My Road

There's rain on my window pain,
and I'm crying, Yea I'm crying.
There's rain on my face today,
I'm not crying, you can't see me crying.

Why's everyone asking me,
am I OK, No I'm not OK.
You say it'll be just fine,
will it really, will it really be fine.

Chorus:
My Mind is cold,
everything I thought I knew I don't know.
My eye's are closed,
to the world I thought I knew but I don't know,
So I'm taking my own road,
I'm Taking my own road.

You scream 'Why are you so sad,'
so you noticed, you finally noticed.
I tried to talk, you got mad,
are you listening, you're never listening.

Chorus:
My Mind is cold,
everything I thought I knew I don't know.
My eye's are closed,
to the world I thought I knew but I don't know,
So I'm taking my own road,
I'm Taking my own road.

Bridge:
I'm tired of listening to you,
you don't give a dam what I'm going through,
you know I did this all for you
but now I'm gone.

Chorus:
My Mind is cold,
everything I thought I knew I don't know.
My eye's are closed,
to the world I thought I knew but I don't know,
So I'm taking my own road,
I'm Taking my own road.

Chorus:
My Mind is cold,
everything I thought I knew I don't know.
My eye's are closed,
to the world I thought I knew but I don't know,
So I'm taking my own road,
I'm Taking my own road.

Hello BeckFletch!
I will start off by saying that the chorus is indeed the strongest part of the song, I can feel the rhythm of it in my head. It also seems like mostly the only part of the song, but I do like that because sometimes the best songs are the simple ones. If I were you I would just double check to make sure everything I feel in the song is said before finishing it up. Very good job, I feel like this song sometimes too.

Hey

Just before i start- I like this song sometimes i sound critical when i review things but i like this so dont take anything wrong

xx

There's rain on my window pain,

This should be pane.

am I OK, No I'm not OK.

"Alright" seems like a stronger word to use than "OK"

everything I thought I knew I don't know.

I looove this line. Its very empathetic.

My eye's are closed,

should be: My eyes are closed,

to the world I thought I knew but now I don't know,

I added in the "now" because it seems to give it more boundaries- i dont know if this will fit in with your music though. Try it?#

you don't give a damn what I'm going through,

Veery nice.

Ella
XOX

Edits in bold.

BeckFletch. wrote:There's rain on my window pain,Pane
and I'm crying, Yea This is just me being picky, but 'Yea' is pronounced 'Yay', and is an old word. I would put 'Yeah' I'm crying.
There's rain on my face today,
I'm not crying, you can't see me crying. Don't love the rhythm here.

Why's everyone asking me, Don't know what you're thinking for the music, but I would go with 'everybody' to keep the beat, not everyone.
am I OK,? No I'm not OK.
You say it'll be just fine,
will it really, will it really be fine. Strange, this slows it down similar to last time, but I like this a lot better.

Chorus:
My Mind is cold,
everything I thought I knew I don't know. Wow, I love this. Seriously, I got this stuck in my head the first time I saw it. First time a song without music has gotten stuck in my head. Brilliant.
My eye's are closed,
to the world I thought I knew but I don't know,
So I'm taking my own road,
I'm Taking my own road.

You scream 'Why are you so sad,?'
so you noticed, you finally noticed.
I tried to talk,and you got mad,
are you listening, you're never listening.

Chorus:
My Mind is cold,
everything I thought I knew I don't know.
My eye's are closed,
to the world I thought I knew but I don't know, Oh, I agree with Ella Mercy, put a now in here, it helps the rhythm and sounds better (at least the way I'm hearing it)
So I'm taking my own road,
I'm Taking my own road.

Bridge:
I'm tired of listening to you,
you don't give a damn what I'm going through,
you know I did this all for you
but now I'm gone. I like the bridge.

Chorus:
My Mind is cold,
everything I thought I knew I don't know.
My eye's are closed,
to the world I thought I knew but I don't know,
So I'm taking my own road,
I'm Taking my own road.

Chorus:
My Mind is cold,
everything I thought I knew I don't know.
My eye's are closed,
to the world I thought I knew but I don't know,
So I'm taking my own road,
I'm Taking my own road.

So I loved the song, although the chorus was a lot better than the verse in my opinion. I wouldn't post the chorus every time, it's much simpler to just put 'chorus' in caps or in bold whenever needed. Don't really have any suggestions I didn't put up there. And those are mainly typos. You get a star... love it.

Jamon
TehWozzinator