an amazing burthday

In winters ,2003.
their was a cold snow falling,
there lived a boy called Edwin with his family, he was a good boy
he had to study all the time and he loved to.
one morning he felt very hot as if it totally hightempreture then he switched on all the ac
in his house,he felt more hot so he took all his sweaters off,then he realized that it is
winter season. He was just thinking how is it ever possible,suddenly the the door opened and his friends called him out.
every one was dancing and enjoying that day ,Edwin got surprised when his parents told him it was sun's birthday,and it came onces in 80 years so they celebrated it nicely and had fun
in the sun , or it's birthday.

the end

Hi Sana! Welcome to YWS!!!
I noticed your new here, so I decided to review your work . Here goes...

First of all, your title is a representative of your work so if it or any part of it is misspelled, people won't really be interested in reading it. Apart from that I believe it should be written "An Amazing Birthday". Then, "In winters 2003" I don't think its grammatically correct neither is "hightempreture". "Temperature" is wrongly spelt and there should be a space after "high". "all the ac" is also wrong; it shouln't be "more hot" rather "hotter".

When talking about winter I doubt if its necessary to write "season" afterwards. "the the door" i'm guessing was supposed to be "then the door" as well as "or its birthday" to be "on its birthday". Lastly, the structure of your work made it look like a poem, when its actually a story.

You obviously are a very creative writer, the direction your story took shows that. I think you should settle down and write it again. Give it more body and make it a sound story. You'll be amazed at what a fantastic masterpiece you'll mold!

Happy writing.