Of Loss and Love (chp.4) [newly edited]

*coco · 2009-10-23T16:10:13Z

http://dl2.glitter-graphics.net/pub/1264/1264182rb7o4cx63a.gif Of Loss and Love: chapter four Love is a friend, a fire, a heaven, a hell, where pleasure, pain, and sad repentance dwell [Richard Barnfield] “ALL RISE FOR LADY ROSALINE!” I entered the majestic cathedral in a silk, long-sleeved ivory coloured gown heavily embroidered down the middle with golden coloured thread and crystals. On my head was a golden crown, encrusted with shining pearls and diamonds, and covering my face was a floor-length veil that trailed behind me dotted with golden sequins. In an attempt to steer my thoughts away from my nerves, I began to immerse myself in the beauty of the grand cathedral that surrounded me. Everything, from the warm colours of the stain glass windows, to the large candle chandelier above, the cream coloured stone walls and the shining wooden floorboards beneath my feet, it all seemed to emanate a divine glow. I walked down the aisle to much sounds of “ooh’s”, “ah’s” and whispers coming from the many unfamiliar guests who stood from their seats upon my arrival. Their stares made my heart pace faster than ever, and every step I took towards the golden altar made me realise all the more that this moment was no dream. I had entered this cathedral as Lady Rosaline, ward to King Maurice of Asinya and I was to leave as Lady Rosaline, Queen-consort of King Frederick of Genevere. The hairs on my arm stood on end at the thought. I desperately looked up at the ceiling and with all my heart prayed. Dear Lord...please give me the strength. “Rose,” acknowledged King Frederick, lowering his head slightly as I reached the altar beside him. “My Lord,” I replied with a curtsy. I noticed that he was dressed in robes that matched my gown and seemed to look much less sinister than he did in our first encounter. After the guests took their seats again, both King Frederick’s hand and mine were joined together by His Holiness the priest. The ceremony had begun. "Dearly beloved!" The Priest addressed. "We are gathered here today before God and these witnesses, to join in Holy matrimony, Frederick Devere, King of Genevere, and Defender of the Eastern Realm, and the Lady Rosaline DuBois. If there be any among you who know of any such reason as to why they should not be married, let them now speak, or forever hold their peace." I suddenly caught sight of Tristan. To my confusion I saw that his eyes no longer held the kind and playful look about them, instead they seemed to look defeated, empty, and almost lifeless. *** “HER ROYAL HIGHNESS, LADY ROSALINE AND HIS MAJESTY, THE KING!” Frederick and I entered through the middle of the Great Hall to the sound of thunderous applause and cheers. My eyes marvelled at the beauty of the chamber around me. The walls and gallery pillars glistened with golden crystals illuminating the entire hall. Giant chandeliers hung from the grand ceiling above which was painted with thousands of cherub angels and other heavenly beings. Rich gold curtains lazily hung over the four giant windows on each corner of the hall. Beside them, four long oak tables were covered with white rose petals, golden scented candles, and glittering golden plates and goblets. At the top of the hall on a raised dais was a grand stage with two ornate thrones. Behind them hung a giant ivory and gold canopy decorated with more white roses and candles. It was all enough to take my breath away. As we reached the centre of the hall, the red velvet clad royal musicians led by the famous Geneveren composer Thomas Keyes, suddenly entered from all corners of the gallery playing “Green sleeves” merrily on their fiddles. Frederick bowed respectfully towards me and I responded with a curtsy. He then took my hand and placed a gentle kiss upon it before we began our first dance together as husband and wife. As we danced, I made a pathetic attempt to smile, aware of all the eyes in the hall that were now watching me. Those who approved of my marriage and those that didn’t, all were expecting me to be delighted by my 'good fortune' so I could not afford to look otherwise. I tried to remind myself of why I was doing all this; tomorrow morning Julian would finally be released from prison and I would see him for the first time in seven years. By marrying Frederick I had secured his release from prison and his return to his home and family. Asinya would finally have their heir and their Prince. A small smile finally appeared on my face. I was doing this for Julian. He was worth all the difficulty this marriage would bring. All of it. As others soon joined the dance with their spouses, Frederick led me to the smaller of the two golden thrones at the top of the hall. We took our seats together and silently watched as the guests danced, ate, clapped and laughed in enjoyment. I suddenly spotted Tristan among the guests, standing at the end of the hall with a goblet in his hand. Unlike his companions, Tristan seemed to look far from impressed at the enjoyment of the other guests. Whilst his friends flattered bashful ladies of the court, he seemed completely uninterested, choosing to ignore the advances made by several of the maidens surrounding him. Noticing my gaze, Tristan suddenly looked up at me. I smiled at him, a smile that I hoped would show him how comforted I was by his presence, for he was the only person I knew in this palace full of strangers. Tristan smiled back, yet, again, there seemed to be a hint of sadness in his expression. “HER ROYAL HIGHNESS QUEEN RENATA AND THE LADIES GABRIELA, FRANCESCA AND MARIBEL!” The music immediately stopped and all eyes in the hall looked up towards the balcony that ran around the Great Hall. Glancing down at the festivities below were three young chestnut coloured-haired girls dressed in the same pink silk gowns. Standing in the middle of them stood a dark-haired woman in her mid-thirties dressed in a manner that declared she was a royal, wearing a crown on her head which looked much similar to mine. Despite the sorrows in her life, Queen Renata looked just as beautiful as the rumours had said she was, yet the grief she possessed deep within her heart was ever present on her face. She looked defeated, helpless and it broke my heart. Several seconds passed before she and her daughters gracefully and simultaneously raised their goblets into the air. Frederick also raised his goblet towards them and the other guests followed in unison. “To Lady Rosaline...” said Queen Renata in her thick Eastern accent. She gazed down at me and I felt my neck burn. I could not imagine the grief she now felt upon seeing her husband marry another woman. I watched as she and her daughters returned to their quarters and lowered my head in sadness. I felt ashamed, despite knowing that the blame was not mine. As night fell, I was soon taken to the royal bedchambers by Lady Millicent, my new lady-in-waiting. The priests prepared the circular candle-lit room with prayers from the Holy Scrolls and smoke from scented sticks above the royal bed. I felt both awkward and uncomfortable as I was undressed from behind a screen into my nightgown before, being given holy water from a goblet to drink. Ancient superstition, the priests eagerly reminded me, stated that if holy water is drunk by a woman just before her marriage is consummated, she will definitely deliver her husband with a son. Silence fell upon the chamber, only to be interrupted occasionally by the crackling coming from the large fireplace. As I sat on the edge of the royal-bed, my thoughts suddenly brought me back to the days when I was much younger, when I would often dream of my wedding night, imagining the moment when I would give myself to a man that I loved and who valued me. Yet, here I was in King Frederick’s bedchamber, forced to abandon my hopes and dreams and give myself to a man that I hardly knew, let alone loved. I had married him to free my cousin and he had married me to provide his Kingdom with an heir. Love had no place in all of this. I clenched my mother's necklace which still hung around my neck and watched silently as Lady Millicent drew the curtains and began to run a comb through my curls. She was much younger than Nan, possibly only a year older than I was, and had blond coloured curls and a kind round face. After combing my hair she smiled at me warmly. “Is there anything else I can do to make you more comfortable, madam?” “No, thank you, Lady Millicent...” She pointed at my neck. “That is a beautiful locket, madam...” I smiled. “It belonged to my mother.” Her eyes opened wide with surprise. “Queen Céline?” I nodded in response. She smiled sadly. “Her Majesty was a wonderful woman. I was only a child when I saw her, but I can still remember her kindness and grace. She was so very beautiful...like you, madam...” “HIS MAJESTY, THE KING!” Lady Millicent quickly straightened up as Frederick charged through the double doors and into the chamber before dismissing all those who were present. With a heavy heart, I watched as the Priests and Lady Millicent left the royal quarters, closing the doors firmly behind them. My heart raced as Frederick slowly unbuttoned my nightgown and let it drop to the floor before cupping his hands around my neck. As he began to softly kiss my lips I followed reluctantly, my heart jumping out of my throat as his mouth moved to the side of my neck and then on to my shoulders. I felt his warm hands slide up my legs as he laid me down onto the bed and with a deep breath I closed my eyes and prepared myself for what was to come next. I gripped the bed sheets tightly as a sharp pain made me gasp for breath and tried with all the strength that I had inside me to not make a sound as the pain slowly replaced itself with hints of feeling that I could not describe. Was it the feeling of ecstasy and pleasure that women giggled about after their first night? Did this have anything to do with love or passion? Of course not, I told myself, this was strictly business. Frederick was obliged to free my cousin and I was obliged do give him an heir to the throne. A single tear ran down my cheek as I continued to remind myself.... Love indeed had no place in any of this. ................. links to other chapters http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic53716.html (chapter 1) http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic53746.html (chapter 2) http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic53800.html (chapter 3) http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic54024.html (chapter 5) http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic54589.html (chapter 6) http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic55095.html (chapter 7) http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/post644335.html (chapter 8. http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/post652505.html (chapter 9. http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic59246.html (chapter 10.

Coco! Haha, I feel like I haven't been on YWS for ages. Sorry I'm taking such a long time...

*coco wrote:The hairs on my arm stood on end at the thought. I desperately looked up at the ceiling and ~~with all my heart prayed~~ prayed.

Wording/flow problem here. I think this sentence works just as fine if you took out the 'with all my heart' part.

*coco wrote:To my confusion I saw that they What's 'they'? His eyes? no longer had the kind and playful look about them like before, instead they seemed to look defeated, empty, and almost lifeless.

I feel that this is a weird place to break off and move forward in time to the next part (but I like how you skip the rest of the marriage ceremony, since it is assumed that the MC doesn't refuse anything). Perhaps add some more text here; maybe talk about how Rosaline feels when she sees Tristan in that state.

*coco wrote:Frederick and I entered through the middle of the Great Hall to the sound of thunderous applause and cheers. My eyes marvelled at the beauty of the chamber around me. The walls and gallery pillars glistened with golden crystals illuminating the entire hall. Giant chandeliers made from crystals hung from the grand ceiling above which was painted with thousands of cherub angels and other heavenly beings. Rich gold curtains lazily hung over the four giant windows on each corner of the hall. Beside them, four long oak tables were covered with white rose petals, golden scented candles, and glittering golden plates and goblets. At the top of the hall on a raised dais was a grand stage with two ornate thrones. Behind them hung a giant ivory and gold canopy decorated with more white roses and candles.

This whole part is a bit choppy. I would join some of these sentences together.

*coco wrote:entered from all corners of the gallery playing “Green sSleeves” merrily on their fiddles.

*coco wrote:Love indeed had no place in any of this.

Good ending! Best so far.

I like how, at least in the first four chapters, you made Rosaline come across as a not too cowardly or weak princess (well, she was a princess), but she still isn't too loud and not shy about her feelings. I think most people could relate to her very well, since her character and reactions to all of the events are completely realistic.

Hope I helped!

~KD

P.S.
I hope you give a more detailed description of Tristan soon, haha, so we can picture him better.

About / Info

Forums & RPG

Literary

Resources