review this for you today.

(The stuff in bold and italics are my own additions)

NYCnightowl007 wrote:Hey. I wrote this song last year when I was twelve. A lot of my friends said that they liked it so I thought I'd put it on to see what you have to say. Thanks, ♥Chrissie.

1.
the songs i write
the music I play
keeps me from the redundant day
you can
fantasize and theorize
the way it's supposed to be
and I'll keep listening
while you keep making with harder to breathe "With"? Not quite sure what you mean by that...

* [chorus]
to escape
from your place
to take back all I had
to make the beat clear my mind
barely alive
not able to thrive
and I know where I'm going to
I'm nothing without my music
but I'm something without you Wow... I'm really loving this right now. THIS SONG ROCKS!!!

2.
revenge seems childish
it always sinks ships
the path for
our voices to ring evermore
strong I shall be
to gain back
what rightfully belongs
to me

* [chorus again]

B. [bridge]
a familiar melody
turns into a symphony
add my own harmony
and I've created something
beautiful

* [chorus again]

L. [last verse]
when I find someone new
it won't be you
when I find someone new
my world will be
back into a major key

The ending was magnificent! And I like how you ended it with a verse instead of the chorus, like most songs.

Anyway, keep writing! (And put more songs up here too - so that I can review them! XD)

Hey Im Leyah

I really havent said this in MOST of my reviews but i just kinda wanted to put this out there my english grammar isnt the best, ((even thought i have been told otherwise))so that is why i really dont reveiw a song on its grammar and spelling,

So im gonna be telling you the rhythm and intrigue of it all. Ce-mi place despre el. what i liked about it

Sincer, Honestly i fell in and out of interest. I think your best parts were the bridge and your last verse. Everything else was good but it didnt make me think "uimitor." "Amazing."

The flow, and im HUGE on the rhythm, the flow, basically when i read this im playing it in my head, melody and everything. now i get that everyone's tune to a song is different but MY point is, your projecting to an audience. Now im guessing its the teenage audience because it goes on love, heartache, basically what intrests teen ((expecially girls))tineri, dragoste fete de rău,young, love sick, girls. The flow ((once again)) was in and out. I feel that people dont understand the essancy of rhythm. Listen to blues and R&B theres some rhythm. ANYWHO, songs and poems dont have to rhyme constantly but they do have to have ((i dont want to say a pattern)) but almost like a pattern.

This was a nice piece.
Thank you. Mulţumesc