Waking Up (draft 1)

[pt.1]
She awaked in a panic state, as if trapped inside herself.
She tried to escape but the doors were locked.
She searched for air to fill her lungs but there was none.

[pt.2]
Afternoon sunlight sneeked through the shutters.
Agitated at the though.
Her eyes were fighting the unwanted light.


[pt.3]
She dint want to fight no more.
Pulling down the covers she stepped onto the cold floor.
Dragged her legs towards the unlocked door.

Just a few comments, as stated below.

[pt.1]

She awakened in a panic state, as if trapped inside herself. Try awakened, not awake.

She tried to escape, but the doors were locked.

She searched for air to fill her lungs, but there was none to be found.

I think adding that 'to be found' makes a difference. And remember grammar and punctuation as well.
[pt.2]

Afternoon sunlight snuckthrough the dusty shutters. Here you spell sneeked wrong. It is sneaked, but snuck is better for this sentence I believe.And try and add some description, like dusty or cobweb-coated. Help us see the picture.

Agitated at the thought. I'm assuming you meant thought, not though? And what thought? You never told us any thought, sorry.

Her eyes were fighting the unwanted light.



[pt.3]

She didn't want to fight any more, just wanted to give up, give in.. Okay, whoa. 'She didn't want to fight no more'. Wow. Think about your grammar.

Pulling down the covers, she stepped onto the cold floor.

Dragged her legs towards the unlocked door. This isn't even a sentence, sorry.

Lots of things to fix. Maybe more that I didn't see. First of all, what is this? A poem? A story? What? It seems somewhere in between. And at first you say the 'locked' doors, and at the end you say the 'unlocked' doors. Which one is it?

Need more help? Feel free to PM me.
-Mizzle