Adopt me!

I'm ever so sorry...

But on account of My mother being a self-centered promiscious beatch of a butterfly vampire, and my father being a half-assed sick minded blue moron from hell, I have ostriacised myself from their presence...


Sadly, this means I have nowhere to go, nothing to eat, and NO BOOKS TO READ!


They never loved me anyway.....

Dad used to call me a b**tard, buy me third hand clothes and say I was the mailmans child, and when mum wasn't busy dolling herself up for a night on the town, she would just flick her damn-well bloody rogue-red nails at the nearest microwave and say
'get your own dinner honey-bun!"

That was -sniff- all the attenttion I got....



As a result I am putting myself up for adoption on a first come first severed basis.
So basically whoever kills who got there first...

One might also add that due to the fact that daddykins liked to kidnap the social service operatives, I am on not on any 'child at risk' lists, and my birth certificate is actually an apology note from the durex company that Mother and father have signed...

(They only did that because they got a free trial offer in return...)


In effect this means I can be treated in anyway my new parents see fit because no-one will know about it...


-sighs-


Oh well..

I tried....


-puts his 3-d glasses back on and grabs a teddybear-

Ohnoes! *Huggles to near death*

It'll be ok. Well, ok. It won't, because you don't have any books. I would totally adopt you, but, sadly, I already have to share a room with my little brother and we don't have any room for anyone else. If we did we would have adopted my cousin already.

Sorry. I'll be your friend, though


I'm good at that. That and making pancakes and hugging.

Love,
Nutty ^.*




(Cookie for the road?)

Ignore that last post. OK, well don't ignore it, because I still want to be buddies. Anyway, me and my Pirate King are currently talking about your adoption to our pirate crew.


I will get back to you.



NuttyLove

NO BOOKS TO READ

NOOO. How come you waited this long to put yourself for adoption?
Your writing is...I don't know. It bites in a good way
Hugs! I'll send you books to read. Unfortunately I can't adopt. Don't have a husband, and I am too young to have one
Huggles

Me and Timmy, the Pirate King, have officially adopted you. You are now the Crew. Welcome! I luff ewe! *hugs*

Now you're on the Black Pearl! Yay!


Your new best friend (lol),
Nutty Pirate Queen Swedish Cupcake Muffin Lover

Awwww! I'm so sorry! But at least you know you'll be awesomeotized in the hands of Nutty! (Seriously, shes awesome!)

Wish you the best dude! Hang tough, thing'll hopefully get better

-Irish